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All In

The hazy blue neon sign sputters and flashes its iconic message. 

Black weathered boots trudge silently over a cemetery of wooden planks stained with dried vomit from those who were unable to stomach another day.

He buys his courage – Scotch, neat.

The waitress has told him the menu is precise.  No sharing of entrees.  Tonight’s special is vertigo, cowardice and rice pilaf.  Steamed broccoli can be substituted for bravado if he is so inclined. He asks for an extra napkin.

And still... damn you!!  Damn you to hell!!  I await your arrival!  I pretend you're not there while the smoke of your fake cigarette stings my eyes and your daggers stab my belly.

Just last night you made love to me as you plucked my integrity and balanced it on the tip of your Romanesque nose.  I licked my wounds and lay in moist cool grasses, never recognizing the sound of your footsteps. Your black boots shuffle through the weave like a thief in the night, parting the fabric of my reality like silken veils shredded by the cruel north wind. 

I thought there was no harm, so I truthfully replied.  No harm!  Truthfully!  You tasted me in that moment, and salivated. That was my price!  That was my price!!

In the season of my madness my dimensions are a fractured kaleidoscope.   Geometric forms without cohesiveness, tumbling into chaos.

And still…I curse another day!!  I lie here in these cool moist grasses longing, begging, for you to bring me back from certain death. 

The price no longer matters…I’m all in….damn you…damn you to hell…
Vignette Vignette 51-55, F 3 Responses May 19, 2012

Your Response


"In the season of my madness my dimensions are a fractured kaleidoscope. Geometric forms without cohesiveness, tumbling into chaos."<br />
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You should write more. This is raw and real and intense. <br />
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I love this.

Coming from one who writes so well, I take that as a high compliment. Thank you!! :-)

This is totally intense. I will probably come back and read it a few more times....I love reading stuff that forces me to stop and think around the corners.. of the words....:)

Aw, thank you, Sie!! :-) This is more the real me, and I actually culled some of the intensity out of this piece, for fear I would scare people. I rarely expose myself in this manner publicly. Tonight is a rare exception, and tomorrow I may regret it when I wake up, but for tonight, I want to say the things that have been on my mind. Thank you for reading and for supporting me, my dear. :-)

I love it when folks post the stuff that honestly "lives" in them. I don't think you have a single thing to regret with this piece.... Words like this make those who can "think" dig deep and do just that...think and those who can't wouldn't be reading something like this anyways!! :D Thanks for letting us see a part of you that lives deep in there....Sometimes the very best of who we are we keep the furthest away from folks cause sometimes people are NOT careful with delicate things...

So true, Sie, so true! You nailed it. :-)

Love the imagery throughout the piece, and even though it is nowhere, I was there in the midst of it all, encouraged by that which was discourage and lost in the moment where and when it could have made sense, but didn't.

Good! I was afraid towards the end it was maybe starting to make some sense! :-)