I Want to Stop
I want to stop drinking. It causes me so much distress in my life, like I didn't have enough already. I'm naturally up and down all the time, have suffered with depression and anxiety most of my life, drinking has been a way of dealing with things, I'm not as bad as I used to be, I just wish I could just stop at one or two, but I can't, I often come home and pass out. I often can not physically get out of bed the next morning because I'm soo ill, missed days of work because of it. I literally don't recover from my drinking until 24 hours after. I feel sorry for myself, regret the things I said and done, that is if I remember and hate myself for doing it "again"
To top it all of I often get angry and cause arguments with my partner or want to get into fights. It can get soo bad sometimes I'm scared, I hate losing control. I don't understand why I do it again again and again. Actually I do, it makes me feel better at the time, and old habits die hard.