A Relationship Ment For Another Time

Me and my boyfriend of 2 years met at a tattoo shop, I wasnt there for a tattoo like he was but my tongue ring. I waited for my turn as this random guy paced in front of me talking on a cell phone. Not really a norm guy either but a tattooed, goat-tee type, wear all black clothes in the middle of summer. I'm a stereotyper so I instictively think this dude is kinda weird. Well he said something about weed, it caought my ear because, I mean he was talking so openly about it. I asked him after he got off the phone why he talked so loudly and even out in public about it. Well that started a conersation about alot of things. Eventually it was my turn I got done what I had came for and as I was leaving this random guy that I had just met asks me for my number mind you I'm in my work clothes (Wendy's at the) smelling like it too. So I give it to him, and don't expect to hear a thing because this guy was weird or so I thought. about an hour later he sends me a picture of the new tattoo he had got. I kept texting him being the huge flirt that I am. About a week later we sat up a dinner date. He came to my house in an Black RX7. My youngest sister saw him outside our house first and I'm still getting ready mind you. He tells me that called him batman because of the car he was driving and said he was weird looking. I laugh about it when he tells me but anyways, we went to dinner we are talking and he tells me he is wicken. Although i dont know what it is at first it intrigues me so I ask about it, he says,"I can show you." I'm thinking ok this dude is really weird but I'll give him a shot. We go back to his house I meet his mom, dad, and niece all totally different people from him, normal. He read my cards, showed me his spell books and gave me an amethest rock. From that night, we hung out every friday night calling them SHOT NIGHT. Each friday was a different shot, always getting smashed off our ***** and spend the nights together. He always came to my work before he'd go to work asking me out almost every time. I was currently in an odd ball relationship at the time so I was between a rock and a soft spot for him. So after 6 weeks I broke down and asked him out. He said yes and told me it was about time. In the begining it was like every relationship sex all the time but I was still in high school. So only on weekends, until I hit 18 then I moved in with him finishing senior year, having a grad. party, someone invited this red head ***** that kissed him, and starting college. But once I moved in the sex slowed down and I soon learned he had other feelings for his ex who was pregnant with wht he didn't know at the time but his baby girl. What had happened was I had met him a month after he got outta jail and four months earlier they (being his ex and him) were together almost two years also. She cheated on him while he was in jail and he forgave her, she kept doing it. He figured she got knocked up by another dude. Well it's safe to say a paternity test says it's 99.8% his baby. I mean I love his daughter to death and she means the world to me. But after about four months into me and his relationship he tells me he'll never love me like he loved her, but get this he perposes two months earlier. So at this point I'm floored, I 'm thinking this isn't going to work ,what am I doing ,I'm crazy for staying. Everyone is telling me what I'm thinking. I have this weird feeling at this point when I'm with him one that feels like I'm safe no matter what happens he'll be there. Then he gets caught outside a bar for probation violation and public intoxication, I'm with him sober because I worked at the bar. So he has to spend the next couple nights in jail. We bond him out and know there is more court dates, money and lawyers gin to be involved. He's also been layed off by this time from his factory job, that was making 600 plus a week. Thats why he was at the bar drinking the unemployment money away. But after all the courts and things he ends up having to spend 2 months in jail, 3 months work release and 3 months home detention. As of couse lots of communtiy service, fines/bills/court costs, court ordered classes and still on probation till July of 2010. While he was serving his jail time I over stepped the boundaries by cheating not once not twice but three times all that he knows about and we are fighting threw it still. Trust is a hard one to over come.  At this point in time he is serving the last few days of house arrest and it sucks. He told me he still has feelings for his ex not so much love but he cares for her. That he wants a girl thats like him a death metal music lover, a black cloth wearing pale shy girl skinny and likes blood shed. Well me I'm normally an outgoing flirtasious type fun of color and smiles willing to be friends with almost anyone. His family loves me and he says he loves me but sometimes I just don't know anymore. I feel I don't know because we don't have it, the connection I'm tired of trying. His ex and I talk sometimes, she told me I try way to hard in my relationship and that when her and him were together it just worked no matter how mean she was to him it just worked. We make it work I push for perfection everyday. I know he tries but sometimes I feel like he barely cares about my feelings, I understand he wants a girl like his ex, but wants a happy, mother like girl like me at the same time. Why can't me and him just work? Somedays I think he's just going to give up on us because he thinks I don't want it, but I do I wish I could make him understand that I've been through it with him I understand how his life is and that I am here for him no matter how much I ***** and complain about almost everything. I mean it with the most love and affection.

Britny09 Britny09
18-21, F
Mar 9, 2010