I Want To Write My Thoughts
The emotions have been the same for the past couple of days. Jealousy, confusion, doubt. Yet, I don't want to dwell on them for too long. Dwelling on the negative emotions is bad for me-- in the past I have dwelt on negative emotions to the point of not doing anything and being depressed. I must work hard everyday to make sure I will not become the person that I've been. And so far, I've been successful. Emotions must be controlled... I will not let them get the best of me... I sincerely wish that I could feel less. I wish I didn't give a damn so much. I wish I didn't give a damn about making others happy, about whether the people I know and love will stay with me forever despite who I will become....
Despite these emotions, I must remain functional. I must get things done. I must not sit and feel sorry for myself all the time. Making others happy makes me happy. Yesterday, I was at Wal-Mart, in line for checking groceries. I decided to help an old lady put her groceries on the counter, and I even asked her if I could help her load into the car. The checkout lady said I was so sweet...
What struck me was that the old lady seemed alone... Where was her spouse? Dead? She's old already-- why is no one helping her carry things?
There are things in this world that need more help than I do.
I pushed her grocery cart for her and made sure she crossed the street okay.... I made random fair-weather conversation with her. I found out that she lived with her daughter and had one grandchild from that daughter... She had diapers in the cart and she said that was for a baby shower she was attending. The car she drove was a 1989 Honda van... It was so tiny.... She said that her muffler broke off and she needed a new one...
Despite age, despite how alone are, despite what goes in our lives, there are other lives going on as well, and there are people who need to be helped every single day... I'm thankful that there are other people there who need help, but it is an excuse for me to stop feeling sorry for myself and help others. And by helping others, sometimes, I see a little bit of myself in them. At least, if I can't help myself, I can help others.
Despite these emotions, I must remain functional. I must get things done. I must not sit and feel sorry for myself all the time. Making others happy makes me happy. Yesterday, I was at Wal-Mart, in line for checking groceries. I decided to help an old lady put her groceries on the counter, and I even asked her if I could help her load into the car. The checkout lady said I was so sweet...
What struck me was that the old lady seemed alone... Where was her spouse? Dead? She's old already-- why is no one helping her carry things?
There are things in this world that need more help than I do.
I pushed her grocery cart for her and made sure she crossed the street okay.... I made random fair-weather conversation with her. I found out that she lived with her daughter and had one grandchild from that daughter... She had diapers in the cart and she said that was for a baby shower she was attending. The car she drove was a 1989 Honda van... It was so tiny.... She said that her muffler broke off and she needed a new one...
Despite age, despite how alone are, despite what goes in our lives, there are other lives going on as well, and there are people who need to be helped every single day... I'm thankful that there are other people there who need help, but it is an excuse for me to stop feeling sorry for myself and help others. And by helping others, sometimes, I see a little bit of myself in them. At least, if I can't help myself, I can help others.