I Can't Speak. I Can Barely Think.
Over the years it's become harder and harder to talk about things when I'm upset. I want to, but I can't find the words. The more upset I become, the less responsive I am. My boyfriend will ask me what's wrong, and I'll get out a few words sometimes. He'll try another question, and most of the time I just can't answer. I sit there and try to think. My mind goes blank. I just get a vague mix of feelings I can hardly identify much less explain. I want to respond, I really do, but I can't. I want people to ask more questions. Specific answers come more easily than statements. He says I seem nearly catatonic at my worst. I want to talk, or even be able to let go the tears I know are just below the surface. It's just so hard to break out of this. Maybe EP will help. I don't know what else could.