Adventures In EP love and other things

EP ""

I have had crushes quite a bit on here. Ive been on EP for 3 years and there was this one guy in Louisiana who was a nut. He took drugs and was a tattoo artist. He had an alter ego named Lizzie that talked all scratchy and weird. I liked that of course. I ended it because he was threatening suicide over the phone. He told me he had the bath water running and was taking the razors out. I was crying and yelling. I felt helpless. That wasn't right to do to me. 
There was a time where I worked as a cam model. Couple years ago? I don't know what possessed me. I'm not that kind of girl. I don't know how to act sexy. It was the money...ha. That lasted a few months. I met this guy on here and he sent me flowers..O..we videochatted and I almost met him. He was unhappily married and thank God I didnt meet him. 
There was also a guy on here who was never naughty with me but Christmas before last he bought me lots of presents sent here to make my holiday nice. He was always talking about suicide.  He wasn't happy in his marriage either and wanted to be with another woman but couldnt leave his wife and son. Hes not on here anymore. I did get a Christmas card from the family tho this Christmas. Odd.
I met one guy on here..Z....I visited his house in Michigan for the holidays 2010. It was nice and I got along with his daughter. But I didnt want to move to be with him. I didnt love him either. I got back home and barely talked to him. Thats ok..he started screwing this girl I met at the time who had a bf. but the bf went crazy and had to go be in a mental ward. So they "hooked up" after I left. I guess they were attracted to each other. But it didnt last. I havent spoken to him in ages. 
My guy now is wonderful.  I hurt so much that I cant be with him and have no idea how I ever will. 


 I got so down about my life I went on the internet and asked people in a chat room if they wanted a 24/7 slave. I wanted to be kept captive in a house. I have a story about it(fiction) but I haven't written it down yet. One guy in Arizona wanted me to come there and thank God he didn't respond back. I have been in slave situations. I had a master that was older than me(54?) and he started to love me and I didnt love him so I eventually I stopped seeing him. We liked the same music and I would hang out at his house on the weekend. My parents fought sometimes so I got away from that. I was about 30 too. I didn't sow my wild oats in college but in Hawaii I did. I met guys off the internet and 2 I had 3 months with each and went into a depression when they broke up with me. I spent time with them overnight in the barracks(they were in the military) of them was 1 of the 4 virgins I've had. Teehee. I had one bf there who was Asian and I thought of him as a bratty little brother until we went to a club for New Years Eve and did ecstasy. Suddenly I looked at him differently. After that we were bf/gf. but he went off to NY to go to school. I visited him for two weeks and he had this clear liquid(GHB)..I would put it in my soda and it made me feel so good. Twice I passed out suddenly and I have a hard time going to sleep. He decided he didnt want me to come live with him like he said. That was 2001..the year of 9/11. I went to the world trade center too but it was in may. Well Im glad he decided that because I HATE  NY! 

My fantasies since I was 15 consist of being drugged(needle in the arm or pills) and being held captive in someones house. Lately, I am in the basement and they come down and take me when they want. I always get kidnapped walking along the street in a van. I know these thoughts and desires aren't normal. I wonder why I have them. I know something awful happened to me when I was very young and Ive tried to access it but I just cant. Its too awful. I dont know if I can ever handle it. the guy who was my roommate here and that I dated a couple weeks was also dom. He went farther than anyone. He would punch me in the ribs and slapped me in the face. And bite my hand lol...he had fuzzy feelings for me but again I didnt like him that way. Im so glad he said I could stay here because my ex got taken away by the cops and I had no where to go. and here I am all alone and independent...yay?But I know  about the feeling comfort you can get from being a mans slave and having everything taken care of. Your life dictated. But also you are missing out on so much.

That is the city I lived in before I moved here. I moved back to CA in 2003 from hawaii(CA is my home state). I lived in this nice cabin in the mountains but they kicked me out so I was Hemet. I stayed at a motel for two weeks. My money ran out and I went to the ER with my panic attacks then. Long story short I eventually found my own place..after being in a homeless shelter. I'm proud that I found my way always. 

Kittychanel Kittychanel
41-45, F
10 Responses Jan 5, 2013

Yeah..I deleted the story about feeling things during sex. I believe this is the second time you have shown your genitals on ep..I friended you before and forgot about it...please refrain from harassing me k?

you are very streetwise. You done so much more with your life than me a forty year old mess
we both end up on EP i wonder sometimes if God makes me a loser as soon as i am born

I don't feel strong...I'm just glad it's all in the life has been very peaceful the last couple years...its pretty quiet here at the hermitage..

Gee I ***** and complain and this bloke wants to add me? lol!

hey guys love girls for what they are... (hides behind the couch to dodge the incoming wod of car keys) puahaha

car keys? good defense when you don't have peeper spray

Lol... pepper spray. (cringes) >.>

only for the bad guys!

When I lived outside of detroit I use to carry a can of bear mace in my car.

they make mace just for bears?

Oh yea, it has 19% of the chemical (whatever its called) in it rather than the normal 13%. Get it at the army navy store. I think its illegal to use on humans but if you look around you can find the bear mace in canisters that have an area of effect spray 15 foot radius. Its like riot control, toss a gas mask in your glove compartment and your all set for the zombie apocalypse. Shazam!

I don't like bears. I've never encountered one. Never went camping! Zombies..pssshhh

Well zombies are just an imaginative projection for human beings. See Japan has Godzilla because they fear radiation and earthquakes and tsunami's and such. So Godzilla causes all those things to happen when he comes out of the water and starts running through the city. Americans... have zombies! Because we know deep down that when the **** hits the fan... we will be eating each other and rioting in the streets. Isn't it ADORABLE how humans manifest there fears creatively rather than facing our denial?

6 More Responses

Thanks..same to you! I don't know anything anymore..

I'm sure you know what's best for you. More power and best of 2013 to you KC.^^

Thanks! (((hug)))))

You're Awesome!!!!!!

What no mention of me? Lol

What happened with us? You mean your emo phase? After mas Larry! :P

You got me pregnant and left me with the hospital bill.....not cool, but all in all you know how to shake it

Is $10 a month OK? Whats our baby look like? I dont have a penis!

Wow,you've had a very interesting life

Thats just part of it!