Unpacking The Emotional BaggagePart of starting a new life is cutting loose all of the things hanging out in your mind before. I was once told that depression is caused by focusing too much on yourself. That is probably true to an extent and a lot of people would be much happier if they stopped focusing so much on themselves.
The past two years have been extraordinarily difficult for me as they would have been for anything. I had to give up a dream job because I was being harassed by a direct supervisor and all of the action I tried to take went ignored. I lost my home to an arson/murder to which I became a witness unwittingly. I attempted suicide and wound up in the hospital. Everything just spiraled out of control and I couldn't seem to stop falling down.
Part of the challenge I've been working on is coming to the understanding that I have emotional baggage that, even if things get better, will only spell out trouble in the future. It's hard to stop and think that all of the things you had felt and thought were true were actually not the problem. It's hard to admit that the way you've been thinking is flat out wrong. I'm working through that and finishing my Master's degree and going for a job that promises a totally new career. I don't know if things will all work out, but I am really hoping that everything will turn around and that I can start fresh. I am going to try to remain vigilant so as to spot problems as they come rather than crossing my fingers and hoping they don't bite me later on.
ShadowMonster 22-25, F 4 Responses 3 Apr 22, 2012