Today I Had An Epiphany....

I think the more you try the "new" responses to friends, the easier it becomes: like fake it til you make it.Hope things are improving in your life!

There is a book called Amazing Grace and it's about forgiveness. I don't agree with all of it. The thing that struck me is if you keep the anger and do not forgive then you are the one who suffers and loose alot of you life. It's like drinking poision and hoping that the other person will die.

Moving Forward... realizing where you are, is the start of Moving Forward :>}

... in other words, don't let the past dictate who you are today...

The trick is to let yourself experience everything that ever hurt you, to feel it fully, and let it penetrate you through and through. Then all at once let it go!

Best of luck!

may you be blessed!

sunshines!

Know what you mean.

I think this is the start of growing up, maturity.

Deserves celebration. :)

Don't shed your past, but don't let it hinder your future.



With the personal insight you seem to have, I think you have great hopes of reconciling yourself to your present.



Good luck, I wish you the best

if you don't let it go will cause h.blood pressure.from now on remember that people take kindness for weakness and watch who you do for.and you want to please your friends as the heart is a lonley hunter.

People from my past I try & just stay away from to begin with.Have met a few but ya know it just brings back bad vibes & baggage so why even see them? I don't EVEN go there anymore. Got too many great differant type people in my life now.Maybe it's time for a change for you...

Kudos

It seems to me you are beginning to realize how one's attitudes, emotions can still effect oneself in the present. Even more important is how you are starting to be aware that how crucial it is to be cognizant of this. I find what you wrote essentially very hopeful . Its one thing to learn from one's experiences. Its another to be able to change for the better with that knowledge. This looks from what you wrote to be the case with you. I get the impression you are now trying to live for the most part , in the present and not seeing things as reflections of your past hurts. I know personally how difficult it can be to get rid of troubling moments. Just today I saw the tail end of John Hughes "Sixteen Candles" It reminded me of how hurt I was at my "Sweet Sixteen" when some of the fellow guests told me they were only there because they were invited. That was decades ago. I've known good friends in the past and now, but I still feel sad over this. I think what I should do and you too, I figure most everyone is to not dwell on the negative past and remind ourselves of the positive in our lives.

You made the first step by realizing that you still hurt and that you put up defences to protect yourself. All of us do this,to varying degrees. By acknowledging this, maybe you can stop yourself from continuing on this way. Try to let things go and make a new start.

It all comes down to the choices that you make now. You can decided to live life to the fullest and get everything that you can out of the short time that we have or you can be ruled by your past. My own life was not perfect either but then whose is? I refuse to let those people, places or things rule me or "win." I don't have and didn't have control over many things in the present or the past but these things I do have control over!!

You are going to be fine. As soon as you want to let things go, the conscious will has a way of making that possible for you.

Everyone feels this way about the past. It is up to you now to let forgiveness in and relax in the knowledge that you are loved by your creator. Just as the flowers, bees and trees are loved, so are you.

All this pain is illusion. It's like the skinny girl hating herself because she thinks she's fat, it's all in her mind. Our pain is born out of nasty words and we keep them going in our head.

If you have a problem with something or someone, ultimately you are the one with the problem. It is better to make excuses for people, give them the benefit of the doubt, find a way out of holding onto things.

You will get better. The more you focus on forgiveness, healing, letting go of the past, release, and meditate while in nature, the closer you will be to being a whole person.

Think of negativity like a cancer, it spreads. So start your healing process today by focusing on things that make you happy. My short list goes like this:



Art work

Dancing to loud music

Exercise in the sunshine

Lemonade and potato salad

Kissing and hugging

Pretty dresses and bow ties

Petting my cat

Thai food from my favorite restaurant

making gifts for my friends



It's kind of like from the Sound of Music when the kids are scared of the thunder, "A Few of My Favorite Things!" Just start your list and meditate on it. You can also make a collage about these things. It's up to you to make your world a safe place for your heart. You are beautiful and you deserve to be loved. The love starts with you though.

Give yourself a hug! Have you told yourself you have beautiful eyes, a great smile or strong hands today? I say these things to myself so that each day I believe it a bit more. And when I think these things about me, I seem to glow from the inside out. My eyes sparkle a bit more each time. I know that I am feeding my soul with these thoughts, that I am growing more in love with my real self than ever before.



You can do this too.

The only difference between you and someone you admire is that our heroes tend to take good care of themselves, with the knowledge that they deserve to be loved. We are taught to be searching for someone else to do it for us but it is up to us as individuals to pour on the sugar.

Someone I admire is Oprah. She is a survivor and she kept saying yes to herself when it came to pursuing her dreams. I am so in awe of her belief that she was worth all the work and effort she put into her career. I know that I am worth it too, just as you are.

''WHAT HAS HAPPENED WAS GOOD, WHAT IS HAPPENING IS GOOD, WHATEVER WILL HAPPEN WILL ALSO BE GOOD,'' SAYS LORD KRISHNA JI IN SHRIMAD BHAGWAD GEETA,, THIS PHRASE SAYS IT ALL

firstt of all let me say that your feelings are completly normal but not healthy for you.first of all,forgiveness should be a natural part of your life and if it isn't then hurry,make it one. the devil hates forgiveness cause it brings you closer to god, it relieves stress,anxiety,and promotes happiness with your self and other people.the truth is life goes on whether we like it or not and all that negative energy your wasting on that feeling should be directed to something good and meaningful. something that will change your life. you are passing up blessings and opportunities to be a blessing because your holding a grudge. maybe you need to calmly discuss at lunch (your treat of course) or some thing, with the people you have hurtful feelings towards and tell them how much thier actions hurt you, so you can get closure and move on! and if your not praying then start today, it will change your life it changed mine.

I had a difficult experience, got snubbed by an old 'friend'. I've been struggling with my hurt and shame, all that social pain. Your story, your openness, is helping me get over it. Thanks for sharing, eh.

Reading your piece shows you're a person in transition. Reading the responses shows there are others who are at various stages of experiencing similar weights in their lives. The wrongs and disrespects that haunt our existence have a counter-intuitive medecine that seems to be another layer of disrespect, only one that is paid to oneself. But, the opposite is true. The medicine for all of this dark, heavy disappointment is so distasteful that the mere mention of the concept causes rolling of the eyes, exasperation and a sense that the one who suggests it simply doesn't understand.



That having been said, its still the genuine answer to lifting past ills from framing one's life. The only approach to moving into a new paradigm in a life full of disappointment with how others have regarded us is 'forgiveness'. Before you click to the next comment, though, 'forgiveness' does not absolve those people or their insensitivity or stupidity. Forgiveness merely means we realize that they don't have power over us and if they don't have the ability to respect propertly then its THAT person who is broken and 'my life' is not going to be steered by broken rudders. If personal insult can be turned around into pity for that person, just as we would feel for someone who gets an inheritance and blows through it foolishly and is left with nothing again, suddenly your own dignity is bolstered and that person has no influence in your outlook on life.



This forum is not appropriate to flesh out this concept fully, but I hope those who relate to this person who is struggling for a new day will research and implement 'forgiveness' as a cleansing from all that junk that binds a life.

People process emotions, the experiences of life, at different speeds. Some are slower to recover from emotional hurts just as different physical bodies heal wounds at different rates. Absolutely do not get down on yourself for your own nature.



I know more than plenty about hurt, about unrequited love, about relationships that go awry. Human life is complex and demanding. Life doesn't always work out as it does in Hollywood's scripts.



By all means find something in your life that you can play up when you meet someone on the street, such as your old friend. Look after yourself. Get good sleep, good food, exercise—and engage in activities that make you happy in your heart. Understand that you may be among those who who have very tender hearts. Women do not have exclusive rights to tender hearts, and men are by no means immune to the phenomenon. Move your life forward as smoothly as you can.



You will know few people in the course of your life who will listen with love, patience, and understanding to the whole of your story. With those few you can share your deepest trials. The rest you can join on the merry-go-round of life.



I wish you the best—and the energy and drive to get there.

a great book.. The Four Agreements.

"Not bad, not bad!"

"Good! How're you?"



I give those responses out of habit, not because I actually feel as good as I sound. Why? Because there's no point in bringing up pain and sorrow to people who don't intend to listen to my whining. Besides, people would like me more and have less trouble trying to start a conversation with me. I'm still my "take my life too seriously" self, though.



If you can make that positivity and optimism a genuine mood, all the power to you. Good luck with that. It'll do you good in the long run, I'm sure.

I know what you mean. That baggage we carry around just seems to rear it's ugly head, without us being aware at times. And having a positive attitude really helps when we meet up with old friends and acquaintances, or anyone really. As the saying goes, sometimes you got to fake it to make it, even when you don't feel like being positive.

:)