Maybe In My Next Life

I don't know what I've done in my life. I know people would say "it's because you're too young", but I honestly think I have accomplished nothing. And looking back now, I hate it. It seems like yesterday when my mother was telling me when I was five: "Stop watching TV so much. Sleep earlier and eat more. Wash your face well. Study, study, study!"

Here I am now.
I have the worst eyes ever. Without my glasses I'm so blind that I can hardly detect distinct colors. I wear thick black glasses and yes, I've been called many names before.

I'm freaking short. Personally, I correlate this to my 'lack of sleep' and 'lack of eating'. I literally did not eat when I was young, simply because I was not hungry. Now I regret it so much. I'm the little midget girl that my friends love making fun about. It's always, "Oh I didn't see you there" and stretching to talk over my head.

I have the most disgusting acne-covered face. I have tried washing, medicine, clinics, doctors, home-remedies and nothing, absolutely nothing. I hate going out in public because I can feel them staring. Whenever my friends called me names back when I was younger, I was always the "pimple pizza face". I don't know if you understand how much this scarred me since many years back.

I can't just move schools. I can't just leave my family for a new life in a new continent. Are there different worlds? Is there any way to get out of this Earth to another one in another galaxy? Make a better past, don't go seeking trouble and friends who'd one day turn you into the principle for revenge to earn you a long suspension? The more I think of it, the more I want it. I want to restart so badly. Get rid of absolutely EVERYTHING and start fresh and new. Maybe in the next life, I can actually wake up in the mornings without loathing myself so much.

I hope I'll be able to know myself in the next generation.
15074a 15074a
18-21, F
May 10, 2012