Dazed & CommittedI want to start over again, I have no direction in life! I have been a type 1 diabetic for over 26 years. I have had 2 back surgeries with some nerve damage too my right leg. I have never had really good friends, and every time I try find someone there is just pain and things to push me away from it. I write, work on my car, or do some gardening to keep busy. My career since I am 42 years old now could be better. I was just going to go in the armed forces, I tried some college; no one has ever supported me!
Now, every time I try to do something I fail at something, in which sets me back! I still try to make friends, though I do not have the energy or resolve of mind to make snap decisions for myself and I just seem to move like a zombie. I have had problems with my mind in high school from this situation I am apart of in life! I just want to start over, my mind relevancy is stretched out and painful.
I have become something I do not want to be, with no way out! What lies before me is more of the same: no education, no friends, no one to talk to, no freedom from the pain at hand. Though, there is still direction pulling me through the labyrinth. May I suffer, and endure what has surely been a road of chaos, and disenfranchisement of my delicate nature to see what vision is failing me. Everything is failure!