Freestyling. For Real Though, It's How I Feel

Why does everything between us have to be a teeter-tooter? We’re always up and down but never the same. There’s noone to blame we’re just incompatible. It seems like everyday we’re dressed for battle- your weapons are your words and my tears are my death. You always win. My strength against you falls thin, and I wonder how if makes you feel to always win- to be so powerful. I know how I feel- PATHETIC. And it makes me sick that it’s apparent how I feel, and yet you just continue to make my day go down-hill. I don’t mean to be mean I’m just telling you how I feel. Damn it I love you more than anything else before, you’re all I want to explore. I find you so interesting but I think you think I’m a bore, and it’s got me feeling real insecure. I’m not so sure about this, I thought things were bliss but it seems my fantasies are not even close to reality. I imagine us in a sitting on our front porch, staring at the sky reflecting on our wonderful life, me telling you how the best decision I ever made was to be your wife. I just want to lie calmly with you for a day or two, want to spend all my time with you. It’s just that life gets in the way, and you turn away like you would rather be somewhere else. If you love me then why is it so difficult for you to just tell me- tell me all the things I need to hear? I always want you in my space but I feel I’m invading yours, I never meant to interfere, why must there be so much negativity in your atmosphere when I’m around? It’s got me thinking maybe it would be better for you if I were gone. I feel like everything I do is wrong, you got me feeling like it’s not with you I belong. I tell myself to be strong but I feel the war between us waging on.
beautifuleyes13 beautifuleyes13
22-25, F
Sep 7, 2012