You're Special To Me...

I've found that this is a phrase that often scares people. I've recently scared someone with it. Maybe it was the way I expressed it (overly passionate, which I've been known to be lately). Or maybe because deep down, it carries certain expectations for people. Pressure to reciprocate, wondering what other motives the person has, etc. Baggage from the past has an amazing ability to add up and block the real meaning of the words "you're special to me." Sometimes, though, it's worth it to take the plunge and say it, acknowledging the consequences it may have, either positive or negative.

kiuz645 kiuz645
31-35, M
3 Responses Aug 9, 2010

I've been married for fifteen years and this phrase is something my husband has said to me on cards and on a few other occasions. I have to say I have negative feelings about it, for a few reasons (none of which are that is has ever scared me). So it could be that you're interpreting the response wrong. I think this phrase is something that has a very limited period of time when it's good to use. If you use it too early, you do risk scaring away your potential partner, friend, mate. To me, it's the kind of phrase that says, I'm very interested in you and care about you. However, when used too late in a relationship, it seems too vague. Compare and contrast the difference between "you're special to me," and "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone," or "you are the most important thing in my life," or "I'm completely and totally in love with you." What does "special" mean exactly? It has a commitment-shy feel to it, to me, like something you might say before you're quite ready to say, "I love you," or something that might be followed by the word "but..."

@Compelling:<br />
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I feel this a lot too. I have to confess, too, that sometimes it makes me angry when someone says that I'm special to them. My first urge is to scream and call them a complete bald-faced liar, then throw the nearest heavy ob<x>ject at them. Yes, I have some issues...<br />
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So maybe deep down, I ask from people what I know I cannot provide, i.e. a calm, receptive response to the phrase "you're special to me."

I think that sometimes the people it 'scares' are the people who don't feel they deserve it. Insecurity and guilt, I guess, because we all know there's a dark side in each of us and some believe having that side revokes their 'special' status or the fact that they could be loved in spite of their faults