Looking Forward To The Adventure..

To someone that hasn't braved enough courage to step outside, walking down the street sounds like an incredible liberation!

I keep thinking about it, and inching closer and closer but struggle getting past the door. Last week my wife was out of town for an evening and spent all day planning to make my first escape - to where I'm not really sure but I convinced myself that it was time to get out. So I spent all day planning my outfit, what shade of nail polish to wear and rushed home as soon as work was done to shower and make myself feel all clean and ready.

I got all dressed and added some makeup, and felt like I had to sit down as I felt like I had that rollercoaster tummy nervousness as I looked in the mirror. Finally after letting the nails dry, I sucked it up and worked my way downstairs and towards the door without thinking. But I just couldn't open it, I remember just standing there holding the knob and having a full-scale panic attack or something. I felt so scared about the neighbors, or my wife coming home, or whatever and just couldn't move. Then I heard one of the neighborhood kids whizzing by on a bike or something and just fled back upstairs to safety again. LOL! Such silliness I guess, but after a good long cry I put my clothes away again and sat on the bed thinking about things. Perhaps someday soon I will be ready I guess and can't wait for it.
Jaclyn9 Jaclyn9
36-40, T
8 Responses May 21, 2012

it will take as long as it takes my friend. Mine took 55 years. Yours is getting closer to a reality check soon. Be true to yourself.

Jacqueline, You mentioned that you wore pantyhose under your jeans, why not wear them everyday. I underdress, meaning I wear a bra and panties under my male clothes, everyday. I am small busted, wear a 36A bra, which I can hide under just about anything I wear. I wear alot of sleeveless T-shirts, but depending on what I am doing or where I am going, I will wear a regular button down shirt over top, but do not button it. If I go someplace "macho" I will cover up, but the rest of the time I just wear a T-shirt or a polo shirt. Try doing this first for awhile to get the feeling and get relaxed and confident about going out dressed, but I must worn you, once you do make that first walk outside, you will want to do it more amd more. I remember my first time out, I was so nervous and afaird that someone would see me, but the more I did it, the more confident I got and the more i enjoyed being out. I hope you get your wish...Best of luck !!!<br />
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Thanks everyone for the encouragement. Yesterday I took a small step and wore pantyhose under my jeans, and brought a skirt, wig and heels with me and drove to a local forest preserve. There in a secluded area I managed to change and even put on some lipstick. Then I drove around for a bit and let me tell you it was incredible letting the window open and having my hair blow around. I know this was not really going out, but it felt good and I am looking forward to doing it again soon when I can.<br />
Thank you everyone!

It is a step towards going out.

the way i did it was to bypass the "baby steps" and just got dressed and did my makeup and went out with a friend of mine. we stopped by another friends house to show her and she laughed but not because she wanted to ridicule me, because she couldnt believe how great i looked. now i go out dressed as a woman every day, day or night.... living fulltime is a dream come true for me, and if i had to go out dressed like a guy, i would feel like i was crossdressing........

I eased myself into it so there would be no sticker shock, I wear only womens jeans and panties at all times now. It was immesurabley difficult to out with my wife but the heart starts and ends there, I had to know if my best friend could handle this immense issue. We struggle some days and have loads of fun together on others. But the one thing I can say id NEVER LIE to her. Always check with her first before visiting the neighbors as well. It is her home and friends as well a yours. Always be considerate and include her in the process and it makes it so much easier in the short and long run's. <br />
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Give her time to adjust, and once I had shared with her our sex got 100% better as I no longer had hateful thoughts about my body parts, and saw it as more a sharing with her in a new manner. My learning curve once I was on hormones and learned how these nipples really react and to what. I simply applied this to her and we both gained so much. <br />
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Hugs,<br />
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It doesn't come easy to most of us so don't despair. I have found it easiest to go out in areas of town where you aren't "known". Dress then get in the car and drive to a shopping center or a park or any area of town away from neighbors and family. Then get out of the car. If you walk 10 feet from the car the first time you have done well. Doing it after dark makes it even easier. With time you will be able to do more if you want.<br />
At any rate welcome to the group and thanks for sharing your feelings.

Baby steps.... You have taken your first "baby" steps of going out in public. Not everyone can go out fully dressed on their first time... I think you accomplished a lot.... Just keep trying and one day you will find yourself outside fully dressed and not caring if anyone sees you.

There's an applicable saying, "It takes balls to be a sissy." Nothing we tv's/cd's/ sissies do comes easy. It's one step at a time, some of them baby steps & occasionally a higher one. Keep climbing & you'll find yourself on top of the world. Enjoy the trip!