Courage

When I was born, I was born with a physical disability called Moebius Syndrome (but it can also cause autism) this syndrome means that I have visual impairment and no lateral eye movement. It affects many nerves in my body. I cannot move my face, lips, I can speak, but my tongue movement is restricted. I also have low muscle tone, which means I am quite weak, although I have gained a lot of strength in my arms. It also affects the teeth, my teeth were very bad when I was younger, they were overcrowded, crooked. Also it affects the jaw and throat, so ive always had problems eating, I've had  quite fatal chokes before..sounds horrid i know. The has had a very big impact of my life. I have had constant hospital trips, like having lots of my teeth taken out, also I dehydrated when I was just 3 years old and was quite ill. 

When I was a baby, I couldn't feed due to the disability and I was in hospital for weeks, being fed through a tube. I was starving and I apparently I was always crying, I think that's how I've developed my anger issues, my impatience and depressions. I've always been for constant eye examinations at the hospital too, luckily I've always had good glasses and I don't have anything badly wrong with the eyes. They're healthy, but the nerves are badly affected, so maybe they're not too healthy..obviously..Now, school, this is the thing that's really damaged me emotionally in the years. When I ver first started school, it was alright, but I was being called ugly a lot, always kids treating me badly and I had quite nasty friends, I can't exactly call them "friends" but they were the only kids I could actually hang out with. They'd dis me, try to quickly run off and leave me all alone, they'd whisper things to each other about me and get me in trouble.

I've always had problems with people, it's been really tough, just genuine life. The most intense pain and torment happened at a school I call the "hell-hole" it's a secondary school. They claim they're a Christian school..a "church-going" school, but they treat people in a very evil way, not very Christian if you know what I mean. I first started 4 years ago. It all seemed new, quite interesting...until the kids practically went wild and things started to take a turn for the worst. I was constantly being called names, being screamed at in the ear by stupid boys running passed. Being hit with pens. People were throwing food at me, pushing me over and ruining my education. They were ruining my education by always tormenting my in class, particularly science and french. I love science, so being bullied made me loath it in the end. I also had this horrible girl that I was actually forced to be friends with. She was ok one minute but then totally bizarre the next. She would fall out with me for absolutely no reason and I'm not joking. She'd just start shouting at me and even try to hurt me. I told the teacher about her too, but she still just wouldn't leave me alone, even when I tried to hang out with other girls, who weren't exactly very friendly either.

All this drove me absolutely insane, I told the teachers, even the head teacher, well as always, they didn't do NOTHING. Nothing at all! I stood up for myself against these bullies, but they weren't staying away from me. They just kept on bullying. After two years (agonising years) I decided tha I was going to either get out of that ****-hole immediately, or commit suicide. You don't want to know how many times I'd come home crying, fake an illness in the morning just so I wouldn't have to go. I remember I was sitting down crying at the dinner table one night, my brother was getting tearful too, since he always protects me, he loves me, he's a very good brother. I decided that, enough was enough and my parents and I went up the school for a serious meeting. The head master "could not guarantee" he was going to be able to do anything about the idiot boys..and girls (there were girl bullies too) so i said "That's it! I'm leaving this place for good.." and so I did.

I've left school, I've been home educated for pretty much a year now, maybe less or more (not good with times and dates. Haha) I'm currently being home educated.

I've gone through hell still though, I lost my beloved dog Cody, I've had so many family issues, let's just say, I don't know how we've made it through.

I have always been looked down on, never been recognised for who I am, but do you want to know something? I've done nothing but stay strong and stand my ground, being there for other people through times of stress and pain. I will forever fight because I'm a lioness at heart.
deleted deleted
26-30
2 Responses Sep 12, 2012

Lioness at heart :)) stay strong

Yes you're strong girl, keep your chin up, those bullies doesn't know a thing *hugs*