The One Thing I Want,

My birthdays coming up and the only thing i want is everything to be different. I love my family but hate being around them, i always feel pressured by them, my parents act like im a problem and my mom doesnt even let me hang out with my little brother. "dont let that scumbag warp the mind of our angel child". Just because i smoke they make me feel like a virus in the family. Me and my dad argue about everything, at work i see father and son out having a good time and the only thing i can think is why that can never happen with me. Everything I say or do is apparently wrong. My best friend always has to have his way an be the star of the show. Like if my job makes me late for somthing hell get pissed off but if his job gets in the way of somthing and if i say anything about it im being a *****. The only place i feel respected and actually liked is work but im too young to actually hang out and be friends with anybody. I always feel worthless or hated and i want everythiing new. I want a new home all to myself somwhere far away from this place, i want to be able to do whatever i want withought feeling judged. I want new friends who respect me and are equal with me, not have friends who always have to be better at everything. I dont want suicide but i do definatly want to quit this life and start over, almost like being put in a witness protection program for my life. New home, new name, new personality. Im tired of being stuck in this wasted life of hurt and sorrow.
Slyvo Slyvo
18-21, M
2 Responses Jul 9, 2012

Salut!<br />
<br />
You're on too something, throw youself in something new and get strong (sport, outdoor, travel)...<br />
the stronger you'll get, the faster you'll get out off this crazy place, find other models... and be YOU! ;-p

the only thing i want is to dieee!!!!

That sure wont solve anything. Throwing your life away is not going to bring any good for anyone, I thought about dieing before but then i realized i have such a long life ahead of me and all these problems are gonna go away forever by next year. I don't know your situation but theres always other things that can fix it.