Please be careful of the one you choose. I was unfortunate and picked a very beautiful girl who had NPD (narcissist personality disorder) and did not find out about it until she distroyed me mentally, emotionally, spiritually and phyically. I knew nothing about this disorder until it was to late. We were married for 39 years before I discovered the true self absorbed, liar, manipulator and cheat that she was. Even the very night before she left me, (cleaning out every bank account and lines of credit and all the good items that she wanted from the home), her words to me were. "I love you, I care about you and I'll never leave you". And then the very next day when I get home from work there's voice mail on the phone that she had left me and is never comming back. I was in a state of shock for over a month and cut off contact with everyone, my kids, my grandkids, and my own family (all that has since been resolved). She never allowed me to use the computer and now I know why. I hooked up an old one and started doing some reschearch about NPD and was floored. The more information I gathered the more I started understanding how she was incapable of love, even her own children and grandchildren. The part that hurts the most is the way she distroyed our children by her malipuatating ways. Both are now drug addicts and have severe mental issues. I am now trying to help them resolve their issues, but because of their past with this emotional vampire, I don't know if it's possible. I will however endure. She sucked the very life out of all of us and now has discarded us as if we never existed, and has moved on to her next "victim. The only contact she has had with any of us is me and that is through the lawyers because of her "entitilment", to it all, as all narcissists feel. The more information I gather the more it discribes her to a tee. Her actions, her behaviours, her quirks, her manipulations, even down to her favortite TV programs and movies. All narcissist behaviour, stemming from her abusive childhood upbringing. Her mother was a narcissist, she's a narcissist, and now I see it im my own daughter. Hopefully I can stop it before it affects my granddaughter. I am slowly starting to heal and now have an inkling of self respect for myself, but just an inkling at this point. The kaos and confusion and distruction that this person has created for an entire family is just dreadful for us while she is sweetly living her new life sucking the very existance out of her next victim, because narcissists never change because in their heads they do not see a problem. If you think of feel that you are living with someone who has NPD, I strongly advise that you get as much information as you can and then run as far and as fast as you can because the likelyhood of them changing are minamal. They are sick people who do not realize that they are sick. A narcissist only cares about one thing and that is themselves. They are incapable of loving anyone but themselves. It's always about "me, me, me" or to quote the beatles "I, me, mine". Please, please do not waste your life trying to fix things because it just doesn't work. Work on your self and seek whatever it is that you need to make yourself better and stronger so that you can cut all ties from the narcissist before it's too late. My life has been distroyed but I for the sake of my children and grandchildren will and am doing everything in my power to heal us all so that at least they might have the possibility of a brighter future minus the narcissist.
fool59 fool59
61-65, M
Aug 17, 2014