I Want to Stop

I want to stop drinking.  It  causes me so much distress in my life, like I didn't have enough already.  I'm naturally up and down all the time, have suffered with depression and anxiety most of my life, drinking has been a way of dealing with things, I'm not as bad as I used to be, I just wish I could just stop at one or two, but I can't, I often come home and pass out. I often can not physically get out of bed the next morning because I'm soo ill,  missed days of work because of it.  I literally don't recover from my drinking until 24 hours after.  I feel sorry for myself, regret the things I said and done, that is if I remember and hate myself for doing it "again"

To top it all of I often get angry and cause arguments with my partner or want to get into fights.  It can get soo bad sometimes I'm scared, I hate losing control.  I don't understand why I do it again again and again.  Actually I do, it makes me feel better at the time, and old habits die hard.


PiscesForever PiscesForever
26-30, F
15 Responses Dec 5, 2007

So true. But we can make new habits. Sometimes it just takes awhile. I hope you can find a way to do it. I noticed my mood is MUCH better when I don't drink. Turns out, drinking to get rid of depression & anxiety just makes it worse - in fact, drinking just causes more problems overall. Take care of you

Sounds a lot like me, though mostly I've been able to get up and function rather normally. I've been a closet drinker for many years, I found it took the edge off a tense and dysfunctional marriage. Rotgut wine is my undoing, the kind you're embarrassed to purchase at the store. I just forfeited a wonderful 8-month relationship because I couldn't keep away from the bottle. Not in front of her, mind you, but her keen sense of smell could detect it every time, usually the day after. Finally we met and she told me that she couldn't plan a future with me because of the lies and mistrust. I could do nothing but agree with her. Ironically, after this loss I've decided enough is enough. Today is my 8th day sober, which isn't a lot but it's a start. And, I haven't felt like a drink either. In fact, I'm back at the gym, eating right and playing music again. My advice to anyone would be to get the toxins out of your system and you'll be amazed at the possibilities. I'm still friends with her and proposed that we re-evaluate our situation down the road a bit and she agreed. Now I'm focusing on that goal. Even if we don't get back together I will be a lot better of physically, mentally and spiritually and next time I won't screw things up by abusing alcohol. I'm using the CORE program, you can find it online. Pretty simple concept, mostly using logic. At least you don't have to sit around with other drunks and tell your tales of woe. I tried that once and it wasn't for me. Good luck to all who want to improve their lives.

A 12 step program like AA does work as long as you can overcome denial.

I remember that year, struggle and depression made me drink so much, and drinking made me even more depressed. Couldn't have a angover that I just started drinking again. Confusion.
There are different ways to quit, but even more reasons. Thanks to myself that year is just a memory, and the desire to make it just a memory is a good reason to quit. Get a good direction, don't feel like you are sick, you don't have to start a new life, but just find a good balance. You can do it.

Depressed? Check. Anxiety? Yup. Drinking to deal with life? A huh. Angry? Oh yeah. Funny thing is I'm a recovering alcoholic of 5 years yesterday and I STILL feel the stuff you're feeling. They just go away. Being on medication....I don't know if they work.... more like lets try this or that. I see a counselor. Does it help. Yes because she's someone who may not understand the whats or the whys but she is someone I can freely and openly talk with. But she doesn't make everything go away. I'm still looking for peace. EP is a great tool. A bunch of people who go through some of the same crap as you...as me and can really empathize. So just let it all out. You'll reach a point where alcohol will no longer control your life. Peace!!

First of all congrats on 5 years! And thanks for this...it was to the point and makes me feel like there is hope. I just joined this site and have been sober a total of one day. Hope I can get to where you are! How did you stop? I feel like I need to be a hermit and hide away in a cave for a year in order for me to stop!

You're welcome. As to how I quit. I never hit Rick bottom but was afraid I would. I started AA in I think the summer of 2007. But I continued to drink. Took me another four months it so. I don't know what clicked. Hearing my husband constantly yelling at me that I have a problem. My response was screw you you have a problem. Calling my counselor when drunk... major nono. How about watching your 12 yer old cry herself to sleep every single night. I saw myself through the eyes if those I live with. And I didn't want to lose them. There's probably more to it but AA helped keep me from picking up but it's not the only way ( especially since I'm not a very spiritual person). I havnt been to a meeting in a few years now. But I'm having a big problem with control these days. I don't want to go and say you're all a bunch of bleep. I really do hope that you find whatever can help you ok.

I am soooo sick of drinking. I say I am going to have just one and then I finish the bottle. I didn't even start drinking until I was 52. I am now 56 and don't have a clue how it happened so fast. I grew up in a achoholic family and swore I would never drink but now I am the only one who drinks because the rest did it when they were young and have all quit now. What the heck do I do?

I know how u feel. I do the exact same thing. I always promise myself I'll stop but then a couple of days later I do it all again

I can relate - same for me - one glass is just never enough. Tried cutting back and it just never seems to work. In my situation, my drinking problem is a total secret. No one knows that I drink every night because I drink at home and hide it from my husband. I'm too embarassed to go to AA - afraid I will see people I know. That must have taken a lot of courage to go to your doctor and get the antabuse. So glad it's working and how are you feeling 5 weeks AF? How long can you stay on antabuse?

gonnastop- well done for being 5 weeks alcohol free! Have you made any plans for when you come off Antabuse? How long do you think you will be on it?

I have the same problem...however, I've been alcohol free for 5 weeks now. I tried will power, Campral and neither worked. So, I bit the dust and asked my dr for antabuse. It has been a life savior. You can't drink on antabuse...so you can't follow those impulses...you just have to go without. Anyway, it's working for me. Hope all the best for you.

yep, i know what you are experiencing...a little is good and a whole lot more is better...I"ve puked, I've pissed on myself, I've wrecked my vehicle...among other mishaps and terrible adventures, all to convince myself that I could control my drinking...I am a "normal" drinker, right? Nothing normal about it..not at all. My brain loves alcohol and the control switch has malfunctioned to where I can't turn it off. So, you have to take the blinders off and fess up to the fact that you are not a normal drinker and that alcohol is to you what kryptonite is to superman. But, it's not that simple..there's some kind of rewiring of the spirit and mind which needs to be done. The real underlying issue of why you are drinking, depressed, angry, etc. But, I guarantee you that drinking will not help you to figure that out. You need a period of sobriety to clear your mind. See a doctor or therapist for the depression and anxiety. There are solutions which are not alcohol related. Best wishes. Spin

I'm the same way and I'm trying to go without any alcohol tonight...it's really hard. I want to be able to just have one or two..but I keep drinking til it's all gone..Last night I drank two bottles of wine..I now have a huge stomach from all the alcohol and I work out every day. LowBottom, I would love to have any resources you have.

I understand what you are saying.<br />
A.A. help me . <br />
<br />

You can stop if you really want to. Iyou really want help, try this... I got it from the internet but I did verify it is the right number. <br />
<br />
AA National Hotline 1-800-262-4944<br />
<br />
They have local numbers to call but since I don't know where you live I got the national one for you.<br />
<br />
Feel free to write me if you'd like, I know of lots of resources that could be helpful to you. It is nearly impossible to do it alone.<br />
<br />
Good luck

yea i have to agree i use to drink for lots of different reasons wether i was out to have a good time with friends or just because i could and i was depressed.<br />
it was just a quick fix then i would often get down the next day bout drinking and breaking my promise to my girlfriend so i would end up cutting myself.