Post

I Did

Last year I left an unsatisfactory, emotionally draining marriage.
After 20+ years all of "our" friends were common friends. I left the house, friends, community, all I knew. Moved to a new area and started over with nothing. It's not all a picnic, but overall its great. I've done more with my life in the past year then all the years before combined. It's difficult to make new genuine friends, but I'm on my way and remain hopeful.
I am certainly learning more about myself and the universe as a whole.
FunBiUs FunBiUs 41-45 4 Responses Oct 4, 2011

Your Response

Cancel

Dear Fraces57.. I believe it is always best to separate on friendly terms if possible. In my case however, all discussions of my wanting to leave were met with vindictive threats. I lived in fear of what would happen for two years after I had made my decision.. Finally it dawned on me that no-one should be threatening another to stay in a relationship.. so I left. It was not easy. I left everything behind.. just one day left for work, and never went back. <br />
I had a discussion with my adult daughter and tried to explain things as best as I could, without sounding negative. She didn't say much at the time, but as time progresses we have managed to build a friendship. <br />
I have joined many different types of groups..mainly nature groups and made a few casual friends. I did meet one lady friend and while I initially resisted, we have become more than friends and have lots of fun together. There are times when I still feel lonely and sad at having left some things behind. The hardest thing to do was to leave my beloved dogs ( i tried to get them, but no luck). <br />
Bottom line.. sacrifices have to be made, and it's not easy going at all... always go with your heart.... best of luck my friend.

Please, please, please tell me how you did it because this exactly what I need to do. Fear & redicule by my family holds me back. I feel like I will die here unless I make a radical change.

I have been married 30 years with three children--the youngest is now 21--so I have no longer have any excuse other than fear for staying with a husband who (A) I no longer love (B) I frequently dislike (C) has all the moneypower. I often think (i.e. fantasize) about packing a few necessities and driving off to start over but I worry that at my age (58) I will be unable to get a job that will support me. How do you get yourself unstuck from a situation that provides financial comfort but no emotional comfort?

It's not easy.. but do your really want to spend the rest of your life in fear?
Money can be freedom or prison.. it's just a tool.

Good for you!!! I've been in a 2 year marriage that's unbearable but my younger daughter begs me to stay till she finishes college so she can have a home. He is lazy, boring has gone bankrupt with his stupidities and blames others. Life is too short to be unhappy. Hopefully one day I will have the guts to leave too and start a brand new life. Enjoy your new freedom!!!

Thank You for your comment Angie. Leaving is not easy when children are involved. My daughter is 19 and still does not completely understand, but she sees that we are happier apart.