I Know I Am Not Where I BelongI have no idea what I'm doing.
I keep looking at my hands, like they did this, like I manually created this life from something tangible like dust.
"what dust we dote on."
I used to say this like it defined me. I do. I dote on dust.
Today, my friend said, "You are an extrovert, you put out energy when you're getting energy back. Being isolated like you are has made you empty."
I'm very social. I love talking, even in front of crowds. I definitely feed off the energy. I'm so alone here.
I made all the choices that led me here.
I have two options: make the best of this or start over.
I don't even know which one is scarier.
I'm usually so optimistic, an idealist, even.
Today, my reality is crushing me.
deleted 26-30 2 Responses 3 Feb 9, 2012