Day 12Last year during this month I had a tough time. There was a lot of snow, more then 1,5 mt (5 ft), and I was studying math, the last exam of math. I don't know why but I was addicted to the bar. Almost every day I used to go there and have 4, 5 beers. I used to drink even more on week ends. Bar is the only thing around my house and without the car bar is the only place to meet people.
I had a weird feeling that I can remember and describe: it was a kind of behavior to vent anger, for various personal and normal problems.
I was easy in that feeling.
But how someone can be ok in a situation that is bad for physical and psychological healt? I was nervous for studying, so I was listening to too much blues, and feelings were slowing down.
...hurting myself, that's what was goin' on.. but I felt ok and comfortable, I just had placed limits to my life...or limits to live my life.
The 11th reason not to drink is courage. Courage to live minutes, hours, days and weeks sober to look at things in a more colored way...or looking at things just the way they are, and accepting them.
I understood that those limits where only a way to feel safe ..safe by nothing, safe by living my life.
CrookedMat 26-30, M 0 Jan 21, 2013