I Want to Stop Drinking Alcohol
I am a 2 time loser, That means I have been in prison 2 times for my drinking, DWI's, If I get one more in the state of Texas, I
will never get out again. It's funny, It used to scare me, But since they just keep sending me to hell, it's not so scary anymore. That in itself should scare the hell out of me, But it dosnt anymore. I have been out a little over a year now, I started drinking again, not like I was, but I know me, I will be off and running with it if I dont stop. I just dont know how, I stayed sober for 11 years straight one time, it was the best time in my life. I made a mistake down in Mexico that I could drink there, but not in the states, so I took trips to Mexico about once every 3 months to get drunk. But sooner or later It caught up with me and I started drinking here also. And just like alcohol it ruined everything. I got 2 DWI's back to back. I already had 1 in another state when I was younger and one here in Texas when I was in my teen's, so that made 4, and they gave me 4 years for it. I got out after doing my time and said no way no how was I going to drink again, but no more then 4 years after I got out, I got another DWI. That made 5, They gave me 6 years, I got lucky with only six. I swore up and down when I was locked up I would cut my throat before another beer went into me, But once again, That mistress named alcohol snuck up on me again. I am sobor today, but I dont know about tomorrow because tomorrow isnt here yet. I can go one or two weeks without drinking anything, but when the urge hits me, I go off the deep end, i say, I'm going to just have a few, then I dont remember the next day what happened, that scares me. A couple times I had driven home, thats really scary, I could have hurt or killed somebody then I would want to die. I have been very lucky not to have harmed anyone while drinking. I just dont want to drink anymore. I have been to AA and a in prison treatment facility, But I got nothing, I would Ice down beer in the truck before I went into AA because I would be so depressed when I got out. I hate alcohol. I know I'm a good man when I'm sobor, nobody has to tell me that, I just want to stay that way. I hate the felling of feeling alone in this, my family just say,s, why are you doing this, why are you drinking, why, why,why,. If I knew why? I wouldn't drink. So I dont drink around any of my family. Thats what scares me to because in order to do that, I have to drive. And I dont want to spend 40 years in prison over another DWI. I would die in there the next time, So I have hell out here and I have hell in there. I have never really written down anything like this before, for the world to see atleast. I know there's no magic pill for this, I know it's all up to me, remember I did stay sobor for 11 years at one time, then it was easy to put it down, my kids were little and they needed their dad at home sobor. Somehow i was able to just Stop then, I just dont know why I cant now.
will never get out again. It's funny, It used to scare me, But since they just keep sending me to hell, it's not so scary anymore. That in itself should scare the hell out of me, But it dosnt anymore. I have been out a little over a year now, I started drinking again, not like I was, but I know me, I will be off and running with it if I dont stop. I just dont know how, I stayed sober for 11 years straight one time, it was the best time in my life. I made a mistake down in Mexico that I could drink there, but not in the states, so I took trips to Mexico about once every 3 months to get drunk. But sooner or later It caught up with me and I started drinking here also. And just like alcohol it ruined everything. I got 2 DWI's back to back. I already had 1 in another state when I was younger and one here in Texas when I was in my teen's, so that made 4, and they gave me 4 years for it. I got out after doing my time and said no way no how was I going to drink again, but no more then 4 years after I got out, I got another DWI. That made 5, They gave me 6 years, I got lucky with only six. I swore up and down when I was locked up I would cut my throat before another beer went into me, But once again, That mistress named alcohol snuck up on me again. I am sobor today, but I dont know about tomorrow because tomorrow isnt here yet. I can go one or two weeks without drinking anything, but when the urge hits me, I go off the deep end, i say, I'm going to just have a few, then I dont remember the next day what happened, that scares me. A couple times I had driven home, thats really scary, I could have hurt or killed somebody then I would want to die. I have been very lucky not to have harmed anyone while drinking. I just dont want to drink anymore. I have been to AA and a in prison treatment facility, But I got nothing, I would Ice down beer in the truck before I went into AA because I would be so depressed when I got out. I hate alcohol. I know I'm a good man when I'm sobor, nobody has to tell me that, I just want to stay that way. I hate the felling of feeling alone in this, my family just say,s, why are you doing this, why are you drinking, why, why,why,. If I knew why? I wouldn't drink. So I dont drink around any of my family. Thats what scares me to because in order to do that, I have to drive. And I dont want to spend 40 years in prison over another DWI. I would die in there the next time, So I have hell out here and I have hell in there. I have never really written down anything like this before, for the world to see atleast. I know there's no magic pill for this, I know it's all up to me, remember I did stay sobor for 11 years at one time, then it was easy to put it down, my kids were little and they needed their dad at home sobor. Somehow i was able to just Stop then, I just dont know why I cant now.
By:
ididitb4u
Age:
46-50
,
Male
