Im Lost The Past And Worried About My Future.

Im am a 23 year old streight guy. I was gay raped by a man in the middle of the town after waiting for a taxi home after nightclubbing. My friends had gone home and while i was waiting for my taxi i was manipulated into walking away with a guy that claimed he was leading me to the next nearest taxi parking bay. I was extreamly drunk and had no controle or any way of defending myself. After the first attack he did it again minutes later leaving me half naked and unconsious. Luckly he was caught that same night and i was recued by the police due to CCTV. However i woke up the next morning im a hospital bed confused and oblivious to what had happened. Long story short i kept this quiet and followed it trhough to court and put him away for a long time. However the after effects have been much harder to deal with, im on deppresion tablets and am unable to work as a witness told my ex work mates who it was on about in the papers as i want to remain annymus. People asked me questions about it when i returned to work and i had to leave as i could not handle the pressure of telling evryone. its been 2years now and i still have not got the confidence to go back to work. i dont sleep often(its 4:45am now) and as well as suffering with depprssion and anxiety im in dept and have not enough income to help me get out of it. in order to get out of it i would have to go to work...but i am still too ill to go. having my depression and anxity, worrying about money is delaying my recovery. Please help and advise :(
cjnx123 cjnx123
22-25, M
1 Response Nov 28, 2012

There are many other problems on how im coping too, my life...the value of it and who im living for...i live for my family and that all...in myself im only existing