I Am Currently a Fraud In My Mother's Eyes

My Mom has practically disowned me and I am in denile. My family was working together while I was pregnant and helping out as a family for once. We were rebuilding our inner trust and hoping to keep our spirits alive. My life changed as I came closer and closer to my due date. My Mom met a drunk downtown and decided he is worth living for. She has scleraderma and has been told she has 6 months to live...She chooses this alcoholic stranger to be worth more to her than her family. The last 3 months of my pregnancy were of me looking after my siblings like I was their mother. I felt trapped and I knew I was taking on too much.

I moved out and moved in with my boyfriend and his mother. I told them to keep going with family first. I am sad to say they gave up. My brtoher's rascist friend, Jacob moved in with them. My Mom leaves $10.00 for 'groceries' from the corner store-they steal it and use it for drugs. My younger sister is caught up in all of it going into Gr.8 and learning to be independant.

My sister is only 13 and has epilepsy-she can not be on her own in case she has another stroke. But she isn't a huge concern to anyone there and she is left alone for long periods of time without warning. She came over this weekend and cried long and hard because I am no longer there ot support her and encourage her. It pains my heart to know I can not intervine anymore. My mother has told me I am a horrible mother and to worry about my own "***** kid". Is that what we are to her?

She has 2 more months left to live-if what the doctors say is true- and she has not been home in 4 days. No longer buys them groceries and has spent her money on alcohol at every and any oppourtunity. I tried repeatedly to convince her that Al is a ****** up guy just like all her past boyfriends but she just shuts me out. Now I needed her to be there for Amanda and she didn't even know that she hadn't been home this weekend.

What am I supposed to do? Continue on with my own life while my blood struggles and my heart aches knowing that my siblings are hurting-or let them hurt until they find their own inner strength to move on and not let Mom's stupid decisions affect them. I almost called Childrens' Aid on her. But I know my sister would be in a group home at 13 and that will not be a good experience with her reading, writing, (due to her first stroke at 8yrs old) visual difficulties and seizures.

Am I making too much of this? Does anyone mind that I told a random vent of bitching?

oxygenhasflaws oxygenhasflaws
18-21, F
2 Responses Sep 22, 2009

update: the ******* tried to set fire to moms house. hes gone to prison now. I know my mother has come back. :) I couldn't be happier.

This is most unfortunate and definitely not something a new mother should be enduring. In regards to Amanda there is the Epilepsy foundation that you could look for support in helping find the right place for her to be in