I'm Now Ready For Aa

I wish I could say that I volunteered to go back to AA without any crisis or bad alcohol related incident to motivate me...but I can't. I know before I wasn't ready to say openly...Hi...I'm.....and I am an alcoholic....who wants to admit that?...but now it is a matter of life or death for me. I know that now. I've got to work this program, and my short term goal is to go to at least one meeting every day for 30 days. I'm praying as hard as I can...I'm crying...I'm begging my higher power to help make this happen for me. I need a sponser and a good one. I haven't had much luck with sponsers in the past, but that's probably because I wasn't ready.

I have been sober the last 48 hours..one day at a time, right? I can't even think about the next 30 days...I've been to 2 meetings already, and actually shared my feelings in my first meeting yesterday...they were very patient with me there because I was crying and crying as I openly admitted for the first time that I was powerless over alcohol..that it had me licked..I have never done that before in a room of strangers. I have always been so good about hiding my problem from everyone. I thought I had found a way to stay out of trouble by sitting at home and drinking, but the trouble found me...I had no control...I drank and the compulsion just kept coming...I realized the importance of the first step....

I'm going to keep on praying...please open this door for me...please lead me on the path towards sobriety and let me be open to the support offered me instead of cowering at home alone with the bottle.

thanks & God Bless,
spindabottle spindabottle
5 Responses Mar 7, 2011

I have no idea about Allen Carr, but I think you Spin are in the right place. Granted, I am writing this several months past your post. If something else works for someone else, good for them. AA works for me and "God is doing for me what I was unable to do myself/" I have watched my brother die from this disease. My wife recently had a liver transplant but should be dead. There but for the grace of God, go I. If you unfamiliar with St. Theresa's Prayer, look it up. I find great comfort in it's words today. I also hope that as I write this, you are still sober and actually enjoying a new life. Please let me know. PS, I think AA has allot better track record then any other option out there, but that is just my opinion.

I have read the book too and can confirm it is an amazing read. sAnderson2...the feeling doesn't wear off. I have gone 5 months without touching a drop now and would never have believed it possible. I hope that it will be as easy for you as it has been for me, but from what you've written you seem to have fully embraced the concepts within the book.

Hey Spindabottle - you are not alone ! I've spent the last 30 years on the alcohol rollercoaster - but NO MORE - get Allen Carr's book " The Easyway to Control Alcohol". I really can't believe it, I got it one week ago and am almost finished reading it and already I don't want to drink booze! No willpower required - you just don't want to drink! Common sense, it tastes awful, its poison, its so bad for your health, it costs so much $$. But as you read, and its scary to think that you won't drink again but you won't! I have hidden (so I think) my drinking for years but now I just want to tell everyone - I don't want a drink! Please give it a try - AA might work but its success rate is not so good...

thanks..sorry to hear about your relationship. I can imagine that leaving was not an easy thing to do, but I can understand why.

Wow. Best of luck to you. I just had to leave my significant other because they won't do what you're doing. Stay strong!