You Asked For It...

Okay, I never wanted to have to post one of these and I've put it off as long as I can (almost three years), but some of you just seem to be begging for it.

First off, yes, I like sex and I joined EP so I could chat about sex with others. That doesn't give you license to be a jackass. Think about what you're planning to write in your opening message: If you wouldn't introduce yourself to a woman that way in real life, then don't assume you're going to get a favorable response from me. Despite what many of you think, there is a real person on the other end of the conversation and I've had it with the first line some of you send to me assuming that I'd allow you to do to me whatever fantasy strolls through your mind at the moment. My husband and I are very open, sexually, but we are also selective about the people we play with in real life and you guys are making me more and more selective about who I'm going to spend my time with on EP.

FYI—Hubby will answer questions, too, if you specify that you want to chat with him. I'm the primary user of the account but he has full access to it, too.

Second, we don't post pictures or videos. We haven't done it because we've decided we won't. We're not going to send you any privately, either, so don't bother asking. We've made this decision without your help and we're not interested in either your opinion on the matter or your suggestions on how we could do it so that you'd have more of your preferred ******** material. We share stories for those that are interested in reading them, period. There are plenty of others here on EP who have posted pix, so go find one of them if that's all that gets you off. It should go without saying (but I find myself repeatedly having to say it, anyway) that we're not Skypeing with you, either. Meet-ups are also off the menu.

Third, please be advised that EP does, in fact, allow you to write more than one sentence at a time in a private message. If you've even bothered to read any of my stories, you should be able to tell that I am a literate, rather verbose individual. That does not mean I intend to hold up both ends of a conversation, so be prepared to do your part. I enjoy chatting about sex, but you need to have some idea of what you want to talk about or the conversation is going to peter out in a hurry. Don't be wishy-washy—speak up about what you'd like to discuss. If I'm not interested in the topic you've chosen, then I'll say so and you can choose a different one. But when I ask you what you want to talk about and you give me some species of, “I dunno, what do YOU want to talk about?”, then all you're doing is wasting my time and ******* me off. If you initiated the conversation you must have SOME idea what topics interest you.

Need suggestions on topics to start with? Try looking at my stories or the groups I joined for ideas. If that sounds like too much work, then don't bother trying to message me. I'm also open to answering questions about sex, life in general and some things about my personal life. Obviously, I won't be giving you my address (quadrant of the state is about as specific as I'm going to get), real name or social security number, but anything sexual and most general topics are okay. I'll let you know if I feel like a response to a specific question would share more than I intend.

Fourth, I can't help you get your sexually-indifferent spouse to start giving you all the nooky you believe you're entitled to. That's between the two of you and a licensed therapist. You will not get my sympathy by telling me about your sexless marriage. I am actually LESS likely to engage in any kind of sexy chat with you because I find the implicit blaming of your spouse a turn-off. Also, I CANNOT help you get your spouse to engage in your fantasy if s/he is adamantly refusing to do so. I might have some suggestions if your spouse has shown some interest but is nervous about taking the plunge, but if the answer has always been “Oh, HELL no!” then I can't help you. Neither can anyone else on this site—unless you're looking to get your spouse drunk/drugged and force the situation. And if that idea sounds good to you, don't even bother contacting me.

Fifth, please don't use my whiteboard for long conversations. If it looks like the exchange is worthy of more than around 5 postings (total, not individually), then please take it to a private message exchange.

And finally, gestures. Some of you seem to really like using gestures. The trouble is that they are a poor communication medium and I find them boring since the list rarely changes and I can't make up my own. They are a great way to say, “Hi, I don't really have anything to say but I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.” Which is cool, as far as that goes, but that's pretty much it. I'm not going to get angry over it, but please don't pelt me with repeated gestures because I will acknowledge, at most, one a day.

That's it. based on my previous experience, I don't expect that many of you will bother reading this, but at least I've had a chance to vent and now I'll have something to point you to instead of having to type it out 50+ times a week.
Trysta09 Trysta09
36-40, F
43 Responses Sep 8, 2012


Lol its sad we have to tell these guys this information but I love the touches of humor you use while keeping firm about expectations and accepted behavior. I have debated posting similarly but find it doesn't matter to most guys they just think all they do or say is justified.

Thanks! I wish I could disagree with you but, unfortunately, you speak (or type) the truth. Too many guys on here spend too much time trying to think with the wrong head. :(

It was great, and yeah, the concept of erotic vs slews of cuss words is lost on a lot of people here. I don't ask ladies for pics, ask illiterate things, or ***** about my wife, mainly bc she is awesome. I was tempted to copy/paste that though, I loved that it was clever and spot on!

That was awesome and very well put!

LOL -- Simply well stated. Your wit and sense of humor shine through. I am partly commenting because of your other comment that it seems hard for folks to find this one. it seems that unsolicited pictures from guys that are really proud of their junk seems to be a perennial problem.

But what I am really curious about -- are you really sure that since 'we've all heard how a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the internet, we know that's not true'??

Notification problems are another issue for EP--sorry, but I never got one for this comment.

Thank you! Unsolicited junk pictures used to not be a perennial problem. Once upon a time, EP made users pay for pictures to be added to a PM with tokens. You could either buy them or earn them through participation on EP. Seems like we should go back to that, given the number of people that have no sense of self control. But just try getting a good idea through to EP these days.... :(

And, yes, I'm positive about the monkeys... :)

I almost feel like this should be required reading when people join EP. Very nicely put.

You'd get no argument from me.

However, you'd first have to require that new users be both willing and able to read. EP has dumbed this site down to the point where neither of those is required. :(

Great getting everything up front.....I commend you

Thanks. I wish it actually helped... :(

I know that because most just want pics for their "************ station" and don't rally care about anything else. My wife and I also don't send pics and this get them angry. They just send a "hi" and ask for pics and expect results, no way. So I understand completely. That's for letting me vent...

No worries. I posted a rant somewhere around here, too, and that was one of the issues.

The guys with the ridiculous expectations on pics after just a 'hi' aggravate me, but not as much as the guys who put a bit of effort into the conversation and then act all insulted because I won't realize that OF COURSE I should make an exception to our policy and send them pictures. After all, putting a whole half-hour of chatting proves their worth it, right? This usually occurs after they've assured me somewhere along the line that they weren't going to ask for any, but then they get a bug up their *** when I say no. Sometimes I thank them for proving that we have that policy for a reason...

You are soooo right. One guy got so mad even after I told him no 5-6 times I just had to block him......

Sorry about all the typos in the last message--I'm trying to field too many inputs at once.

Yes, I've had to block some of them. Some guys just don't take "go to hell" for an answer...

I know what you mean about typos as my computer keeps trying to put words instead of what I'm trying to put across.......Duly noted about typos.

I can't blame the computer this time--these are all mine. But thanks for being understanding!

Relax....take it easy.....grab a margarita and enjoy yourself....My wife just let my brother and uncle in. They came over to pick up the keys of the boathouse. Naturally they'll have a beer or two before departing. She'll ep them busy till I get there, probably shoot a game or two of pool with them...

Don't worry--my husband and I have friends coming over in a bit to play with. We'll have lots of fun. Hope you guys have fun, too!


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Wow, that's a real contract, but I agree and understand. Im married and would like my spouse to be as open as you but shes shy accept to my friends. Anyway Your terms are acceptable and well stated. I love to read sex stories so please write on!

I just read this after finding your profile and all I can say is wooh. It's shocking that this needs to be said. I hope that it stops soon

How this working for you?

Well, most people who contact me don't bother reading anything I've written before doing so, so it doesn't have as much impact as I'd like. BUT now I just point them here if they violate any of the above points and most either adjust appropriately or just disappear into the woodwork. The rest get reamed and, if necessary, blocked. I'm happy to say that points 4 and 5 don't seem to be so much of a problem any more, though I'm not sure why. Number 3 is the one that the vast majority of people have the problem with. Which is a shame, because I'm sure I'd enjoy conversing with some of them, if they would actually put the energy into it.

Hi Trysta, after reading this, I consider you to be a really interesting person. Whatever you have mentioned is perfectly valid, in fact, I think it should be made into the ideal Code of Conduct for everybody here on EP. I am sending you a formal request for friendship, if you do decide to add me, I would consider it an honour and sure my pleasure. Thanks.

LOL...Loved this line:

"please be advised that EP does, in fact, allow you to write more than one sentence at a time in a private message."

Sounds like you and I have had similar experiences here on EP in this vast landscape of vapidity and unbridled absence of common sense and manners.

As Mr. T would say, "I pity the fool" ;-)


Thanks. I've had that experience way, way, way, WAY too many times to count, I'm afraid.

It's really a shame. On the internet, you can be anything you want. I'm continually surprised that so many people choose to be stupid....

It's the lowest common denominator and it's EASY. That's why it prevails ;-(

EP is a sad statement, but probably somewhat accurate, on culture and the human race. We're doomed, Charlie Brown!

Oh, God, I hope not! What a depressing thought... :(

Love it !!! Very well written. Hopefully this has gotten the point across to everyone.
As you say, you write extremely well. I do love your stories. Keep it up and good luck.

Thanks, but, unfortunately, not even close. I still get lots of "cn i c u nkd" requests from illiterate morons.

Thank you, I'm glad you like the stories. Unfortunately, with EP's new Nazi-esque regime, I probably won't be posting any more... :(

Yes, you truly have to wonder how the human race has survived with such a gene pool !
Don't let the EP Cyber Nannies win. Keep writing. Please.

I may keep writing, but I'm not going to bother posting anything interesting here. I'm hoping that will come online and become our savior from EP. If it does, I'll take all my stories over there... ?? I'll have to keep a look-out for that. Just be strong and don't give up. Let me know if you do change please !! x

Just keep your fingers crossed that it will be what I heard it will be--that is, what EP *used* to be.

I'll probably post it prominently on my profile, if I leave, so anyone interested will know. 'Cause with almost a thousand 'friends', sure as anything, I'll miss someone, if I try to spread the word individually...

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Trys what's ur opinion of a dog licking the *****

Sexy, intelligent and open to dialog - very cool!!!

I removed most of my pictures retaining only those that friends had asked me to post for them which allows them or their wife to be seen with some degree of anonymity. And I intend to pare down my friends list to the few people that I actually want to converse with on EP. Thank you for adding me.

Thank you, but you are allowed to have as many pictures as you like! :D

Yup, just got tired of the picture hounds.

you guys seem cool and I can respect your wishes please add me

Very well written!!!

lol ok you got me on this one but i didn't see this first i just saw all your hot steamy stories so sorry for jumping the gun..... but your still a hot sexy lady that i would love the pleasure of pleasuring,hehe

Well, that ain't gonna happen, but I'm glad you're enjoying the stories!

It's nice to see someone else here that values intellect as much if not more than sexuality.
A very well written post, I enjoyed reading it. Thank you.

Thanks! The fact that you read it puts you head and shoulders above most of the guys on EP.

I definitely enjoy sex, but I don't really want my brain to leak out of my ears when I chat with people here. A lot of the guys that contact me appear to barely be able to read, let alone think much...

Very well said, thank you. I will read and perhaps reread your stories and look at your groups as well as our Exp's in Comm. You have shown me that i to need to write one of these. I can't post photos because I am in a small town with very small closed minds! Thank you.

For us, there\'s no can\'t about it. We just won\'t. Period. End of discussion.

It\'s your right to make the decision you are comfortable with, for whatever reasons you deem valid. You don\'t owe anyone an explanation if you don\'t want to give it. If someone else doesn\'t like it, too bad...

I LiKed The Part About Writing MoreThan One LIne :)

Me, too. Now if I can just get other people to actually try it. Unfortunately, few do... :(

My MessagesAre Short BecausE My Phone And EpDon\'t Play Well Together! How Was YouR WeEk?

Not bad, but it sounds like it\'s time to take this to a private message. This isn\'t the forum for a personal discussion.

I did read it..and you sound like a very intelligent woman...This is one of my passions actually finding other intelligent people out there to communicate with. So I will not friend you until I read more of your writings...

Fair enough. Thanks for taking the time to read this and hope to hear from you soon!

Thanks ! and thanks from a young man who worked in a restaurant, and the waitresses would bend over for me at times - so I know the enjoyment the bag boys (and girls) would have!

You're welcome!!

You sound like the kind of person I want to be my friend. I hope to hear from you soon <3

I think what you wrote here is GREAT! So many guys are so clueless! Its amazing how many don't read and can't follow directions. Just my Opinion! I would love to read some of your stories and am not here to annoy you or any one else!

Thank you for taking the time to read this. You are right--most guys who contact me either can't read or can't be bothered to try to act like civilized human beings.

Have fun reading our stories and feel free to let me or my husband know if you have any questions.

I LIKE that you're a verbose individual - so am I.
While I have some photos of me, it's not about swapping photos on this site.
I come here to read stories and share some of mine. I like reading what you've written, so I've added you to my circle, so when you post new material, I'll know.


I always like someone who can communicate beyond "wat u up to?" :D

Fair enough--you have the right to post all the pics you want, we just don't go looking for them.

I'm glad you like the stories and will add you to my circle so that I'll remember to let you know when I post one that's worth checking out (some are more so than others).

So far I'm enjoying everything I've read...


Awesome! I suspect the one in the "I want to improve the experience project" experience will be less entertaining than most of the rest of the stories, though...just a fair warning. :)

noted... searching out that story now ;-)

Gotta love obsessive fans...they'll read ANYTHING!! :D

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Thank you for posting this. I've been a member of EP for some time but did not really make any friends or use it much. I have been curious and learning how he various functions work and you posting, and what you like and don't like, is actually very very helpful Thank you for sharing it.

Happy to help--hope you get to enjoy EP more fully, now!

Resect for others brings more good shared experiences.

Yes, it absolutely does!

Straightforward. I like that.
And I appreciate your 3rd point. I too enjoy sex chat using the messages here. But passivity at the other end is so dissapointing.


It's too bad the people who need to read this never will. Isn't that how things go sometimes? You've intrigued me, now, so I'll probably be checking out some of your stories. Have a good evening, miss, and thanks for putting a smile on my face :)

True, but now I can just send them a link to this post when I get an e-mail from a jerk. They mostly get the hint and stop bothering me but you wouldn't believe a few of them--I can't understand how some people manage to function when they're so clueless.

You're welcome and I hope you enjoy the stories!

Hello Trysta, I just added you & would like you to tell you I did read this. I found some of the subjects you have written about interesting and wanted to remember to come back when time allows. Maybe we can chat later after I've read some of your postings. Have a great day!

Thank you and feel free to drop a line any time. Have fun reading our posts!

we chatted just once and we were not on the same page, but nonetheless this post is a breath of fresh air. As a sexual person who doesn't "discriminate" your tone has more credibility, and you point out more negative behaviors and some old oness from a fresh perspective....well done!!

Thank you--I appreciate the feedback!

I did, I asked you to "be friend" because of what I read here.

I understand your rules, I hope I pass and you can add me. I am a naughty French Maid at heart. My stories describe my life. I hope I have maintained a respect for good grammer while talking about some naughty subjects.

Wow - does that mean we have to write encyclopaedias or Wikipedia entries to engage your interest?

No, but one word responses and lack of engagement on your end could kill a conversation in short order. Anyone who's looking to be entertained can check out the stories I've posted--that's why I wrote them.

I am glad we think alike then. A conversation always needs input from both ends otherwise it dies very quickly. I get bored too with answers of lol or just a smiley - means YOU have to do all the work!

Yep--those are fine when a conversation has reached a natural end, but otherwise, both parties need to do their fair share...

read and understand.... thanks for sharing your stories.... :)

READ IT - agree with alot of it. especially "gestures" and stupid 1 sentence messages. Well it very demanding but the part about a person on the other end means we have one very strong view i common :) LOL

I did read all of it.You and your hubby entertain swing parties,or am I imagining it? Even if you were,pointless for me.I have no partner to bring home.
Interesting,this write up.

Good for you! It's nice to know that some people actually check this one out--even if it doesn't have any sex in it. We have an open marriage and, yes, sometimes we got to or host parties where sex is the main attraction and everyone gets to have fun with different partners. I'm sure you could find a party in your area, but I hear it does help getting in if you have a girlfriend.

Very well said Trysta I am sure many more EP users especially the women deal with this same problem daily. Anyway good luck and I am sure you have this linked for any future people who act like this so you can send them right to it. I also want to say thank you as I appreciate the stories you and your hubby write as they are always well written and very erotic.

Thanks, NativeWolf! Some days are worse than others. Fortunately, quite a few people are actually decent and I can just have a nice conversation with them instead of wanting to chew them out.

I'm glad you like the stories--keep on having fun!

Your personality and style found in your other stories really shows here! i would love to become as self assured and confident as you seem to be. I hope that I have adhered to your prescribed EP friendship guidelines.. even though it has been a while since I have been on here. To bad I can't send the thank you via email!

LOL--Oh trust me, SookieErik, you are not the problem. And I think getting pissed off has a tendency to make people become a lot more confident than they otherwise would be. Can you tell that someone had just reached the limits of my patience when I decided to post this? Thanks that come this way are just fine. And you're very welcome, even if I don't hear from you very often. Drop a line when you do get to EP!

Well written and very thoughtful.

Wow! Well said, Trysta! Even though I'm a guy, much of what you've outlined hear could have been taken right out of my brain's thought banks... but from a male perspective. <br />
Couldn't have said it better, myself. <br />
And even in speaking in the present tense, you have a way with the written word just as you have in the fictional or fantasy tense.

Thanks, CowGirlFan! I've just had too many members acting like I'm supposed to work my *** off entertaining them without having to put in any effort of their own, lately, and I just had to vent. You've had issues with people, too, I take it?

Thank you for taking the time to read my stories and let me know you've enjoyed them. I am, however, wondering which of my stories you thought were fiction or fantasy. I actually haven't had much luck writing fiction--even when the 'fiction' was an amalgamation of actual events.

Trysta, you are right in suspecting I've had issues with people, as well. (What gave me away?) In fact... you stated your case so well, I'd like to plagiarize a few things... heck... most of it, but adapt it to the male perspective.
As far as which of your stories I think are fact or fiction, it's hard to tell. As I remember, I read somewhere in all you've written that your writings are mostly based on actual experiences, but with some fictionalization thrown in. So if, so, you write so well it's hard to tell which is which. But most fiction is based on some fact or actual experience. I've written on actual experience, myself, but I also have some fantasies I could write about, too.
Got some thoughts on your experience with Jessica, but I'd rather share them with you privately.

Plagiarize away! There's nothing terribly original in terms of content. Just a rant from one too many dips driving me up the wall. My stories are primarily factual, though I don't claim that every line of the dialog is verbatim--time has a way of fading the memory--but what's there is to the best of my recollection and nobody's stepped up to tell me I've gotten anything seriously wrong (I'm still in touch with most of them). Now that I think about it, I believe I wrote a couple of fantasy-type stories, but they were for groups with that focus. I'm sure "Jessica" will be interested in your thoughts, too, so I hope you don't mind that I'll share them with her.

Please... share my thoughts with "Jessica". I'd love that. Will talk more with you about her privately to give you more to tell her. It seems the lady has captured my admiration and heart.

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Read it ...liked it ... now I'm going to check out your other stories. & groups ... have a great day..:-)

Thanks--it's good to know someone out there can read! You have a great day, too.

BTW--cute kitty in your profile pic!