Janel Inside

I have tried understand my femimine side for lot of years and the things i understand now is that one she is, (Or it is) with me for life i can't kill it and be normal. and i have reach a point where i no longer want to; i read this book Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity ... " by Julia Serano. that book has helped me and still is its become sort of like a life bible for me its a real,  honest look at TV TS CD's and the transgender movement as a whole. the point is i have a girl in side me and she wants to come out her name is Janel. though i fear what her coming of me could mean she is nevertheless coming out of me like it love it fear it weather i approve or not.  I want to even though i fear her i want to embrace Janel.

Janelwendy Janelwendy
36-40, T
3 Responses Feb 22, 2009

Like you, Janel, I have had a mixture of wanting Claire and being afraid. In the end, I have to agree with you, Sharon and Jill. I feel more honest, more "me", more alive as Claire.<br />
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There are various reasons, including my need to protect my children, that make it hard to be Claire full time now, but I am sure that one day I will. In the meantime, I am finding EP to be a wonderful, supportive environment to be me. Plus I love meeting all of you beautiful people.<br />
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I agree with Sharon. Jill has been coming out of me more and more ,and I don't try to stop it any more . And it's funny ,people seem to be drawn to me more than when I pretended to be a man . Maybe I'ts the honesty about myself ,but whatever it is it's wonderful . I think it's Jill's personality and loving nature ,she was always the best part of me.Don't be scared ,everybody's here for you. Hugs Jill

The quest that we all go through the results are not the same as we want them to be. YOu use the word NORMAL and what is normal to you may not be normal for others. I do not want a tatoo, is this normal or not. In the years of my quest I have learned that I am who I am and to hell with the others.<br />