She's Only 13

hello I'm zoie  and I'm 13. but Ive been through more then most adults.. let me start when i was 5 my brother raped me in my own home with everyone there... he was 8 and knew better i did't i was 5.. after that i had put on about 30 in the next few mouths. and then 30 more i was 8 and almost 100 pounds food was just there when no one else was. then one day my uncle had OD and my mom had to bring him back from the dead they said he died again on the way to the hospital, who knew just in 2 weeks my life would change forever. my mom and dad were getting a divorce and i was OK with that until my dad said he was going to kill him self and broke my moms arm she had to have surgery and my dad went to jail for 2 in a half years of my life i didn't talk to him for a year of that. but life was great when he was gone i hate to say it but it was i would of rather had him there for me but they were good 2 years but when he came back when i was in the 4Th grade i was at the beginning of my anorexia and that didnt last long i wasnt bad i just a one week  thing.. but in 5th grade i was being bullied.... i delte with it but my life was going down hill but in 6th grade was the worst time of my life i had got in to drugs and was a havey drinker and i started cutting and my anorexia was  back with a vengens and it was hard and depressed and life sucked in that one year i tired to kill myself 4 times all of them i passed out and fall so i didnt die and i have never told anyone that i was raped until a girl named nayda became my best friend and she was raped when she was 8 by her uncle. and it hit me i needed to tell and i havent done so but i plan to but im about to go to the 7th grade and my dad and step mom are having money troubles. and we might have to move to an aparment its only the three of us but still right now i live in a big house my life was about to be perfect then they told me that and the cycle started over and then my step mom found out that i was cutting but nothing else soo i need to tell he that  was raped so he dosent do it again he tried to do it to my little cousin but she stop him.. why couldnt i?
13years 13years
13-15, F
2 Responses May 29, 2012

Its strange to read your experience. I am 26 now and our lives have been very similar. When I was a kid, my step dad raped me every day for 4 years from the age of eight on up. I did drugs, I cut, I hurt so much.<br />
<br />
I am now 26, and I can tell you that what you've done is the first step towards growing and healing. I didn't do what you're doing until I was 24. Go to a therapist. Talk through it. Learn to forgive your brother, even if you're still angry.<br />
<br />
I am married now. I graduated college. I give speeches for a support group for teenage girls that survived rape and ******. And I am happy. One day you're going to be happy. Keep healing.

age 5 you trust those that are suppose to protect you i think<br />
may be your little ciusin did not have the same level of trust you had<br />
<br />
but i know the feelings and very sorry

she was alittle bit older then 5 i think cant remeber..
but thanks