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Did somebody tell you being rich might be lonely?

 Many people think that being rich is the best thing in life. You can afford anything in life, you can buy nice cars and vacation houses, you can own a yacht even an airplane, you can buy all the fancy clothes, you can travel anywhere you want on your jet or a commercial airliner’s business class, you can buy expensive wine and dine at fancy restaurants. Well it’s all true but if you realized what is missing from this short list is the things that you can not buy with money such as love, friends and relationships with people.
In fact being rich is sometimes a lonely experience. Most of your life you might be working your *** off to reach your goal and in the meantime you might not have too much time for fun, for friends or a serious relationship. This period might be very stressful both mentally and financially as you might fail several times in your business, you might be in the red financially often and you might not even get a good night sleep.
Then let’s say your business gets more stable financially and you seem to be on the right track. Then you start to grow and as you grow you meet new challenges that take your energy away from your possible ordinary life. New competitors enter who might be copying what you do or how you do it, you hire employees whose goal is not the same as yours and might not be as motivated as you and it might stress you out. Then you might meet new legal challenges, you might have to adopt to new economic conditions, and you might have to restructure and rebuild some parts of your organizations.
Then let’s assume you become really successful. You might make millions of dollars already and it took you two decades of dedication and hard work. Now you think it is time to enjoy your success. You start to travel to places you always wanted to go to, you buy new sports cars and a yacht and you elevate your living standard by buying a nicer house by the beach, by dining at nice places and by becoming a club member in an elite golf club.
The only people you meet regularly are like you with similar lifestyles, with similar selfish goals to become rich and some other arrogant people. These people all think they are better than others, they think they are more worthy because their wallet is thicker. You become one of them.
You either choose a partner from among them or you are up to be with someone who wants your money. You also stuck with these people as your friends and your conversation topics are limited to everything luxury magazines write. You either accept it and embrace it or you are screwed.
You lose your connection to the real world and you become lonely; very lonely in very rich surroundings. And there is hardly any road back. You get used to it since you are in it, in this lifestyle for decades. You get used to having fake friendships and dishonest friends who would screw you over financially if they could. And even if you establish your family, most likely your kids become part of this circle.
I know it very well. I am a millionaire with three companies and three divorces in my life. I have my yacht and a Porsche but I see my kids very rarely and even during those short visits they want more money from me to be able to buy a nicer car. I have no real friends even though everybody who knows I am wealthy want to be friendly. I have no social life other than among these other business people, I have not experienced what real love is and even today after so many years I have sleepless nights caused by some business matters.
Is there anything I would change looking back? Yeah. I would stop at having a small company that provides a good living, one that provides you enough not to have financial problems in life. One that does not take your own life away from you, one that lets you experience your life emotionally, spiritually and mentally.

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wisestories wisestories 31-35 4 Responses Jun 16, 2010

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oh my goodness that is perfect!! that is EXACTLY right... have been there and nearly stayed there except for love of a good woman and family/friends...! lost $m's but hey bet am happier than if still had them!!

Maybe this is a bad idea, but I think you should give away some of your money. The simple act of giving money to others makes you happy. And you will have the chance to experience a 'regular' lifestyle, thus meeting 'regular' people and possibly find the one that will love you for who you are and not as the epitome of success.

I know this is extreme but just think of it.

I'm going through a very similar situation. I'm 41 have a high paying job at one of the largest corporations. Through dilligent saving, stock options, investing and generous bonuses, I've become moderately wealthy. I have a luxury home, boats, a lake house, and pay for everything, including cars in cash. I have a lot of friends, many of them for 10, 15, 20 years. In most cases, these friends and I were on the same financial plane when we met (not wealthy) but as the years went by, they built marriages and families and I built wealth. Some have had financial hardship and downright collapse through the recent recession. None of them seem to envy me and they treat me the same as always, although some came knocking on my doors for loans during the recession. I have a lot of compassion for people so it didn't bother me, although I did resent a bit that as single guy, I was supporting married couples and entire families. "Let's make a deal, you can borrow money, just loan me your family for a while!" (kidding). The problem with being wealthy and alone is that there are no support groups and little sympathy for it. Individuals and families assume that wealth would solve a lot of their problems, which it does, but they take for granted that they would be wealthy AND still have their family. From a young age I've always wanted to be married and have kids and that was a very large part of why I drove myself to be successful. I thought of something recently that I tell someone who tells me I shouldn't be lonely because I have so many close friends. I tell them to imagine how they would feel if they never met their spouse and didn't have their kids. That is how I feel. I would give everything I own away for that.

Your story touched me as did the author's. If I could I would give you a hug right now :-) We all have hopes & dreams and I am so glad you have been able to share yours. I can imagine how it might be difficult at times. May you both find a gentle and compassionate partner who will sincerely love you for who you are! Good luck! :-)

Come on, cheer it up!At least you know how to make money.Money is not important but it is really hard with ought it. If i were you i would just find friends out of your common life.You don't show or tell people what you do.What i have experienced that some people isolate themselves because of their status, they show that they are better then others and that you are nobody to be around.But some of them are very nice and knowledgeable that you feel blessed to be around with to educate yourself.
Good luck my friend!;)