Hoping to Hope

I want to stop drinking alcohol. I've been a heavy...very heavy...drinker for more than 30 years. I know it's killing me. Recent medical tests say so. My own body says so. But I haven't found a treatment program that does anything but make me want to drink more.

For me, AA is not the answer.

So starting Monday, I'm going to try to stop on my own. My doctor warned me not to stop all at once or I might have siezures or a heart attack and die. I know she's not joking, because that's the way my great-grandfather died. He was a drinker who married a church-going woman and quit drinking for her. He dropped dead of a siezure a week later.

I've got a plan on scaling down, starting with two drinks a day and working down to none over a six week period. I have to admit, I'm scared to death. I KNOW I'm killing myself, and yet, I know in my heart I don't really want to stop. But I have to...I have to, or I'm condemning myself to an early and awful death.

Wish me luck, folks. And if you believe in a loving God, please pray for me. I'm going to need all the help I can get.

Caughtinthetwister Caughtinthetwister
36-40, F
14 Responses Aug 1, 2007

Thinking of you. I hope you can do it.

I mean ...under 4 units EACH DAY.
If i could achieve that , i would be wrapped.It would be a foundation for ...more.

Hi Caught,
I am in a similar position.I have tried to ration myself for just ONE frigging week, is that too much to ask for ?, to under 4 units .Many times.I get to day 3 or 4 , usually, and then ,my head is SCREAMING at me...i deserve a break!
It's so hard to ignore it....well, i don't.My aim is to just have 4 or less units of alcohol for one damn week and FEEL that satisfaction., that accomplishment But no , it's as if my mind is working directly against me, my mortal enemy.

Many have beat addiction, so you can do it to, so can I,but at the moment i am not sober, and my damn mind /subconscious has no intention of getting sober, though i KNOW what soberity means.I can vividly remember natural highs. I used to be a very disciplined sportsman who thought nothing of running 10 kms for a bit of a stretch, for a laugh..I have had a gutful too of this snake-pit i am in.
My best thoughts go to you, and above ALL don't kick yourself down further for what situation you find yourself in. Guilt kills everything positive.

I am going to pray for you. I too need your prayers

My heart goes out for you I had a problm with aa BUT I NEVER GAVEANYBODY A CHANCE TO HELP ME I WANTED TO DO IT MY WAY ALCOHOLISM THE ISM FOR ME STANDS FOR I'll save me<br />
i couldnot stop by myself i got humilitaed by alcohol that i became willing to do anything to lift the phenomal craving that was drivingME mad the aa is not for you how do you know you were in your right fr<x>ame of mind to make that decision? if you were stilling drinkin going to meetings you can tell an alkie but you can not tell him much okay you get the drift make the phone call right and go to a meeting and stop lying to yourself its the only game in town tha works unless you want to be chain to a institutionalze for llife on mdes being told when to eat and sleep you can beet this you can beat this brother if I DID it I have not had a drink for 31 YEARS ONE SECOND AT A TIME BUT I HAD TO GET TO STEP 0 THIS **** MUST STOP NOW

Hi everyone, I am struggling to quit drinking, keep trying every week, go for two or three days then slip, now drinking while at work, it is getting out of hand and just dont know what to do or where to go, cant let my wife know it would destroy her, anyone got any advice.

im hear to help if you need, i understand exactly how you feel, good luck xx

im hear to help if you need, i understand exactly how you feel, good luck xx

Good luck to you!

Hey twister, you certainly have my prayers and support. I've sat with men going through the DT's before (though there wasn't much sitting to it), just so they wouldn't hurt themselves. I've also watched men die from their drinking. It is not a pretty picture. Until I realized I was afflicted with a disease, an allergy of the body, and obsession of the mind, I could do nothing about it. The turning point for me was when I hurt bad enough, physically and mentally, that I was willing to do whatever I had to do to make the hurting stop, though I really didn't want to stop drinking. Skeptically, I chose A.A. because those folks had all been where I was and now they are living happy lives. Thats what I wanted. There are folks who go to church and get "born again" or other various ways to stop. Keep an open mind bud, if you want to live. Good Luck twister, you have my prayers.

Hey Twister,<br />
<br />
You may want to consider a short period in rehab while you get clean. That way you can be monitored and cared for while you detox your body from the alcohol. don't know if this is a realistic answer for you, but just a thought. You're going to need some help. Nothing wrong with admitting that because it seems that it has become a physical dependency for you at this point. I'm glad you have a doctor. Talk to that doctor and ask about what your options are. As far as AA, for all its imperfections, it is one of the only places where you will meet a group of people who are going thru or have been thru what you are experiencing. You don't have to committ to AA when you go to a meeting. You don't have to do anything but sit and listen. No one is going to make you speak up, but I think it will help you to feel that you're not alone in your struggle. You need support, and because you've been alone with your drinking for so long, what makes you think you will be able to kick it alone? sometimes, seeking, asking or finding help can be the hardest step towards recovery. But, it can't be any harder than dying a slow and painful death from alcohol. I send you a sincere and heartfelt prayer for your recovery and new life. Love, Spin

You can do it... why is AA not the answer? You don't have to answer that but I am curious. So many have found their answer there. There are other options but I am not sure of the success rates.

I know just how you feel. When I tied to quit for the first time i thought i might die...Anybody strugging right now? please talk to me.....I am struggling too.

Am here if you need me, I dont understand your need to drink as I never experienced it, but I do know what its like to have an addiction so please if you need me then hessage me.xx