My Life Story

Hi :) I guess you all know me very well by now but let me tell you something more abotu my life. First thing that comes to my mind while thinking about life are problems I had and still have. I remember I had nice childhood, well not so nice, my father beat up me and my brother when we didnt behave well but except that we had nice childhood and me and my brother (2years older) were best friends but how grew up we started to separate more and more. Later at the end of my Primary school problems started to came. I was really lonely, without friends at school, every Saturday I would be home while kids from my class would all together go out. I thought it was because my look and I ate less and less. I remember it wasn't so dangerous then as it was a year ago because highschool started and I made new friends. But problems stayed somewhere in my head. I was always a goodstudent, I went on many piano competitions (i won second place in Italy 2 years ago) and I always gave my best but then depression hit me again harder than first time. I lost all my friends, well couple of them stayed but I didn't want them, I was pushing them away. And there was me, alone, with anorexia, bulimia, laxatives and cuts all over my body. I remember I was lying to my parents every single day about what I ate at school, I remember wearing long sleeves or using my cat as excuse for my cuts. I wanted to have 80 pounds so badly. At my worst time, I wasn able to eat only one bite of food without starting to cry because I was scared I will get fat. But since last year I am on recovery. I relapsed couple times but each time I relapsed I got stronger and now I am really good :) After 4 yeas of battling I can finally say I don't feel guilty after eating. I can eat without taking laxatives after. I am happy. I finally don't want 80 pounds. I finally think that musclse are moer beautiful than bones. I am not regreting those 4 years. I learned so much about life and myself in those hard years. I feel grown up and I am only 18. Well anyway, Ithink that is my life story. I am alive, I have music, family, friends, I started to get nice abs too ;) I appreciate life. I have dreams I am planning to make true.
I would like to say that recovery is possible and life is beautiful. You just have to look and accept yourself. Because you know what? God makes no mistakes ;) You are all beautiful my dear friends, don't forget that, and if you ever forget that, I will remind you.
(thank you all for being here for me while I needed you most)


thepianogirl thepianogirl
18-21, F
6 Responses Jan 20, 2013

you are one beautiful girl, i wish you the best for your recovery :)

Best wishes as you move forward with your life... If you would permit, I think I would like to build a small campfire under the stars and hold you close and show you some of the wonders of the visible universe.....

Have you seen a therapist about your cutting ?

Thank you so much for sharing your personal story. I am so glad to hear that your are on the other side and making progress in the right direction. You are a very beautiful person inside and out. That much is clear.

Beautifully written, my Friend. You wrote volumes in a small spac and was very inspirational.

Hi Pina!

Bravo little one! I am very proud of you and I love being your friend! Your story is similar to mine and I will write about it and post on my page for you to read. My story is different and yet similar to yours and I hope it makes you smile when you read it. When I post it I will email you and I want your comments. Oh yes, your story is simple and yet beautifully written!

Nakednfree

oh thank you very much :)
i will read your story ;)