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Just In Case ...

I don't have many people adding me, but thought I should write this to make things clear.

1) If you add me, then I sincerely appreciate your interest in me. Although I do question your sanity but that's beside the point. Please see point 7.

2) It'd be nice if you send more than just an orange little indicator on the friend "bubble". If you just show up out of nowhere, then I'm kinda left wondering why on earth you'd want to add me and then I'd REALLY have to question your sanity. Please see point 7 again.

3) If you have abs and you show them on your avi pic, you're automatically a friend of mine and you receive a gift certificate to the "Vain-r-us" store. We'll go shopping together ... I have no idea what I mean by that, but someone's gotta have some humour here.

4) I rarely add people first. Not that I don't like people. I genuinely do. Just that the only difference between having you "officially" as a friend or not is usually just your pics. And I really don't care what you look like as long as we have friendly, fun and witty interaction.

5) Contrary to what SOME of my friends on here think, I'm not really a huge flirt. Well, maybe I am with some people I know on here. But hopefully that's not ALL we do ... it's so much for fun to flirt while getting to know someone. IF I do flirt, then know that whatever I say is based on an honest compliment so don't think it's not sincere. In other words, I'd never try to flatter you for the sake of flattering you.

6) There are people on my friends list who are especially special to me. Please treat them with respect, no matter how they may appear to come across on their profile or avi pic.

7) Please send your psychiatric assessment report as soon as practical in order to explain why you would even WANT to be my friend on here.

8) There will be a final exam after which you will be officially labeled insane and added to my friends list.

9) If you think these rules are too complicated, then just ask me to add you, I probably will as long as you're not into some major weird stuff that would embarrass my mother since one of my friends on here is her ... just kidding btw, that'd be kinda freaky if she was.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to your friendship and I wanted to thank you for considering to add me. Just don't be surprised if you want to leave my circle after getting to know me more ... the one's who have stayed are the one's I've successfully brainwashed.
privatelyanonymous privatelyanonymous 36-40, M 30 Responses Sep 21, 2012

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Oops. I added you to my circle before reading this. But now that I've read it, I'm glad I went with my instinct and added you pre-maturely as it were :)

You do understand that this premature action requires you to take a picture of your abs right? O_O

Absolutely brilliant!!

lol wow i need to make a list like this....only mine would include a rule #10: if you are a perv, even speak tha word diaper, or talk about stupid stuff like peeing your clothes...ima have to send ur request to tha trash, cya, nothing personal, just business.

Ok well I have to get a psychiatric assessment done to be your friend. I would have thought you could tell right off the bat that I would probably not do to well considering our first conversation....so I guess I am totally out of the running. Lol.

Well, you know, there's always your abs ... ;p

Lol. My abs...hmm your abs are way better then mine.

Only one way to find out! O_O!

btw, in no way does that mean that I agree with your assessment :)

So are you denying your abs are hot?

They're just luke warm right now ... hot compress and all you know ...

Why? Were you lifting your balls and sprain your ab? Lol

Haha! I don't even know how to respond to this! O_O

Did I stump you? You said it hot compress and all...

I know I did! ... but you totally stumped me ... You definitely win this one ;) ... btw, are we ever gonna friend each other or just find ways to comment on each others' stories?

I don't know am I worthy of your friendship? Lol.

Are you worthy?!?! You stumped me with that other comment! That says a lot! :D

To be worthy all I had to do was stump the hot guy with perfect abs? Man I have been wasting time...trying to smooth talk you.

Hot guy?!?! ... Where?!!? I'll go ask him ...

Huh...wonder where he went?

Probably went to go look for which wall has his balls ...

That seems like a logical assumption.

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Haha I love this you sound a lot like me.

Good God! Shall I call the psychologist or will you? O_O

Oh no not me I'll never admit it to a psychologist

You DO know they monitor your EP account don't you? O_O

Busted lol they got to find Mr first catch me if you can weeeee

Mr?!?! O_O You're a dude?!?!? O_O!!!!! :p

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If I add you, can I skip number 8? I have a problem with final exams, they don't like me

So this means I should expect a pic of your abs? O_O ... btw, I just realized that ab statement makes no sense now since I changed my profile pic :/

you'll get one as soon as I locate them

Lol ... You're not so bad in the humour department yourself! :D

Since you rarely add people first and I may have only done it once or twice, then we will prolly never become circle friends Haha! But I like reading your stories, so I guess I will just pop over occasionally and see what you are up to!!

Rarely doesn't mean never and one or twice says you've done it before so we still have a fighting chance :)

You are hilarious. Laughing is my most favorite thing to do. Too funny. ;)

Haha thanks! ... sorry, I just saw your comment now :)

haha, interesting. I am not sure if I should add you or not. I need to have a reason. So far you seem to be fun and straight forward. But I need to know more. I might read your other stories and then decide to add you... but you couldnt care less.

WHAT?!?! OF COURSE I care! :)

Please, I beg.... do not add me...... PLEASE!

Hahaha. Lol.,okay,I'll start with a

Knock knock!

Whooooo's theeeeeere? ;)

Handsome

Hmmm ... ok, I'm gonna fall for it ... handsome who?

Handsome money under the door so I could tell you when you open!

=)

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*tries to stand up and applaud but the restraints and straight jacket keep her tied down*

Very well put! I like it.

Shhhhh ... don't say a thing ... I'll untie you and we can run havoc with our insanity on EP together! O_O

*bites tongue so as not to cry out in sheer joy and attract attention*

Lets DO IT!!!

Uh oh ... I sense I've let the monster out now ... sort of like the Incredible Hulk of EP insanity O_O

*adjusts slightly tarnished halo and attempts to look angelic and innocent*

Moi? Pas de toute!

I'm imagining the Incredible Hulk speaking french and it's just not doing it for me :s

"Hulk Mad" ... just doesn't have the same ring in french! Plus ... he doesn't have the horns, halo and tail ... :-P

He also doesn't wear a bra ... which I'm sure you do ... well, sometimes I suspect :p

*Looks down and pulls up shirt to check* ... umm, yup! Bra: Check!

I coulda done THAT for YOU ...

Ya snooze, ya loose.

*sticks out tongue at ya*

Hmmm ... pulling up your shirt, sticking your tongue out ... are you trying to tell me something? O_o

*laughing and adjusts halo*

NOt at all, it's the damned tequila again ...

Ah, yes, it sends a different message when you tilt your head back and pour it all over your body ...

Who said anything about pouring it all over MY body?! You're the one with the washboard abs.

Yes, but ... but ... you have much more interesting parts than I do :p

I dunno about that ... I mean, how can you know for sure? ;-)

You sir, are definitely in for trouble with these two lovely ladies! Albeit, extremely fun trouble!

Shhh! Don't go scaring him away just when we've got him where we want him!

Sorry dear, should I get the rope or the cuffs?

It's okay, the psych ward has it's own restraints. Just help me hold him down!

(FYI did you read where he said the two of us: "get to automatically go to the psychiatric ward without passing "Go!" ... separate rooms though, we can't have you multiply"? Lol)

Ahh yes, the straight jackets!
Hold him down? You mean he's not still passed out from the tequila? Get those straps fastened quick!

I saw that! Such a compliment! This guy appears to be one of us nuts though! I don't think he's qualified to be directing traffic here at the asylum. And good thing he doesn't know it isn't transmitted that way! :-)

Unfortunately he passed out awhile ago, though not from tequila, apparently I just wore him out. ;-)

*grabs the straps and starts fastening them*

Haha ... yes, he does appear to be an escaped mental patient attempting to pass himself off as a doctor.

Yes dear, you have quite the stamina!
Get 'em tight dear…like us, he doesn't belong in the general population!

*laughing*

I'm not going to have much stamina today ... today is a pretty safe day for the rest of the general population. Especially now that we have him restrained!

*smiles*
I bet not…stamina.
Yes, but let's hope he doesn't have secret powers or hidden talents like we. ;-)

I definitely don't have the kind of powers or talents you guys have to keep this insanity going! lol :p ... You two impress me ... I think I'm gonna go back to my room in the east wing of the psych ward and rest a bit ...

*giggles and skips along behind ya in a slightly psychotic stalker fashion*

*starts to walk juuuuuust a little faster ... nervously looking behind me*

*begins to hum to herself in a weird voice while continuing to keep up*

*runs into a broom closet*

*says in a sing song voice: Come out, come out, wherever you are.*

It's unlocked ... O_O

*quickly looks around, no one is watching, slips in closet*

Well, hello there ... *wink wink* ... now where's the damn light switch?!! O_O

I don't think that's the switch ... :-o

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Wow! You put me to shame with your witt...now I just feel worthless.
This is almost exactly what I would write if I had the time.
Geez! I'm gonna go cry now! Thanks!

Btw, you can view my psych eval as well as that of my dear friend Hongruilin, here:
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Have-A-Weird-Sense-Of-Humor/2928395
It's her story. My eval is in the long running replies.

Okay Kink, if you're using me as a reference and that as you psych eval, I don't think you need to wait for privatelyanonymous to officially label you as insane - I'm happy to do it myself!

*hands you and official certificate declaring you insane*

Now ... Didn't he mention something about abs ... ?

Ahh, so he did. Please see my album entitled "Situations I Like to Be In"
The first pic shows some abs.

Ok, you guys win ... I had absolutely NO CLUE what the heck you guys were talking about in that thread, lol ... You two get to automatically go to the psychiatric ward without passing "Go!" ... separate rooms though, we can't have you multiply :p

It's tough being the third leg of the crazy horse, huh? C'mon ... you can join my club ... it's waaaaay cooler anyway :p

What?! I don't get to join the waaaay cooler club?!

*pouts adorably*

L3D3 ... don't even try to fake it now! You're just as bat-crap crazy as the rest of us!

Me thinks the waaaaay cooler club just got cooler ... Hongruilin Coolio ...

lol, lol, LOL!!

YESS!!!! *does another happy dance*

Let's polka! :D

*puts on "Roll Out The Barrel" and grabs your hand*

Wait ... before we do, do we have our plaid shirts and overalls on? O_o

Well I'm wearing a jean skirt, does that count?

Shhhh ... don't tell everyone else you're topless O_O

*looks down in surprise*

What the?!

*runs away to find a shirt*

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Hahaha this made me laugh. That's some pretty funny stuff. Thanks for making my day. :)

No problem! Glad you enjoyed it ... but I warn ya, now that you've laughed, that's a sure fire sign that you are totally insane and that, my friend, may require psychiatric help in the very near future ...

Haha oh really?? Totally insane?? Kinda like the sound of that.. Is that crazy?? Lol.

Sounds like it's too late for you : ... don't worry, I'll visit you in the mental ward and sneak some cupcakes in for you ... don't mind them if there's a bite in them, cupcakes are my favourite.

Oh perfect plan of escape. You can hide the key in one of the cupcakes. It can be in the one with green sprinkles. Oh and can they have creamcheese frosting?? or buttercream icing..whichever's best. :)

Ahhhh ... sneaky! You've done this before! And creamcheese frosting OR buttercream icing?!?! Are you asking me to choose!?!?!? Heck woman! I'm bringin' both for ya! :D

But of course.. Lol I mean how do you think I'm able to be on this website and talk to you?? Haha. and thanks. I can never seem to choose between the two. Lol.

You mean EP isn't part of your psychotherapy?!?! It is mine! ... hmmm ... perhaps they've been lying to me ... maybe this IS damaging to my brain! O_O ... And your welcome! Just share ... that's all I ask :)

Are we experiencing some sort of a breakthrough here?? Lol. No problem. Obviously the one with the key is mine though ;)

I believe we just might be! I'll be outta here in no time ... but I'd rather escape with you. Your wolf will protect me, right? O_O

Lol well there's no need to leave. but yea of course. I mean the wolf mainly protects me, but I'm sure it can protect you if you stay close ;)

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Welcome to the loony bin, I like your creative mind

Hmmm are you saying you're a fellow looney?!?! O_o ... Welcome! :D

absolutely one of the best, or is ir worst?? :)))

:) Am I supposed tp put one of my tummies as my Avatar or all 6....? ;)

I think we can start with three and see how it goes :) You wouldn't want to open your robe up all at once now, would you?

Hahahaha...so true...gotta build up to the finale...

Terrific! To the point and clever...watch for my request ;-)

I got it! ... now ... where's the psych report? O_O

Hmm....mine or yours? :-P

Oh, they've already assessed me and it doesn't look good ... was wondering if you were worth trying to save from my madness! :p

Two kooky personalities? Could either be a whole lot of fun or send us to the mental asylum. ;-)

Maybe we'll just have fun at the mental asylum ... ;)

Sounds perfect! Let's run amok!

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Haha thats great, well done. :)

Well you know ... it's all about the gold star, lol :P Thank you btw :)

Good one!<br />
Disclaimer n the Insanity.<br />
:)

Sounds like we may just be a fit! :P

:)

I've never needed a psychiatric evaluation.. if I self certify myself sane, will I pass? But since you have such a great sense of humour .... I will take you up on this challenge you present.

Why take such an arduous route to our friendship? C'mon take a risk and just show ya abs!!! :D

Abs on a woman....... I do not bat for the wrong side :P I have curves. Lol.

Ooooo curves ... even better! The soft sensual curves of a woman ... there is a God, lol :P

Lol... gosh the trials of becoming your friend ... I see I passed ... Ty. I have achieved today :D Lol.

Hahaha! ... it wasn't THAT bad was it? I mean, the others had it tougher ... they had to go through an intense 5 day interview ... well ok, interrogation is more what it was ... and a comprehensive orientation ... they were also rated on their ability to bake cupcakes since cupcakes are the greatest invention known to man ;)

But .. why didnt you ask? I make amazing cupcakes! We could have skipped all those questions, if you had only asked this. :p

It wasnt that bad ... it was kinda cute actually. lol.

Ah, sorry ... I should have been clearer. Perhaps I was holding out for the soft curves rather than the cupcakes just for today. After all, cupcakes or curves ... It's a tossup ;)

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Bahahahahaha

As for point seven, its too late. My eval got chewed by the unicorn in my closet.

You're excused anyway ... we've been friends long enough to mean that I've successfully brainwashed you. You're MINE ... allll MINE!!!!! :P

Can't wait for my final exam.

I would just be careful what you ask for ... it does include a rigorous mental exam and a physical endurance test ... after all you'll need a lot of patience with me ;)

Do tell.

Uhhhh .... uh oh ... O_O

This made me laugh so hard!

Lol ... glad it did ... you do know that uncontrolled laughter is the first sign of insanity don't you? ... that means, WELCOME TO MY CIRCLE! :D

In that case I'ma psychopath! Thanks for the welcome xD

Good God ... not another one ... -_- ... lol

oh yes, another one. ahahaha!

Well ... all I can say is ... HOP ON THE BANDWAGON THEN! There's plenty o' room here for another nutcase ;P

Good, because I planned on coming either way ;D haha

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Ha! The fires under my ***, most days anyway!

Whoa really? Whatever you do, I hope you never have gas ... just might launch yaself to the blue moon! :p

Ah a fellow lunatic, or just crazy like a fox. Many blessings on this life's journey, or life's escape through a second story window.

Lunacy is all relative ;) Many blessings to you in this life as well ... I certainly hope you don't escape through a window ... unless of course there's a mattress on the bottom and a fire in your room.

u forgot about when the men in the white shirts are coming

Ahh! ... little do you know that they've already come for me ... I escaped ... O_O

wonder where youd got to lol

LOL.. that was funny... will add u.. :P

Thanks lol ... it's fun talking to you too ;)

haha..I'd like to copy and paste this as my story too....you've covered everything, and I love the last paragraph. lol :)

Oh, I forgot to mention the disclaimer. If you use this story in whole or in part without the expressed written permission of privatelyanonymous or his crack legal team, then you will be subjected to an immediate lawsuit where legal action shall be taken to hand over your sunglasses as payment for said violation of copyright laws ... Or, you could just message me and ask for my permission ... BTW, how come our interaction so far has been in only "single words"? Not that I'm complaining ... much can be said in single word sentences apparently :p

Absolutely.. ; )

Positively

Ultimately! :)

Happily, lol ...

Hopefully =)

Emotionally (?)

lol....indubidibly...is that a word? ;)

I've heard it said in cartoons so it must be! ;)

Sensually ... lol *shrugs shoulders*

lol, yeah probably the Looney Tunes..hehe, .....Sweetly

Why do I think of Daffy Duck? lol ...

... Quietly ... shhh

haha I think it was Daffy.. =)....beautifully

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Man I wish I would have read this before I added you :) It's good stuff!!

Well, I just wrote it so it would have been impossible. But now that you know ... you can decide your fate :p

Already did that never said I was the sainest person..too late now.. :)

Btw..I hope I'm one of the special ones but...yea I know..:)

I know what you mean ... sometimes we're beyond hope :p lol ... and yes! "Special" is DEFINITELY one way to describe you ;)

Haha..it's ok I can live with not being one of the "Special Ones"...:)

lol ... you know I'm kidding ;)

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