Forgive And Forget


What is this dead thing my mind is playing with? 

Tossing it and shaking it like a wild dog who has found his prey....

Whipping this blackened corpse from side to side, trying to bring it back to life.....

To give it a second chance, a moment to apologize, a chance to resurrect itself and walk among the living instead of creeping around in the dark causing pain and confusion.... my mind will not let go.

The air is heavy with hurt and anger.  Fetid smells permeate the room as cruel words swirl through the memory.  Words I fear were spoken from your heart.... words that can never be taken back.  Words that cut my loved ones like a rusty knife.

This putrid corpse was buried months ago.... aah, but someone dug it up, shoved it in my face, made me face it once again. 

As the excuse of addictions and depression roll lightly off the monsters tongue, the odor of vomit fills the air around me....  I cannot breathe for the stench of it and my heart screams in pain and sadness as my mind wants to lash back and make you hurt. 

I am so tired...

I don't want to look at it...

I cannot think right now...

The hurt and anger have won this fight.  Those decaying words, so easily spoken, ring in my ears and sting my soul.  I cannot fight it today....

But you will never be allowed to see these tears I cry as I dig the hole deeper and place the stone with care.  You will never hear the prayer I say as I walk away leaving you in the hands of others.  I can forgive, but the grave of your cruelty is always revisited, never to be forgotten.

 


giggles4488 giggles4488
56-60, F
17 Responses Jul 30, 2010

And I am lucky to know someone like you, who speaks from the heart and lives his name....TrueSpoken. Thank you for your comment, this moment in my life was truly a lesson learned. Lol, yes I am fond of saying many things, but here is something just for you.... I wish you to find that path in this new year, to be a "mist-walker" in a world of sleepwalkers. The mist-filled path teaches us that the road of life can be a road of peace, awe, and great wonders. It reaches out to the Celtic soul and whispers to follow.... listen closely and you will hear her whispering to you. One doesn't have to be pagan to find and love the mist-filled path. Blessed be ......

Without knowing the story behind the story, your words have moved me. This story more than any other of yours that I've read. <br />
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I consider myself lucky to know you...in some small way. P&L (as you are fond of saying)<br />
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TrueSpoken

Aaww, thank you so much :) I do count you as my friend and the poem is lovely. I'll put it in my "heartbox" where all my good memories are kept to pull out when I need them most. Hugs and blessings for your day ... J~

Thank you Miss Chelly , you are a dear friend :) Time has passed since I wrote this and the hurt is healing. Blessed be... ((hugs))

Some people just don't know how to treat others & good people don't deserve this bad treatment.sorry to hear this big hug

That's so true Destiney24, the hurt can run so deep it is difficult to even forgive and it makes forgetting impossible. ((hugs)) and blessings to you.

Yes dear friend, sometimes we have to protect our heart for our own good and the good of those around us. I wish with all my heart I could help this person but it isn't possible and so must let them go. You are so right, things cannot go back to how they were and distance is necessary. As I told Miss WIB, I hope his life turns around and he gets the help he needs, I wish him no ill but I cannot forget. My prayer for you is a peaceful, happy life, filled with love. {{{Hugs}}} Blessed be.... J

Thank you WIB, I appreciate your good wishes. I always try to work through a disagreement and disregard a personal attack, but this person lashed out at me using my husband and neither he nor I will tolerate such behavior. I've put it behind me now and hope this person's life turns around for the good. Blessings of love and light to you.

This is very beautiful and very powerful giggles. I don't know all the story behind your words, although I can piece together some of it. I wish you well to find contentment and strength with your friends and family.

:) Done!

BEYOND GOOD! Call!

OMG I love you Sis... I can see you spitting on that grave and giving the stone a kick for good measure! (((hugs))) to you too. My family means everything to me and that's why it hurt so much. I didn't care what he said about me, it was cruel to bring my husband into it. As for giving a second chance.... I gave that and more.... I'm done. Now, enough on that subject, how are the newlyweds?? :)

I read that supposed apology.... BAH! I didn't believe a word of it. I agree with Trpr, sounds like he is just sorry for himself and wants his friends back. You're nicer than I am, I would SPIT on the grave before I'd say a prayer or wish him well. La famiglia comes first and as far as I'm concerned he and his acid tongue can go to hell. (((((((HUGS)))))))

Thank you, what you have written means the world to me. I won't forget the things he said about you and my family, he can't hurt me anymore so do not worry about that. The saddest part of this is the ones who make an excuse for him and say he was talking through a haze, he didn't mean any of it. Aah, I beg to differ, I have found this one thing to be true.... that is the moment when you hear someone who continually lies and hides behind a fascade speak the truth. You find out how they really think. He hurt you and he hurt my sisters, for that, he will never be forgiven. I know that we should forgive for our own sake, but I'm not at that point yet. I'll get there because I have you to help me and you are all I need. Sad to say, he doesn't have someone like you in his life showing him what a real friend and a real man is. He will NEVER understand.

It isn't often that you write something so deeply moving here for all to see. I know how much you cared but there is a time, like Miss Alteredego says, to place the flowers and walk away. You gave him a second chance, and a third, but it was no use. I've read the supposed apology and I didn't see any remorse towards those who were hurt the most. I saw a person who feels sorry for himself because he lost his friends and family on here. I saw the tears and I heard your prayer, dear woman, and he has no idea what a good friend he has thrown away with his cruel and calculating ways. His hope is that "forgiven AND forgotten" will be on everyone's mind but MY hope is that you will never forget so that he will never hurt you with his words again. I could easily rip his tongue out for the thoughts he tried to put in your head. You are loved.. never forget that!

I am trying. Thank you Miss AE {{{{hugs}}}}

Thank you Sandalphon. Blessings to you :)