By His Grace and Love Am I Still Hear

To whom it is meant to see and read. I humbly come befor you speaking what I hold as the truth in my life and in my Spiritl. I was confronted today by an x-girlfriend that I had lost contact with for over 12 years. I have pined over what happen to her for quit sometime now. I found in my self whenevr I would get lonely  would reminess about us beinng together. Funny how you never know what you have, until you have lost it comes to play. I finnally found her. after all these years and I knew she was married, and that she has three kids now. I asked if I could see her. with no hinden agenda just to clear the lost years up. Heres where it gets good. I was gently and firmly reminded of her curent state, and also of my past , and how she would never ever consider being with someone like me due to my past track record. We are talking truely the lady and the tramp style of living we were. I was a drug dealer, alcohalic, sex fene somking dope kind of a guy. I had an atemped murder right in front of her. cheated on her with a minor, gave her a sexually transmitted desease form sleeping with a relative. As she so gently reminded me.  this was over fiftenn years ago. I once again was remined of what I had left her with. the damaged that I cause seemd to be overwhelming. I apologized once again for all that I had done. She said that it was not needed, but this is not the first time we have had this type of conversation. maybe twice since we have never seen each other just over the phone. As She reminded me that she was not the same little woman that I once knew. She never blink an eye thinking that just maybe I may have changed. Well it did not matter to her weather I changed or anyone that she may have told the story too. No one knew that God had got a hold of me and had Changed my life around. That i stop drinking sleeping around dealing drugs or even smoking dope. who cares they she only remember what I left her with. One big pile of it. I started to feel so unworthy of what God had even done, so I ponded it for a while. then I came to the relization. Gods awsome mercy on my life was before me. All of the things she once knew me as was behind me. God had lifted me out of the darkest place in my life. No matter what poeple remember of me. I was forced to remember what He did on the Cross for me. For whom the Lord set free he is free indeed.  I became so thankful. that I survived and she did aswell,  I give all the glory to the Lord. She took all the credit for survivng me.  We are all sinners in need of a savior. I could have died in my sins, but He loved me enough to bring understanding of  His free gift of salvation. Which I humbly recived.   I guess I am trying to say never let anyone bring you back from where God has brought you from. Remember who you are in Christ Jesus. God Blessing on you always.