I Want To Run

My mother committed suicide a few months ago. She was my best friend, all I really knew and thought I could always count on her. What's left for me is my boyfriend of 2 and a half years, and my brother.
I guess I'm lost, now that I don't have my mommy. I'm only 21, I miss her. I still need her.
I live with my boyfriend. We are extremely close, I love him to death.
So why am I feeling the urge to just run? To just start a new life? I technically can't imagine living without him... But there are so many things I still want to experience, that i can't while still being stuck living this boring life with him. I just feel lost, and trapped, and young. I've been daydreaming of just leaving everything and going somewhere, to meet new people, experience something different.
I own everything in this apartment, what do I do with all of it if I want to keep it, and yet run away at the same time? So much work... I don't know where to go. Or how.

Just my basic thoughts.
Yuengling84 Yuengling84
18-21
1 Response Dec 12, 2012

sorry to hear about your mother you must miss her like crazy that is a young age to lose her like that. you must speak with your boyfriend about how your feeling if you both love each other then you will both understand each other and im positive your boyfriend will support you no matter what you decide but a suggestion would be to go away on your own for a while find out if this journey you so desire is worth while im sure your boyfriend will wait for you but you must tell him everything you cant hold it in as you will go nuts. goodluck to you in life rob.