I Don't Know.

Truth is, I don't know how I feel. I know that I feel depressed all the time,and that it's slowly killing me. I can't explain what it is, it's just something that I can't solve, can't see the light. I'm everyone's second choice, the annoying girl who gets everything wrong, just that girl. I think maybe this started when my aunt committed suicide 2 years ago, I tried to help her I couldn't lose her, but I did. She was gone, and no one else could replace her.Ever. I realised that the world is ugly and cruel, and that no one is worth trusting, that I couldn't talk about things to anyone. People just made fun of me, so I went along with it, acting the part of a hyper girl who makes people laugh. Not with her, but at her. I started cutting, and it makes the pain go away for a few seconds but then it all comes back, so I have to do it again and again to feel okay again. I just want to sleep forever, where nothing can hurt me. I have tried committing suicide 3 times but never actually went the whole way. I want to kill myself but I can't, however if a car were racing down the street toward me, I know I wouldn't get out the way. So yeah, it's not the most tragic but it's my story, and it's slowly killing me..
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5 Responses Dec 1, 2012

U sound so much like me... But im slowly learning the world can be somewat good... And thr sucide isnt the answer.... Nethir r pills... Anyway message me anytime u wanna talk ok??

Hey. You. You're worth a lot. You're a great person. I know, I know. You might be thinking, "this person doesn't even know me." But I've read your writing and I can tell that you are a passionate, caring and intelligent person. The world needs people like you. I know what it's like to cut and I know what it's like to sink into a gray meaningless world that hurts to exist in. It will change. You will shift out of this. I don't think you're annoying. I don't think you're second best. I don't think you're someone who should be made fun of.
I'm sorry that you lost your aunt, truly I am, but don't travel that road to suicide.You are worth SO MUCH. You are a great human being that is filled with so many ideas, emotions, gifts, memories, dreams, laughs, cries, smiles, jokes, tears, the list goes on forever... Your story is just getting started and I think you're a brave person for communicating that things have been difficult for you. If it's slowly killing you, you've got to start fighting back by filling yourself with positive thinking. For every thought you have that's negative, try thinking the exact opposite. It will help.

no u want to kill me so u can keep ur sec chouce

Your not my second choice ever,love you .

its ur revenge isn it? dont forget violence will led u jail time see u there