Too Much Yang

I am almost, or usually, angry most of the time. The anger seems to stem from that of my own inadequacies and the fact that I live in a home where my family broadly resents any other religion. In short, you'd better be a saved Christian visiting my family because if not you are going to be looked down upon!

A while back I studied the ancient Chinese symbol that is taijitu or "yin-yang" as commonly referred to. I like the fact that you don't have to be a certain something to be a Taoist. There is no "you must be saved in order to do this or that" or "one cannot marry or interact with an unequally yoked person". Christians, the ones that I've witnessed, discriminate against those that are not like them. This angers me greatly as I am respectful of all religions. The fact that they bash on homosexuals, view anything that isn't shaped like a lower case t satanic, and render their religion as superior is just highly sickening. Much to my forte, I enjoy expanding my knowledge in regards to this teaching of Taoism. The fact that my family and some other Christians preach about judging but do not follow their own laws is sickening. You judge others yet YOU yourself do not want to be judged.

I do not believe everything in the Bible to be true as it is illogical. Seriously, God punished the whole world for what two people did? He bitched about Cain just because Able gave him the first born lamb and Cain didn't really have anything good to offer (not excusing the fact that he killed his own brother)? Bashing on all women? Wanting the Hebrew slaves free just to prove your God but then later promoting slavery (read Ephesians 5 and you tell me that isn't a contradiction)? Sending someone to Hell just because they don't believe? I sincerely believe that if the country of America was to assassinate non-Christians my parents would be the first to oblige. I don't mean to view them this way or disrespect them (mind now, there is absolutely NO excuse for disrespect) but they upset me because they don't understand me and then they jump to assumptions and accusations, especially about my friends that aren't Christians.

Anyway, that yang energy I harbor is not a good thing at all. Taking your anger and frustrations out on your loved ones is not a good thing. I am not trying to change their views nor do I despise them for it. I just want them to understand that I still believe in God and Christ (I attend services, give offerings, testify, take communion, pray) but I want to study and become a Taoist and attend a temple to balance my chi (and the fact that temples rock makes me want to go even more!). Am I a bad person for that? According to them I am. If me wanting to have my own beliefs makes me a bad person then hey! Guess I'm a bad person then.

Bursting20 Bursting20
18-21, M
Jan 26, 2013