This Life Of Mine !

Life is beautiful... just that the human being always destroyed the life that they had.

I question myself a lot about what I really want in my life. My life has never been easy as I was brought up with lots of rules, regulations and boundaries. Now that I have grown up, educated, successful, responsible human being and beautiful woman, I am still not happy about a lot of things. Sometimes I wonder if this is really fate. Every one of us has a story to tell, some live in a good life and some live in a bad life. That is why we human say “Life is not perfect". So today will be my story, just a rough summary about my life. Today, I am an adult, there so many things I have to think about, like my future, what kind of man I want in my life, my finance, my work, my family, my mum, my expenses, my transportation, my retirement and etc.

The biggest impact I will face or encounter is as details:

1. Money
2. Family Problem
3. Love
4. Retirement

Let me begin, money has always been an issue for me, being a responsible daughter, part of my salary will be given to my mum monthly, since I was 13 yrs old I wanted to be independent even though my father disapproved it but manage to work part-time at last. I have to focus on both my work and my studies. That was my first salary I have ever received and to have so much money on hand is way too much for me at that point of time. I was so happy, I gave abit to my father and my mum, they were very proud of me. I can see on my father’s face, how grateful he is to me. Not only that I manage to get good grades in my studies. So now, I on my own, I have to pay so many things and it kinds of stress sometimes. So no choice you have to work like a dog in order to survive.

Family problem, I used to be naughty girl but not anymore, I have grown mature and I learnt from mistake, everyday life is a learning process but sometimes when it is not your problem, because of “the name Family” you are involved in their problem, which I hate it. Listening to my mum’s nagging and seeing my sister creating problem makes me want to get my own apartment or leave the country for good and blessing. I hate my sister because she is so stupid, her attitude sucks and she is so naïve. There are many times that she finds fault towards me, if as though I have done bad things to her. She does not take my advice as she prefers outsider or her stupid boyfriend. Irresponsible young girl, arghhh I hope she will change, feel like slapping her face many times to make her realized that life is not simple and you have to work hard and stop thinking about love, man and get settle. Look girl you are still young, too young to know a lot of things. Open your stupid brain! It ****** me off, and every time I want to get out of the house, my mum would make me feel really guilty about all things. She really makes me look like a bad daughter. I just want to be at peace, no noise, no pressure, no nagging; I can pray peacefully, do some cooking, do my own stuff and do what I want with limits and discipline. So how can I continue my life like this, why do I have to witness all this crap, **** kind of stuff? Life is like this up and down. I pray to God, please remove the jinx that my sister is creating. Please, I can’t take it anymore and do not make me involve.

Love, I have only one ex and I was once in love with him until I decide to leave him for good. I have dated many guys from different races even I have tried social networking. There are few kinds of relationship that we want and you are given a brain to choose, so which one do you one, how long you can be like that, why, where are your values and respect as a man and woman, consequences and etc, question all that to yourself? So we have the couples whom one of their partners cheat him/ her. We have huss-puppy love, this one is cute. We have couples who break-up due to their parents or religion. We have couples that just want one night stand, just sex and nothing else, no string attached. We have married couples who divorced with a lot of reason and excuse (with kids or without kids) .We have long distance relationships that just want cyber-sex, true love, just for fun and etc. LDR is very special case as you cannot be with him/her 24 hrs, this is based on trust, true love, beliefs, faith, interest, your heart see and speaks the truth (which I strongly believes in it because when you see him/her you can actually tell if he is cheating on you or serious with you. I am in LDR currently nearly 1 yr now and the passion or spark is still there, I hope it will last forever until we get married for real). Most LDR is about marriage and to find the right man and woman as their partner but 90% of the people believes that LDR will never work-out, well may be it is true or false, based on individual and own experience actually, if you are ready to take the risk and prepare for the worst, why not go ahead but you have to stay really strong and patience will cure the heal, always have faith. In fact, nothing about love or relationship can confirm if you will be or stay together forever. What is the most important thing is how you play your role and what you choose to be in that situation as a girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/Mum/Dad. Most men I met even my best-friend tend to say they fall in love with me, look guys what do you think I am? I am just a simple woman and there are so many women out there you can find, just go. Love is a dangerous weapon to play with, and most women give 100% to the man they love;( Well I am not like that, I don’t buy sweet-talking, and I know men really well, just like men know women too. I sometimes wonder, why men says that they find me understanding, attractive and wants to make me as their wife or woman forever or they say that they really really love or missed me example in a long distance relationship (It happens to me right now, he text me or call me every day to say that he missed and love me and he is always thinking about me every time and every day). I am scared to get hurt again and again; I am very sensitive about that, really! I am tired too if does not work out as what I wish. No matter what happened I have to be strong and stay focus, if it is not my fate, I think being single would be my only choice and think about my work only. It is sad to live single forever till you are old, I am going to be lonely then but with faith he will be with me forever. As a woman I will change that man for good and not me change into somebody else. Not going to let that happened, never! Lastly with passion, trust, respect, sincerity and love, that is where “Eternity Love” remains. I love you! ;)

Retirement, I am sort of person full of question, puzzle, wide imagination, ideas, good in fashion and etc. If that man is right for me, I am living in a good life; I wish to stay in a bungalow just beside the sea. If my life is meant to be simple, I want an apartment/condominium with less noise (not beside the roadside) and no crazy neighbor. As long as I am living comfortably, it is fine with me, I'm very understanding woman. I may not be able to get what I want but with my husband or kids and both, happiness is everything for me. If I have kids, I want to give the best for them, I will never pampered them to the maximum (scared they will be spoilt, danger!) but as they grow up, they should remember their roots, values, discipline, ethics, respect, moral, religion, be a good cooker and be the best human being in the next generation and become a useful person and choose the right partner in their life. This is never easy, so being a parent one day, I as a mother will definitely be a good mother and to show good examples to them and as a wife, I will be looking beautiful for my husband too, no worries. Every man’s success there is a woman. So both attention must be there, very important! I wanted to open a business if given a chance, like a spa, food restaurant, fashion outlet, housing estate, hotel or investment link would be alright for me. Since I am living in Singapore, life here is good to make money but for retirement not a good choice as this country is small, noisy and you work like mad dogs. I hope to find some countries to settle down (if my luck is there). I know that money is not everything in this life but I need money to survive since I am still alive in this earth (which I called Lunatic Planet).

God blessed me!
AnnaBellaRockz AnnaBellaRockz
22-25, F
2 Responses May 11, 2012

life is not easy for nor any one one in this world ,, every one have problems and everyone have cries because of it , all my family going out enjoying there life's my sibling were always out together and they refuse to take me with them, my elders always sit beside me and always say that u don't deserve to to be born and they say alll those bad things on my face , what have i done or why was i treated like this ? it was because i didnt have my father , i remember when my father dead body was brought in home i was almost 3 i was crawling over his body like babies do and saying that wake up daddy and hug me in ur arms and take me to the park so i can take swings i havent even seen my father or spent time with him i dont know how i can remember that moment i was so young but look towards the bright side of urs dear u have everything now ,, atleast u have spend time with ur father atleast u have stood up and u are fighting towards the life and u are earning at least u have way out ,, there are so many people who dont have way out million of people who dont have a piece of bread to eat , u are better than millions of them out there so alway go for the bright side and can u imagine my all sibling one day locked me and hit me very hard and they were almost 50 of them and i was only one ,, <br />
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regarding to ur causion or sister problem leave it leave her to what she is doing let her do it because people who dont listen one day they understand when they have a incedent in there life ,,,, ur sibling willl understand one day when she will face a real problem in life and that problem and incedent will automatically bring matuarity in her life , she will not tell u but she willl say it one day that"anna" was right i shouldn't have done this. <br />
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ur sallary problem lol its not a big deal what if it goes in expenses and other stuff at least u are doing a good deed in supporting family and u will be rewarded for it the money u are serving on ur family is not wasted , Allah will repay u or that.. and regarding to ur mom if she blames u for everything let her do it as a Muslim u are suppose to respect her and ignore her of her odd behaviour . <br />
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regarding to ur love lol if u really like him so much go for it why are u so afraid of things , life is never ends here is the best solution for ur problem ,, ask him to visit u if he does that ask him that if he really loves u and want to marry u so he must transfer to Malaysia and find a awesome job here ... if he really loves u he will never say no to these things and if he have a family in his state so ask him to manage things so that he will be with u for 6 to 7 months in same state i mean spend time with u in a same state for some months ,,,, i am saying these things because life is not a joke or marriage is not a joke , saying i love u on a cell phone doesnot matter believe me i have 1000 friends and i have so many numbers of women and i am daily calling them or msg them saying the same things :D every one knows i am flirty ,, i didnt flirted with u because u are sweet and straight forward girl and i think u as my best friend and as a best friend advice is that boys are bastards, they just do these things to take over u and the next thing u know that u have done a mistake ,me my self have did it ,i am telling u all the truth because i am sincere and truthful to u every single boy try to flirt on phone on net on every where , dont be mad i just do flirty things with those who deserve it or people who are like that i am not a bad person ,,, so dont do this or else i will be hurt that my best friend ruined her life because of some cool stuff a boy said ,,, thats why be practical ask him to come here than after ask him to spend time with u at least 6 months because divorce is not an option after that ,,,, i hope u have understood what i wanted to deliver

Yes, I understand whatever you are saying. I really appreciate your concern. I am happy that you treated me as your bestfriend. Thank you!
We almost have the same kind of story and it was not easy at all ;)
I hope one day we will meet in person.


What is that smile? :P

i wanted that my first comment should be on rather than any other one thats why i put a smile