I Can't Speak. I Can Barely Think.

Over the years it's become harder and harder to talk about things when I'm upset. I want to, but I can't find the words. The more upset I become, the less responsive I am. My boyfriend will ask me what's wrong, and I'll get out a few words sometimes. He'll try another question, and most of the time I just can't answer. I sit there and try to think. My mind goes blank. I just get a vague mix of feelings I can hardly identify much less explain. I want to respond, I really do, but I can't. I want people to ask more questions. Specific answers come more easily than statements. He says I seem nearly catatonic at my worst. I want to talk, or even be able to let go the tears I know are just below the surface. It's just so hard to break out of this. Maybe EP will help. I don't know what else could.

gloomysunday gloomysunday
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 27, 2010

I empathize with you. I was the same way. there was alot of social anxiety and feeling different. It took years of going to self help groups and just listening. Then it seemed like one day a flood of pent up words and strong convictions let loose. Today I know and have faith that what I have to say is important. A friend pounded it into my head that I was just another screwed up person in WNY. I think you got a good start here. Maybe you could start a journal or a blog on this site. I know That in order for me to recover I had to smash the silence and stigmas I placed on myself. I hope you find all that you are searching for.<br />
to read more from me go to: wisdomreleased.com