I Want To Change But Can I?

I really did want to change. From the things I am now, I want to change but the thing is that change isnt coming for me or myself wont accept any changes in my life. For almost years, I am a quiet person who never talk. When I am at home all I do is watch tv most of the time or playing PSP or PS1 and usually wont go off my room until i finished the game. When I am at school I am always excited going home instead of being with my friends. I always wanted to go home after doing so many things to continue what i am doing but i never did had the opprotunity to learn the house thing. But the very big impact that causes my life to be wrecked was when I got older and realize that I missed to learn life by social interacting with the people around me. Now that I am married, it was one heck of a changes, and i couldn't even coop up because I am having trouble in having a communication with the people, and i dont even had a life experience to share cause every emotion i have was already inside me and I couldnt let out. I couldnt express my feeling and I couldnt even get angry, and I even have this feeling of having no care to other people. Now, I want my husband to let go of me, and even wanted to quit my job, because i was thinking that there might something that would change in me If I do these and start looking for the true religion. IT might help me, but now, my mind was asking me if I can. Stupid Doubts! I no longer dont know what to do. =(
Eureka85 Eureka85
22-25, F
Aug 25, 2011