Dear Gold Diggin Driver..

Dear Gold diggin driver,
 
       Hi, how are ya?.. yeah, I can see ya over here from my car.  Yeah, diggin deep for gold are ya?  honey, I hate to tell ya this buuuut it's not likely to be found up your nose.   Hey I don't know for sure though, I mean as far as ya got yer finger up there, you may have damn well lost your gold ring and are in the middle of searching for it now.. if that's the case.  Please, by all means.. don't let me stop you.  Hey look, we're at at stop light.. ya got a good 90 more seconds to keep surveying.  Ignore the fact that you're windows are definitly not tinted.. oh but they're up so that must mean I'm not able to see through them since their shut.. I mean really it is glass.. difficult to hear through must be the same affect with sight as it is sound right?.  ummm... yeah about that.. yeah not workin for ya.. I can still see ya.  

       Ok yes yes, I know! I don't havta watch.. but it's like a train wreck over there.. I can't not look.  I did, I really tried my damndest not too.  I glanced and saw how far you were excavating, and looked ahead again.. but out of shock and awe at your sheer talent of not bringing blood I looked again.. oh! damn you were really gettin after it.  But I used control.. I didn't look again.   I'm unaware what exactly you did with the great green bounty once I'm sure you claimed it.  maybe it's layin on a tissue or napkin.. maybe rolled up and flicked in the floorboard or some ones car beside ya.. mutha hubbard I best not find it on mine.  Maybe it's wiped on your jeans or the underside of your seat.  Maybe.. and gawd forbid.. but maybe you recycled it.. eeewww finger lickin good.. huh.  bleh! but anywhoozles..

       It's not that you were diggin, so I'm not tryna pick or point fingers here (bahlieve you me, I'm not).. we all do it, I prefer using a tissue instead of my finger but whatever gets your rocks off dude.  It's that you were Drivin and Diggin.  That's not safe for you or anyone around you.  And gold diggin driver.. I care, That's why I'm writing you this letter.. it's from the heart my dear.  Ya just can't drive around willy nilly witt yer finger up yer nose babes.. it's not safe.  What if someone in front of you had got distracted by the view in their rear view mirror and stopped short.   Well hunny forget the seatbelt savin ya, because your air bag just went off shovin that finger straight into your brain.  We don't want that for you, death by booger.  That's no way to go man.      


Sincerely,
Sunshine

   
whisperingsunshine whisperingsunshine
31-35, F
19 Responses Apr 22, 2011

lol... haha.. liked that now did ya? yay!!

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG ya got me rollin, chicky!!!!

lol awe shux

Love it. You're funny.

thanks.. I was just BS-ing around is all

*takes a bow* muah.. thanks hun

Queenie.. lol, ya know you think schtuff like this when you see it girl.

Lol.. have fun :)

Good idea.. little fingers can get in there and root around. Rofl.. nasty

my daughter picks mine..... Ive trained her..... Is that child abuse?

ahh.. still gives me the willies! lol

Lol.. I had a Grandma that used Bobby pins to clean her ears with.. she freaked me out every time she did that. "Grandma no! Yer gon bust an ear drum" lol

Joel! U picked a good one lol.. love ya man.. muah!

Of all the stories I could have "picked" to read! OMG Sunshine! you are so funny, girl! Love you! Mwah!

Yeah guess not alot of people lined up to give u the pickin finger .. but the line I bet is long to give u the other finger.. lol

ST - you're a digger aren't ya.. you even got the pinky nail to prove it huh? lol

rofl!! omg, what if they got mad and sh!t... lol. <br />
<br />
Officer - "what started the road rage"<br />
TW - "a booger"<br />
<br />
rofl!!

LOL!! That's soo nasty! I usually try to get their attention and then act like I'm diggin too. You know, the bent finger trick to make it look like my finger is up my nose. But I make a ridiculous face while I'm doing it. They usually turn beet red, and I'll bet they think twice next time.

Rofl! Smack em in the elbow rofl dude I know but ya just can't not look and be like hellooooo?! Really? ! Lol