I Dont Think I Drink That Much
I do not suffer sore heads hang overs or any bad next day symptoms, i think i love drink sometimes until i start drinking, i am drinking as i write this but i wish i wasnt now, at the start of tonight i had nothing else on my mind even though i knew i was staying in with my 4 year old son watching a film, when you think about it absolutely no reason to drink, i am 28 and been drinking since age 11, now i just do not know how to stop, i always say i will and mean it but doesnt take long or much arm pulling to make me drink, i know it will be a better life for me and my family but cant seem to take the decision to change, there is a part of me that is scared of it. i am a drinker who normally drinks when the kids are in bed, when i go fishing, with my friends,or go on a night / day out or just because i want to without any reason or encouragment , its is as if i am doing something other than work then it seems like a normal and acceptable time to get drunk, how can i imagine a life without drink, how can i get through the process, the temptation, the life change and what i think makes me spend the last of my money on drink. The idea of it all sounds so promising but it is so much easier to buy alcohol. I have tried to think what makes me drink but really there is no real reason, ive just done it for so long that even if i stop for a week i look forward to drinking again but when i do, i hate it again.