I so desperately want to change my life, but I feel completely and udderly stuck. I can't keep living the way that I live now. I stay in complete solitude, although I live with my mother, I rarely speak of see her. I stay to myself. I've completely lost myself. I try and try to evaluate my situation, and figure out how to get out of it, but I just can't seem to get past the road blocks. I've always wanted to continue my education, I'm the type that LOVES learning. Always have. I try to figure out what I want to study, it's been many things over the past few years. I keep coming back to the things that completely enthralled me growing up. Ancient History, Archaeology, and Anthropholgy. I've read books upon books about these subjects. But it's taken me this long to realize that I might could earn a living doing this. Now i'm 23, would be 24 starting college, and I feel like i've passed my prime on pursing any of those, and I didn't do so hot in high school because like most kids, I didn't care, and wasn't encouraged. Still have no encouragement. I tried community college out, and despised it. I just don't know, I feel like my dreams are so unrealistic. That I really don't try for that anymore. Another thing, I don't drive, I don't know why, I guess i'm scared. And I live in a small town with 0 public transportation. That's another thing, I want to get the f outta here. I wanna see the world. lol. I can't do anything without my mother, because she is usually the driver, and I have no friends. I find myself somewhat resenting her. IDK. Obviously there's more, but I don't feel like repeating some of my other stories. This is just what the big issue for me is right now.

I just want to start living. Start a life, that when my time is up, I can look back with a smile.
beautifulsadness2 beautifulsadness2
22-25, F
2 Responses Sep 6, 2011

I's very important but sometimes difficult to start a new life's direction you chose. For example starting a new deal through the lack of passion may become very interesting and beneficial thing you could imagine in a few weeks. And then it may be you can't stop doing this. You've got to be starting something to paint the days of your life)

The point is not how long it took you to know what you want and what you don't want.Most people pursue things without thinking thoroughly and eventually end up regretting what they do.At that point there really is no way out mainly because they are bound in chains by what they are doing and are supposed to do.<br />
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So,finally....welcome HOME!!!