My Inner Life...Im now 55 and married since 16 years.The more I got older the more anxieties are coming.The thinning hair...the greying hair..the fear
to loose out in life..then Im gettin jealous when an other one get s more attention .I hate to be jealous and feeling
rejected and then a long sadness crawls into me..ripps all the energy out of me....! My wife has then a hard time to lift me up again
and the anger is hard to controll.But after long talks I can controll that ugly feeling and can balance my self.As long as I can remember
mom had put me on and of to strange people and organisations to get partially rid of me because she had to earn the money
and no father was there to protect us.I love her even she is dead for 10 years now.I talk to her often..she was my first love and I have
vorgiven her for all what she has done wrong when I was little.
She married then a powerful man an I was feeling in Heaven...two beautiful blond girls he had to take care of from his first marriage
became my stepsisters and I loved them soo much and life was getting nicer...I finaly had a real family.It was like gettin out of jail
directly into a sweet life...so it seemed...to be continued.