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My Dearest

I started talking to my fiance on the internet about 8 months ago. We met through some mutual friends and decided to talk so our friends would stop recommending us to each other, When we first began talking, I wasn't looking for anything other than friendship. We made such a strong connection that we got engaged on our six month anniversary of dating. Over the first two months, we had great discussions about all sorts of things, there was a conversation for everything, it seemed like there was nothing she didn't know at least a little about. I did notice with certain subjects she seemed more proper with her use of language and with other topics not so much. Sometimes in the middle of a discussion she would take a while to respond and then say, "Hi" and start talking about something completely different. We spent every free minute of our days talking on the phone or over the internet. It was during my first in - person visit that I really began to understand that something was different than with most people.

We were sharing one of those sweet and romantic kisses and all of a sudden her eyes got wide and she said, "Why are you kissing me?" I replied it was because i loved her and she said, "you don't love me, you love her." Thats when I fully realized that she had someone else inside, someone that was not called the name i knew her by.

Over the past few months, i have done a lot of research, spoken with various counselors, and spoken with all 5 of her personalities. There is the host, the person i first met, and then there are 2 males, one female, and one sexless presence that simply goes by the name of "the body." I have come to form a bond with every personality in one way or another and we all have found ways to at least tolerate each other, one in particular is very wary of me and hesitates to trust me. I have read this is common among relationships with people who have D.I.D.

They do not want to consider integration just yet, they did not know that all of them existed until I came along and started having discussions with them individually. My love is trying to get all of them on the same page as far as at least trying to go to therapy on a regular basis, each of them. Most of them have agreed to do it, but one is still struggling with trusting a complete stranger handling their experiences and history.

I love my dearest with all of my heart and after hearing all of her past, I know that because she trusted me enough to meet all of them and form bonds with all of them, we are going to make it.

A main question that all of them have asked continuously is "are you going to hurt me," and "are you sure you want all of us in your life, wouldn't you rather have someone normal?" and every time they ask these questions my whole hearted response is, "I will not hurt you, i will protect you and care for you to the best of my ability and you are normal- you just have a different way to cope for all of the hardships and pain adn suffering you have been through. I'm not leaving and I promise to do what I can for all of you."

I was afraid at first, but after a few months, I have gotten used to the way of life with a multiple, it has its ups and downs just like any other relationship does, but I intend on keeping my vow and protect and love and nurture and care for all of them.
studdaddi studdaddi 22-25, F 5 Responses Dec 22, 2011

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Scottysol,<br />
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My husband has DID. I realized after being with him for six years. I thought at first he were bi-polar and he got a diagnosis for that. The host at the time, J, and H all dated me. <br />
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What worked at first for us was me accepting them all and having a name for all the madness. <br />
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Now Another named G also calls me wife. The core/birth personality has since came out and grown to biological age. He to loves me. The other parts are friends, brothers, or children to me.<br />
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Yes they are all jealous of each other. It isn't as bad now as it used to be. J he and H always would push each other around over me. J is very jealous of H. J is more manly and brutish. H is Mr. Suave. <br />
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I love them all and accept them as part of whole. They are all a part of who my husband is.<br />
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I think what helps the most is when the host, core, and alters all realize they are a part of a whole. My husband the core/birth personality was jealous of the alters. He would get upset if they touched me etc. I would tell him they are you. This helped him.<br />
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I hope this helps some.<br />
<br />
Lisa = )

I was wondering if you might give me some help, I have 7 alters right now and one amazing girl, but...things aren't going so swell. What works in your relationship? What doesn't? Are more parts than the host interested in you and/or dating you? And if so...do they get jealous of each other like mine do? Any help is much appreciated.

I just kinda learned about this mpd and learned that its not rare. I find it amazing how they coped...but i can totally see the emotional ups and downs they go through...a great spouse who goes above and beyond for the person with a mental disorder is a spouse that knows how to love fully. My own husband is being very supportive with me when he can...being atleast understanding when i m not pulling my own weight around...he doesnt mind being my crutch, wheelchair, caste. IT is the biggest blessing i have had in many years. Other then having my own children..i consider them my life. When i thought i could never be happy again in my life...he has changed and given me normalcy, stability, care, comfort. I hope that you always remain strong for your woman...and her alters. Sometimes it might seem very hard but i hope that you never give up fighting the fight that will lead to happiness.

studdaddi,<br />
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hang-on -- ur in for a wild ride - but it will be the most exciting adventure you ever take.<br />
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Blessings STT : )

You are a very special person to love someone so much and she is very much much in love with you to be able to share her others with you. Way to go and all the best to all of you. Ei