2 Years LaterOut of no where today, I got hit with my thoughts about the termination(s).
"where did the energy go, where did the soul(s) go?"
It has been 2 years since my first termination, and 1 year since my second.
I loved both fathers, though, I think that mattered not, in my decision to terminate.
The thought continued in my brain on the train ride home... energy is eternal, where did it go?
I am in a unique place, being an only child, of a mother who terminated 5 or more times before me, her only.
Do we hold the energy, and pass it to the children we do bear?.
I think we do.
We are gonna be OK, they are patiently waiting for us to be the mothers we want to be.
They know that we want to be better for them... and they stay with us until it is time.
I know because I feel it.