Totally Confused!Hi..I am brand new to this site, but am anxious to get my story out in order to get somefeedback on the problem and opinions that might help me see the big picture better so here goes.
I am somewhat disabled, I am on home oxygen therapy and have several other health problems. I am still quite independent and recently moved from being in the country to in town in order to be closer to my daughter and grandkids along with my boyfriend. Him and I had known each other for years from a friendship he had with my brother. But for the past two years we have had a steady relationship with each other and things were going very well, I moved to town to live with him, which we both agreed would be more convienent for both of us. His oldest daughter lived at home with him and shortly after my moving in, his daughters friend moved in with her on what was suppose to be a temporary thing. A few months later both became tired of one another and his daughter moved out leaving the other girl here! She is still living here too. She has no job, and cannot contribute to the household, seems quite controlling and had wrecked havoc on my relationship with my boyfriend(Dan). It started out as if he felt sorry for her and would help her with a few bucks here and there and now she has him wrapped around her finger and is using him for everything, including paying her child support, loaning her the car and now even taking her out for drinks on the weekends and coming home late! she will not help with chores around the house or do anything but sleep and goof off all day. there is a big age difference between them, he is 61 and she is 30, I don't think they are intimate actually but he is so infatuated with her that I have little sayso about anything anymore. We have discussed this issue many times and even went to counseling, whereas the counselor told him that this was inappropriate and disrespectful to me, but he refuses to make her leave and I tried and he said if she goes I go because he says the girl has no place to go and it would be a hardship for her. ahh! My point to him is that as long as he is keeping her like he is, she has no reason to help herself get stable, she has it made around here, he acts like a sugardaddy to her. They both go out together and don't tell me where, like out to eat and have drinks and come home intoxicated. I finally gave him the ultimatum yesterday that I would leave him if he doesn't get rid of her, but he did not seem to take me seriously(but I am) and I am refusing to let him sleep in the same bed with me etc. Although, at this time I am making plans to leave I would like some insight on what could be going on and why is it so hard for him to let her go? His daughter won't speak to him or come around because of her and she is just financially draining us to say the least. Can anyone read this and tell me why he would be so adoment about the situation? ty