I'm Now Ready For AaI wish I could say that I volunteered to go back to AA without any crisis or bad alcohol related incident to motivate me...but I can't. I know before I wasn't ready to say openly...Hi...I'm.....and I am an alcoholic....who wants to admit that?...but now it is a matter of life or death for me. I know that now. I've got to work this program, and my short term goal is to go to at least one meeting every day for 30 days. I'm praying as hard as I can...I'm crying...I'm begging my higher power to help make this happen for me. I need a sponser and a good one. I haven't had much luck with sponsers in the past, but that's probably because I wasn't ready.
I have been sober the last 48 hours..one day at a time, right? I can't even think about the next 30 days...I've been to 2 meetings already, and actually shared my feelings in my first meeting yesterday...they were very patient with me there because I was crying and crying as I openly admitted for the first time that I was powerless over alcohol..that it had me licked..I have never done that before in a room of strangers. I have always been so good about hiding my problem from everyone. I thought I had found a way to stay out of trouble by sitting at home and drinking, but the trouble found me...I had no control...I drank and the compulsion just kept coming...I realized the importance of the first step....
I'm going to keep on praying...please open this door for me...please lead me on the path towards sobriety and let me be open to the support offered me instead of cowering at home alone with the bottle.
thanks & God Bless,
spindabottle 36-40 5 Responses 1 Mar 7, 2011