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The Care And Keeping Of Me.

I dont know why im writing this. You know these things. You tell me these things. But today, i feel like stabbing myself at the top of my sternum with a filet knife and slowly dragging it down my chest and whatever tumbles out, tumbles out. We can just hose the mess back into the water like they did in Jaws when they cut open that shark and pulled out a license plate and other cool ****.
I have alot going on inside. I am easily readable. I do not have a poker face, but i am trying to master one. Seems i would benefit from that. I am pretty immature when it comes to handling emotional stuff. If its managable, i can take it on with finess. I have charm coming out of my pores and that usually tempers any situation and when that doesnt work, i am confuddled and i either react in a rudimentary way, where i lose it and cry like a kid or i shut down and hope it goes away on its own. I am an intense person and i frustrate people because i am very all or nothing. That attitude is not conducive to happy relationships with people. Balance is something i strive for. But i aint there yet, and i have accepted that i will always be somewhat of a tempest. I know that there are meds out there that help with stuff like this but they also impede my ability to have an ****** and ******* are one of lifes greatest joys so i will never let anything get in the way of them, balance be damned. *coughs*
Im not bipolar. i know this. ive already been tested. err..whatever its called. studied. im just an intense person. who feels stuff. big time.

I suppose what im trying to say is you should know this before you get close to me. I will test your limits because i think too much. It shows on my face. I feel like everyone..once they eventually get to know me..will leave. Coz they usually do. Except for the ones that havent.

Lilcuppa Lilcuppa 70+ 8 Responses Sep 17, 2012

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Most People I know Just Use Me :o)

Only because you let them

No Because What I want to do is only legal in Egypt.

pleaseeee do not kill yourself,iam also striving with life iam a loser in almost everything but i trust in God for I know he loves me and 1 day this will end.YOU are precious in the sight of God no matter what.1 day what you are going through will end.

"Except for the ones that havent."

Like me?

Y'know.... I'm going to remind you... again... about what your daughter said and put my own spin on it.

Stop looking over the fence. First off, the grass isn't any greener there. Second, there's PLENTY to appreciate on THIS side of the fence.

Stop worrying about people leaving and focus more on the people that haven't.

i love you Joseph.

Some of us aren't leaving & you can't make us.....so there! ;)
My sister is a bit like you (intense highs & lows, but not bipolar).....trust me, you will never master the poker face (though you may succeed in becoming slightly more balanced). Those who take the time to really get to know you will know that "your heart is in the right place" and that the good outweighs the bad.....if that's supposed to test my limits, it's an easy test. Real friends may not be many, but those that are real friends will not leave you.

Dragon? you are awesome. serious. :) you are one of those i was speakin of, so there. :)

I vote for meds.. let's turn pixie a little zombie! She would be the cutest zombie evah!

yeah but my flying and pixiedust distribution skills would be greatly diminished doncha think?

See that is the beauty of it.. I am on meds so no I don't think anything :)

I have "poker face" coming out of my kazoo right now. Have some of mine.
^^^ Lol! That sounds weird. But you know what I mean. :)

yes i do hehe! here lemme show you how it looks on meh. o_O

Beautiful... It really brings out the colour of your eyes. *grins*

thanks. now gimme a napkin i just dribbled on my chin!

*tries tea towel around lilcuppa's neck like a bib* ;)

Papapa poker face papa poker face..

Ew.

mamamamaaahhh.. *looks guilty and hides from Sonnet*

STOP IT!!! *cries & hates Lady Gaga ('cause she's a Total monger)*

oh man thats serious. *shoots Lady Monger with a Bow and Arrow and Hunger Games skill so that she stays dead*

*adores LilcuppaSkillz* :D

this...has given me an avi idea!!! *squeals*

*squeals with Cuppa*

tadaaaaaa!! :)

ut oh..its not kicked in yet hehe

I saw it though. I went to your profile... Love it! :D

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Others who left you doesn't mean they hated you. That's for sure. We just can't please everyone, some would rather like you from a distance.^^

i totally get that. im not easy to like. and there are some that i dont want to even take on the responsibility lol :)

((Big smile))

Here is someone that will not leave. xx
"I have alot going on inside. I am easily readable. [...] I am pretty immature when it comes to handling emotional stuff. [...] I have charm coming out of my pores and that usually tempers any situation and when that doesnt work, i am confuddled and i either react in a rudimentary way, where i lose it and cry like a kid or i shut down and hope it goes away on its own. I am an intense person and i frustrate people because i am very all or nothing."
o_0 This sounds scarily like me. Well, at least I'm not alone then...

no, you arent alone. *huggles*

*no

*hugs tight* I love you. :)

Joins hug.. you guys are my favoritests!

*group hug* =)

who smells of strawberry insense? :)

Must be me... I love the smell of strawberries ;)

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