Bodies

This man knows that all women are beautiful, and there are countless like me. There are too many jerks out there as well. Too many men look in the mirror and see Chuck Norris. I, like many men, DO NOT want to see fake breasts, but adore what is next to them. I am so turned on by a confident woman...attitude is everything, and personality rules. mwlthw

you are right joelisa.iwas an abuse child.molested at 10 and raped at 12.aborted my child by force not doctor and baby foetus down toilet bowl and almost die.ran away at 16 after secondary school to my schoolmate's home.had 2 children by 21 and had to work 3 jobs to feed mine and his family.couldnt take it run again.this time to an engineer.thought life would be better but instead the greatest nightmare began.physical, sexual and mental torture started,had 3 children.i was a maid,chaffuer,tutor,cook and a prositite to him.i was his slave.for my children i stay for 27 yrs.finally divorce him and hell breaks out.thought i finally had freedom and i was doing well in my real estate career.but i enciunter the worst of the worst.here come a man who not only cheated my money almost made me a bankrupt and had AIDS.i am truly blessed.i dont have AIDS.can you believe it. he force me to marry him because of his young children.he died 5 yrs ago and left behind **** to clear.then i thought i am free again but illness started.adrenal gland malfunction follow by diabetes,cholesteral,HBP,and depression,on top of osteoarthritis of 25yrs.despite all these i am slill alive because i still find joy in helping people,positive and always believe GOD have created me for a reason and my "misfortune" are his training for me.he finally sent me a helper 12 yrs my jr.as my soulmate.i am now really free.truly grateful and greatly blessed.i still have my challenges daily but i always find answers to them.

thank you novemberbaby, I couldn´t agree more. I still need to actively be kind in my thoughts to myself, al those messages we are given about not being good enogh the way we are are so cemented inside of me. mostly I´m ok now as an adult, but if I grew up now as a teenager I´m sure it would be extreamly difficult because this culture teaches us to hate ourselves.

I was raised in our society with it's confusing and often cruel messages. I learned about buhlemia from my Mother when I was 7 years old, far too young to understand what it was or know it's name. My Mother was a news anchor in Oklahoma City where, like many of us, the pressure to live up to what society deems "perfect" was a constant companion, a constant worry. My step father was not a well man and he was, most of the time, a tyrant. When I got up in the mornings, before school, he had an excercise routine that I was expected to perform, because I was a "fat child, a fat pig, " and "lazy." It was my reality until I was 14 when he and my Mother split up. I was young, 5'2 and 114lbs. I was not fat...but I felt ugly and unacceptable. I was blessed with a beautiful figure and a beautiful face. I was also very smart. What I wasn't blessd with was a stable healthy family. I had no guidance. My Mother was "emotionally unavailable" and still is today.

All I knew at that time was that my step-father was GONE. He had lorded over me, controlling what I ate, controlling what I watched on TV, controlling what I said, what I did, who my friends were, even how I walked and carried myself. And yes, he was a ********* on top of it all. After 8 years under the excruciating control of that man, I was nothing less than ELATED to be free of him. But a very basic part of my nature is simple rebelliousness and there had never been a more perfect time in my life to explore that. I snuck out my window at night, I took my Mother's Corvette out for joy rides, I stole beer from the refrigerator and got drunk with my best friend, and I ate whatever I wanted. I ate a lot. I also stole marajuana from my Mother's purse..smoked it and sold it for $10 a joint behind the school gymnasium. I was also a cheerleader, an honor roll student, and so depressed that I was suicidal. By the time I was 15, I was out of control, I was overweight, and I wanted to die. But do you know, out of all the horrible things that I was dealing with, my weight bothered me the most!? I had, on a single occasion, loaded my Mother's .22 and held it to my temple just one decision away from oblivion....but the size of my thighs was even more devastating to me than suicide!? I heard my step father's voice..as I do today occasionally saying those horrible words to me. "Pig! Fat ***!" But I also watched MTV and had a subscription to Seventeen Magazine. I knew what I was "supposed" to look like..at least what our society said girls should look like. Not one woman in my life ever said that what we see on TV isn't reality, that we're all made differently, unique, and absolutely beautiful just the way we are.

It's everywhere and even worse 20 years later. I am laying my guts out here in front of you now because if YOU are the parent, Aunt, Uncle, Teacher, or an influence to a girl in this world, she NEEDS you to tell her what I never heard. She NEEDS you to make her understand that she is special so that she can, as she grows, love herself for who SHE is. If you succeed, she will be less likely to allow other people to treat her with disrespect. She will WANT to take care of herself in body, mind, and spirit. She will never even consider looking into the dirty depths of a public toilet while jabbing a finger into her throat to purge her guilt and shrink her thighs to conform to impossible standards.

Changing our society is not something we can do immediately. But we can, at least, give our girls a solid foundation and a healthy REALISTIC idea of who they are.

You might think that in todays world women could say "take me as I am or not. If you can not acept me then I will move on" What is the number one plastic surgery that women get? Breast augmentation. Yeesh! As a guy I am seriously conflicted. LOL But seriously, for the average size woman, I doubt that increasing her bust size will lead to happiness.

Be happy, Accept your self as you are. love yourself. You will find someone else who will love you for yourself.

i agree.women need to accept themselves for who they are.and realise that what's on the inside is way ore important than the outside.some things can be changed,some can't.putting yourself down embarasses those who think highly of you..YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL,that's what God says.