My Little Angel

Dear my unborn child,

I am so sorry that you will never be able to take your first breath, feel the sun on your face, or be able to know what it feels like to live. I am tearing myself apart about this.. The doctors all said that the complications that went on was caused from my drug addiction and the withdrawals that I experienced during the pregnancy. It is all my fault my sweet baby. I wish I would of been clean when I got pregnant with you, but sadly I cant go back and do anything different. I want you to know that I love you more than I love myself. I am sorry again. I feel like I have commited the worse sin there is.. Which in my eyes I did.

I am tearing myself up over losing you, I dont know what to do anymore. Before I found out that you wouldnt make it, my whole life was getting ready to have you, making sure that I had everthing I needed for you. Now, I have nothing to live for you were what I always wanted a child that I could be a mother to that I never had. Baby I just want you to know that you did have a mommy that loved you. I may not have been prefect but I was trying for you..

Love,
The mother youll never met..

P.S. I will always love you, you have a special place in my heart and always will.
imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty
18-21, F
1 Response May 22, 2012

Oh my... I know you were so conflicted about your friend getting you, and then not even being sure if you WERE pregnant, and... if I'm interpreting your post correctly... my deepest condolences...