I met a woman in 2004 through an AA buddy of mine(i am no longer in AA). I had no idea what i was in for. In the beginning of the relationship, everything was out of a storybook. We even got married(my own personal 9/11 in retrospect). A month later, we took a trip to Sequoia to see the trees. Then something very odd happened. We pulled to the side of the road, her 16 year old son and i got out of the car and walked down the embankment to get a better view of the landscape, while she stayed in the car with her 9-year old son. Upon returning to the car, she appeared shaken up. She said that 2 men appeared in another vehicle and looked at her threateningly. I got in the car and we drove down the road, while i tried to use humor to possibly lighten the mood, saying "oh, that guy looks suspicious too" or something to that effect. She took this as insensitivity and even hurled a racist comment at me (I'm white and she's hispanic). I told her that if she makes a comment like that again, she's going to see what happens(i implied divorce). Things went downhill from there. Nothing, no matter what i did, seemed to help the relationship. Prior to the Sequoia incident, there was one night when it seemed like her face changed right before my eyes. It was her true self, which was a VERY evil person. This leads me to believe that her marriage to me was not love for me, but instead a calculated move by a predatory individual. Her being 15 years older than me, i think her plan was to use me as a slave, to help her buy a house to get out of the apartment she was living in(she even pushed me to get a real estate license, and i can't stand real estate!). As time went on, her true self became totally exposed. She had a total lack of compassion and sympathy for me. When she drove me to tears, it was taken by her as a sign of weakness and she became more abusive, verbally and eventually physically. I was a practical hostage for 3 years. I left her several times, after each time she would manipulate me to go back, using guilt. Although our sex life was great for the first month, afterward she became extremely frigid, even going so far as to manufacture health conditions as a reason not to have sex and i even felt sorry for her until i realized that her health claims didn't add up. Eventually, several events caused me to leave her for good. After a frigid trip to las vegas, where she made me sleep on the floor because my movements aggravated her "Health condition", A man who was renting a room in my house came out of left field and told me she was hitting on him aggressively, my mind snapped and i began abusing prescription drugs. Soon after that, i checked her cell phone messages. One message was from a man who did electrical work, and it was very flirty. The other message was from a local hotel, saying she had forgotten her I.D. and left it there. When confronted, she denied everything. She said the tenant was gay and that she had found women's lingerie in his room. She said the hotel incident was her renting a room for her illegal-immigrant girlfriend so that the girlfriend could have privacy with her boyfriend. She also got the girlfriend to talk to me to back up her story. She drove me to the brink of insanity and i envisioned myself hanging from a rafter in the garage. I did everything for her, even getting three jobs, but it was never enough. After doing some research on the internet, i found out that she has many characteristics of a sociopath. Without a doubt, those were the worst 3 years of my life, and i still have nightmares after 2 years away from her. My advice to anyone: learn what a sociopath is, avoid anyone you suspect of being one, and if you're married to a sociopath, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE BEFORE THEY KILL YOU OR CAUSE YOU TO KILL YOURSELF. THEY ARE NOT A TYPICAL HUMAN!(they have extreme predatory instincts and no conscience). Personally, I believe they should devise a test to identify sociopaths and remove them from society. Sociopaths are responsible for untold numbers of murders, suicides, and financial damage also. They can take any shape or size, even a petite woman like my ex-wife. BE CAREFUL!
Man with PTSD after the fact