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My Husband Has the Same Fantasy

My husband has talked about this for about two years, since I was 30 or perhaps a little before that.

I was irritated at first because I thought he wanted to use that as an excuse to date other women. I now realize that isn't the case, but it's difficult for me to understand why there wouldn't be some jealousy involved.

Only recently has this idea become intriguing to me but I still haven't made the final move.

Perhaps some of you guys with this turn of mind can enlighten me as to just what is going on in his brain. I don't want it to harm our marriage.

My husband is 12 years older than me, and we have been married for 8 years. He told me he first got the idea in a dream he had just after we married but didn't get around to telling me about it. He's had me read some cuckold and hot-wife site stories. I just haven't been able to get my head around it yet.

Sara

Arapal Arapal 31-35 58 Responses Sep 21, 2008

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I had the same fantasy that I shared with my ex wife. We would talk about it ehen we had sex. I noticed how excited she became everytime I would bring it up. We finally made it come true. It was amazing for all of us. For me, it was all about pleasing her, no jealousy, just pure pleasure.

Well, there may be some truth in what he says, and fascinates for ...

When some one loves u so much, he wants u to have the greatest charm of the world.

There is no jealousy involved.

I have similar feelings too ...

May be if u guys are ever in delhi, our families can meet.

The problem I believe was his approach on this subject. I am myself trying to approach this fantasy with my wife. Key word fantasy. I don't really want to act out but am looking to re ignite sex life. Look when two people who first meet its rabbit, lust, heat, and new. So when you have been together your comfortable. Look we know women fantasize it would be terrible if you didn't and wrong. For me it's a new level of trust and bonding for us. It's also not about being with other women. Guys are extremely visual and we love it. We also know at one time we were the "new" or "strange" and remember. So think about it he is wanting to watch your beautiful body and soul being pleasured. I hope by now we are secure enough to know that this is fantasy and it is normal why not try it. I am okay with using a toy or role playing its still you two. Dress provacative and let him pick you up. My wife has a fantasy about a co worker I know it. Our bedroom is safe so why not role play. It's not that I wouldn't be jealous if it was for real but its not and she is doing it anyway in bath.

He gets aroused by watching you get pleased by another man. If you can get pleased more by the other man better yet! The feeling of being beaten by another man is a weird arousal some of us men get. We also like this because we very much do want to please are women even if it means someone can do the job better. It's arousing to see our partners overloaded with excitement ;) you should go for it;)

I think a lot of wives would consider, this if they realised how 'Focused' their husbands get on them. My interest in other women dropped like a brick ! All I can think about is her.

So true !

It has come as a bit of a revelation to me , to find out just how many married guys have this fantasy. I thought I was weird. My wife thinks I am weird. I guess I come onto the category of wanting to 'compete' for my wife and wanting her to experience intense pleasure. I am lucky in so far as I have at least had a little taste of her being a Hotwife. Years ago she worked with a young man at a bar. He obviously fancied her and the feeling was mutual. They did not have full sex but enjoyed some intimacy.<br />
I have to say that , even though it was all harmless stuff, it was the most intoxicating time of my life in terms of sex. It made me want my wife more. I could not take her for granted because i had ' competition '<br />
The thing is . . . she admitted at the time that it turned her on a lot. The reason she is very negative towards this now , is that she also had an affair with an older man . This caused some friction and tension between us because he was trying to get her to leave me. I think all those negative things are bundled together with the times she enjoyed with the younger guy. She doesnt seem to make a distinction between them. They were very very different because she kept me informed about the young guy, but she blotted me out totally when she had the affair with the older guy. That really hurt , and the scars of that hurt lingered for many years.<br />
This can be intense fun , but only if the couple work together , with the boyfriend as an outsider. Communication is everything

I believe I fall into the categories 3 and 4 of what dcuckw2b has shared. I have no doubt that he wants to enhance his relationship with you and this may be one of the ways to do this.

Same here guys. I am happily married for the last 6 years now. I am deeply in love with my wife. Initially when we got married I was very possessive about her. I would get angry if her dress had a deep neck or if her cleavage was visible. My wife has lovely 38 B Breasts. Hence, although she kept it tight, sometimes due to the sheer size, her cleavage would be visible.<br />
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I would be extremely protective about her in the market and crowded places etc.<br />
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Now over the last 1 year, I don't know how it really started, but I think I used to read desi sex stories about men with other men's wives etc. I started to suddenly realise that these stories were really turning me on and were making me wild in my sexual fantasies.<br />
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I keep imagining a well endowed male ******* my wife real hard and making her groan and moan wildly and with intense pleasure. I now want her cleavage to be visible to men. I want her to wear transparent clothes etc<br />
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When I finally mustered the courage to tell her, she was very surprised and disappointed. She kept telling me how can I speak of her like this. She comes from a well bred & a very conservative family. She has good sex with me, but cannot believe that I have such fantasies. I want her to be very wild & open about sex. I want her to enjoy and chase her desires and fantasies. I want her to talk dirty. But she is too shy and doesn't like the thoughts.<br />
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She never tells me about her sexual desires at all saying that she doesn't have any.<br />
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She doesn't like to talk about stories where she is being ****** by other men. It really ****** her off. My relation with my wife is getting strained a bit. I really thought I was the only person in this world who had a such a crazy fantasy. It is heartening to see so many share a similar dream.<br />
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I am so horny with the thoughts nowadays. I want men to look at her lovely *** and desire her. Look at her breasts and want to suck them etc.<br />
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My wife keeps reminding me about how protective and strict I was with her. What has happened to me suddenly.<br />
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I don't know how to overcome my dilemma.

Very, very similar scenario. Scary similar!!!

I think it's because you were so "protective" for so long and you didn't make her understand where you realized that someone looking was a compliment. I guarantee she did not enjoy your over bearing behavior but loved you and rationalized to her self it was love for her not you being hurtful. So for years she trained her self it was love and all of a sudden you switched gears. Think about it what does that have to say to her. I bet even when you fought about it or took it to far you said " it's cause I love you so much.......," you also made her feel bad about herself when she got attention. So your first step should have been repairing the damaged you caused first. Then admitting and proving you were wrong. Then proving you still loved her. And after making relationship strong and having her know her natural desires weren't wrong. Slowly slowly ease into your feelings and recent findings about yourself. I believe your story is sincere but you should have done some research first like EP. Good luck and you don't have to turn it into reality. Focus on you 2 only. It takes a whole different level of trust and mind set for actual reality. And most people think they are capable. Even if you don't agree with the "hot wife" life style you should be envious of trust, love and communication level it takes to do that.

I agree with the others I just want to see my wife pleasured it would be such a turn on for me. But she doesn't get it. Sounds like you to are closer to it being real then we are? Good Luck. Please add me as a friend I would like to know how this turns out.

I've had this fantasy since before we were married almost 30 years ago. We've swapped and done group and 3sums. I love the thought of my wife bieng pleased. Even though I can please ehr to a certain extent, I like watching another man please her too. Sort of, seeing her from a different perspective.<br />
I've lately also been having fantqasies about being verbally humiliated. I know I'm not that well endowed, and due to a health issue it's even less so.<br />
I think I just want to see her pleasured. Simply ****** out of her mind to the point where she can't stand it any more.

Here's a thought...As menmove further away from their late teens, their peak years, they are less capable of performing. Their metal desire continues to be strong, but, the body, by nature ins't as capable. Whe they get past their 40's, they realize that a big part of their turn on was the satisfactio of their partner. In short, they live vicariously, see ing their partner gratified the way they would like to have done. Often, they will serve as finishers, or pick up when the other party leaves, having received the psychological stimulus of seeing their partner in the throes of passion.You can probably expect the requests to intensify. If you enjoy what he is asking you to do, you have a multi-win situation. No court will support adultery claims in a divorce court if he egged you on, and encouraged this behavior. While we have been socialized to live with monogamy, people are naturally beings of varying tastes who can love many different people for different reasons. In short, many women request that a husband be present when they do this so as to validate that they have been honest about it, and the man validates that he wanted it. Other women claim they won't do it, but will privately, so as not to acknowledge that they have, but continue to talk of true experiences while talking fantasies during passion. Have fun, my dear, and don't over-think it! The women I know who enjoy this most usually find themslves discussing three or four concurrent lovers of varying ages, filling different personal needs.

I am 61 and my wife is late 50's. I would very much like to have an MFM ********* with her and watch her take another man but am not into cuck and would be devistated if she cheated on my (which I know she would never do). We have talked about if for years and though she admits she would probably enjoy it she is reluctant. I had done this with girlfriends before I was married and both enjoyed it. As to why, I have no idea but to me it is no different than watching her take a ***** but more exciting.

I would go for it, but before you make a move be postive thats what he wants. You could rule the roost here. Lock him in a CB3000 so he can't get it up, this should torment him. Then have him find a<br />
guy for you and you set the **** size you want. Dress real sexy ,short skirt, transparent thong and no bra. Have dinner and drinks then bring him home and entertain him in your bed. After your done have hubby clean you up and your lover with his mouth.

Not that I have never fantasized about another woman or a woman from my past, but really< i love the idea of just watching my wife go down on another guy and having sex with him. She plays my game but only in fantasy. We've never really had another guy in our bed, and I'm pretty satisfied just having her ask for the other guy to **** her after I've performed oral sex on her.

steveo, I think you hit the nail on the head. You both have to be into it. As for me, i am and I've done it with another guy while my boyfriend at the time watched and i could see he was really, really into watching me get it on with another guy and it made our next sex even hotter than usual. I really think it's a great thing but if both don't agree then forcing it could be bad for the relationship. here's to the right couples coupling up :)

i have the same fantasy my wife wont do it which i respect her wishes i think is something you both have to be into. i once got her to invite her ex husband round and seduce him they kissed and played a round a little but stopped short of having full sex it just arouses me thinking of her with another man

sexyjoe28-have you ever tried it? If it's such a perversion why in genesis did Adam have both Lilith and Eve?

My wife and I have been married almost 40 years and are not very active because of a physical condition she has. But during those many years we tried MW/MW and MFM. By far the most satisfying were the MFM. Why do men like to see their wife with another man? I've thought about this a lot. There is a current academic theory that it is the male need to be the last one to inseminate the female. The other guy does your wife and then you do her. Supposedly this is the reason multiple male dogs try to inseminate the same female. I dunno about all that...<br />
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For me it was seeing my wife satisfied. Almost all women have a greater capacity to have sex long than men and to see my wife enjoy herself was wonderful. We love each other very much and never cheated on each other-the other one always knew if we had a solo experience.<br />
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And there is the intangible-other men find my wife attractive and that pleases me. With all the blogs, the Experience Project and other sex based sites, men and women are discussing what they have done or wanted to do for many years. Its a personal decision that only a couple can make together. Men don't own women and being jealous of them having sex with another man is outmoded thinking.

Hi just4pleasure,<br />
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You shouldn't feel bad about enjoying your wife with another man. as long as you are both into it and she obviously is. I could watch white women being screwed by big black studs all day, the color contrast is incredible, isn't it?

Thanks dcuckw2b. At this point it is purely a fantasy that manages to arouse me very much. I find it super hot imagining my wife being taken from behind. My wife has a nice big *** and when she bends over it drives me wild. I can see a big c**k pounding her from behind and it just drives me wild. I never in my life dreamed I would have such feelings, especially regarding my wife. I really did not know what to make of it. At first I felt I had some mental issues or something. But I am realizing it is more common than I thought. I still feel my wife is a bit weirded out by all this. I don't think she knows how to really deal with it. We'll see.

Welcome to the club just 4pleasure. In my caase I fantasise about my wife with a younger guy,she meets on the Internet. I think wives would be amazed to find out how many husbands have this fantasy. Take heart though. I chat to a guy in the UK whose wife said. . Never. She was then seduced by a younger man and now has 2 regular lovers. Her Cuckold says she loves the attention and agrees she should have tried years ago . Hope for us all I guess?

My wife and I have been married for 12 years now. I am 37 and she's 33. Early in our marriage, the thought of her being with another man would be enough to cause great rage. But now, I don't know what is going on. My wife has always been on the conservative side, sexually. For less than a year now I have been having this great desire for my wife to open up more, alot more, sexually. For me, it started with a dream of her having sex with another man. In my dream, I felt the jealousy and nervousness that comes with this, but at the same time, a huge amount of sexual arousal and pleasure. It was a feeling that is undescribable. I had a problem confessing this to her at first but decided to just go all out and confess these feelings. She has opened up quite a bit. The only problem is that I keep having these thoughts of my wife being with another man. I imagine a man with a big penis, I am average, just ravaging my wife, penetrating her with great sexual passion and seeing my wife being pleased like never before. I imagine her moaning loudly as she is getting pounded by big thick **** and she is just loving every minute of it. I have actually *********** to the thought of this and brings me to a powerful ******. I get the feeling that she thinks I'm alittle off in the head being that she has always been on the conservative side. Just recently, she received an email from an old friend of hers, who happens to be black. He stated that he saw her at the store one day and noticed she had a nice ***. He had not seen her in years. He confessed to my wife that when he was having sex with his girfriend he imagined he was doing my wife doggystyle. I admit that when I read this I felt a little bit jealous and kind of jittery but also felt very aroused just at the thought of her being sexual with her old friend. Again, just reading this guy telling my wife he fantazised he was screwing my wife made me horny. I didn't tell her but I ended up in the bathroom shooting a huge load at the thought. I also have this weird desire for her to follow up with this guy to flirt with him in a sexual way. I turns me on imagining my wife getting hot and horny while sending dirty sexual emails to another man. But my wife is too close minded for this. What the heck is going on with me. I don't know but if feels real good.<br />
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Anyway, I don't know why or how I got to this sexual stage. Maybe it is just a phase or maybe it's because my wife was not being the sexual ***** I want her to be in bed. It is good not know that I am not alone. At this point, it is only a fantasy. I would love for my wife to simply unleash her wild side and be honest about her sexual tendecies and feelings and share them with me for pure sexual pleasure. I want her to be my secret little ****. But I'm still feeling confused though.

My wife and I have been married for 12 years now. I am 37 and she's 33. Early in our marriage, the thought of her being with another man would be enough to cause great rage. But now, I don't know what is going on. My wife has always been on the conservative side, sexually. For less than a year now I have been having this great desire for my wife to open up more, alot more, sexually. For me, it started with a dream of her having sex with another man. In my dream, I felt the jealousy and nervousness that comes with this, but at the same time, a huge amount of sexual arousal and pleasure. It was a feeling that is undescribable. I had a problem confessing this to her at first but decided to just go all out and confess these feelings. She has opened up quite a bit. The only problem is that I keep having these thoughts of my wife being with another man. I imagine a man with a big penis, I am average, just ravaging my wife, penetrating her with great sexual passion and seeing my wife being pleased like never before. I imagine her moaning loudly as she is getting pounded by big thick **** and she is just loving every minute of it. I have actually *********** to the thought of this and brings me to a powerful ******. I get the feeling that she thinks I'm alittle off in the head being that she has always been on the conservative side. Just recently, she received an email from an old friend of hers, who happens to be black. He stated that he saw her at the store one day and noticed she had a nice ***. He had not seen her in years. He confessed to my wife that when he was having sex with his girfriend he imagined he was doing my wife doggystyle. I admit that when I read this I felt a little bit jealous and kind of jittery but also felt very aroused just at the thought of her being sexual with her old friend. Again, just reading this guy telling my wife he fantazised he was screwing my wife made me horny. I didn't tell her but I ended up in the bathroom shooting a huge load at the thought. I also have this weird desire for her to follow up with this guy to flirt with him in a sexual way. I turns me on imagining my wife getting hot and horny while sending dirty sexual emails to another man. But my wife is too close minded for this. What the heck is going on with me. I don't know but if feels real good.<br />
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Anyway, I don't know why or how I got to this sexual stage. Maybe it is just a phase or maybe it's because my wife was not being the sexual ***** I want her to be in bed. It is good not know that I am not alone. At this point, it is only a fantasy. I would love for my wife to simply unleash her wild side and be honest about her sexual tendecies and feelings and share them with me for pure sexual pleasure. I want her to be my secret little ****. But I'm still feeling confused though.

Sara, I understand how you feel because as a husband who enjoys this type of sexual play, I too had the same questions about myself. I've been with my wife for 20 years and we're both madly in love with one another. There are many factors to this that cannot be quickly answered, nor should they be categorized as 'weird' or 'abnormal'. Each individual has some things that are turn ons for them, which may not turn another person on, so I believe we must start at this point. The answer to your 'jealousy' question is simple, to me- he is totally secure in his relationship with you. The fact that he's turned on by you being pleasured by another man shows, not just his pleasure, but your's as well shows he's not interested in just 'getting off' for himself. If you are both secure in your marriage I advise you to take it slow, purge the negativity about this matter, and let things evolve naturally. If it happens, enjoy the moment and talk to one another after the fact with total honesty.

shiken. . . No i havnt . My wife would have no interest. She is not interested in Sex. However I have chatted to other guys whose wives have chatted on line with guys,mostly married ,so they were happy that it stayed on that level. It's the only way I can think of for a wife who may be willing to play out the fantasy ,from a distance.

Dcuckw2b...<br />
The online thing doesn't feel right. Have you tried it?

Sheiken. . . Have you tried asking your wife to just play at it from a safe distance ie Text flirting or even Web camming with guys from a site like AFF

Sheiken . . . You have articulated my thoughts exactly. I feel the same way. I want my wife to experience intense pleasure. I have no desire for humilliation. I see it as a gift to the one I love.

I have been fantasising about seeing my wife with another man. At first my desire surprised me, but I understand my desire better now. I love my wife, and I don’t want her to cheat on me. I don’t want her to have deep feelings for someone else. But love and pure sex are not the same thing. <br />
I love it when se is feeling really sexy and turned on. I would like to see her like that more often, and for her to have a stronger sex drive. I love watching her in sexy clothes, and during sex, I am probably what you call a voyeur. Thinking of her teasing me and someone else at the same time, doing everything she can to seduce us both, and being extremely aroused herself, is what turns me on. I would be proud to see some other man want to xxx her, and to satisfy her as I get to watch, or maybe join in. <br />
For me it is not about wanting to have sex with others, it is about her. It is not about wanting to be humiliated.<br />
We have talked about it, and she gets turned on by the fantasy. I would like to make it reality, but don’t know how it would be possible, and I doubt she would have the courage to go thru with it. Did any of you ladies make it happen, and how was your experience?

I have read quite alot on this issue, and this is the first post that basically hit the nail on the head for me. This is perfect explanation of how I feel as well. Thanks Sheiken!!!

I'm a white woman who loves black men. As to why your husband wants you to have sex with black guys and watch....I think the color contrast turns him on. I have a friend at work, an older white guy and we confide in each other and i told him when I started to date black men and he got very excited and said he used to try to get his wife to do it but she wouldn't. He then asked if i'd be willing to let him watch me and a black guy. I can be a bit of an exhibitionist but that seemed kind of weird so I said no and we're not such good friends. i guess he just has to watch interracial videos. so why did that turn him on? Not really sure but it's a fact that your husband is not alone. BTW, i fully recommend black guys...such a tremendous turn on.