Starem (noun): A stable of adoring men, plus one woman.
Hongruilin Hongruilin 31-35, F 8 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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Fairest Queen, your most favored subject has seen to bequeath me with a sumptuous gift, a Dictionary/Thesaurus, well the parts that weren't used to line the pigeon cage. Dost thou have a Royal Translator as the peasant girls often seem confused by the use of phrases such as degenerate and incorrigible (although I make no admission to having heard those phrases directly).

*laughing* I did have a C3PO human-cyborg relations officer, but he's seemed to have wandered off. If you'd like to be our interim translator, we could probably arrange that.

human-cyborg relations officer.....................*hurries off with H's gift, muttering "this isn't going to be easy"*

*wanders into throne room, hair a mess of curls, rubbing eyes sleepily*

Did someone mention translations? And pigeons?

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*hands you a Starbucks, a brush, and a wet washrag*.... :>D

*attempts a smile but is still too sleepy, just nods, takes a sip of Starbucks, wipes face with rag and then looks at the brush in confusion* ... I did mention curls right? That thing is only gonna make frizz!! Lol

oops...damn it...what i get for reading between the lines bad *gives brush to DD*... :D.

*looks at brush in confusion* stables? peasant girls in the dungeon?

Rumout has it some of them alike hair brushes ... Just sayin'


If it pleases milady, I am in dire straights here. I believe my association with that rascal HB may have been a mistake.

How so? Lol

Ohh ... I am sooo staying outta that mess. You guys are on your own!!! I like my head firmly attached to my body.

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men with leather thongs on i assume

You should go read all the comments ... it tells more of the story.


Is that in response to the story or to everything that followed in the comments section? Lol

maybe all of the above?:)

Haha. It's been an "interesting" morning. Lol

Do the men get to wear gauzy nothings?

You shall have to consult the queen for an answer to that question. I am simply her adoring subject, the one woman in a stable full of adoring men,

May I adore you?

Given that my court is held in high esteem, the men shall wear what is most befitting their rank and favor. My one women shall be dressed in the finest silks the land supplies. As for her adoration, I leave that up to her free will to decide.

As my queen has been nothing but kind and generous with me, I will extend such in kind to you my dear man. You may adore me ... Though from a far so as not to disturb my majesties peace.

That is why you shall forever remain in my favor, dear one.

You two are so adorable!!!! Even from afar... ;-)

Thank you my queen, I but live to serve.

Thank you, Jester. We aim to please. :)

Then serve you shall, H. I may even be willing to share with a particular wizard if he's so inclined, in and out of the dungeon. ;)


My Queen,

What does my rank permit me to wear?

You're awfully bold to assume I'd allow you in my starem of minions. Hmmm, I guess you could come, dressed in your finest attire, and seek an audience.

silk and satins and feathered hat, ruffles, a sword, boots up my thighs, all of that?

Hmm. I was thinking more leather, less silk and ruffles.

Or leathers to be precise

perhaps a leather hat, a vest, and boots, nothing else?

If I might humbly request my queen ... No ruffles on the men in your starem. Leathers on the other hand ....

I agree, dear one. The men in my starem are most decidedly Men.

Thank god for that! Well god and my queen of course.

I am only slightly surprised to see that the dreaming and scheming continues, and at the same time heartened to see that the "gauzy nothings" have apparently been vetoed.

I am surprised by the fact that you were surprised at all ... One would think you knew us better by now. And I'm sure my queen agrees that gauzy nothing's are far better suited women.

Yes, dear one, I do agree. Gauzy nothings are reserved for the peasant girls in the dungeon. Jester Ambrose could attest to their beauty as he was only allowed to watch not enjoy (it is for punishment after all).

It was the peasant girls who were punished, your excellency!!!

Such an impertinent jester. *sigh* I have a mind to send you back to the dungeon...

He will only enjoy that too much my queen. Might I suggest an alternative? Lock him up in the tower for awhile.

Thank you, dear one. The tower is a most excellent idea. Alas, it is under repair since the dragon got loose of its chains, but I have been assured it will be ready for solitary confinement of insolent subjects within the week. Jester, beware.

As long as Rapunzel is up there with me....

She's married her prince and moved away. Sorry. Plus it's solitary confinement so you can think on your sins against your queen.

You mean the ones I have done? Or the ones I want to do??? ;-)

Hmmm...since my kingdom is Anglican, your thoughts do not constitute sins as they do in the Catholic church. Therefore, you should contemplate the sins you have committed and determine new ones you wish to commit.

I shall do that!

*is relieved to hear she won't be punished for ruminating on sins she'd like to commit ... As she's be in there a very long time, especially after this evening*

My first confession, queen: I've been fantasizing about taking you dressed only in your crown!!! ****enbarrassed, wistful look****

Dear one, your queen would have to send herself to the tower for quite an extended period of time for the sins she dreamt of committing just this evening. That is why my kingdom shall remain Anglican for as long as I reign.

Jester Ambrose, my goodness, you have made your queen blush, and that is not an easy feat. However, as you have expressed your thoughts out load, I have but no other choice than to send you to the tower upon its mending for a fortnight.

Love live the queen and long may she reign! ( For I am quite certain these dreams of sinning will be repeated frequently in the future.)

I hope those dragons can take a joke!!! ;-)

Yes, I am quite certain our dreams of sinning will be repeated for quite some time. I certainly know mine will be.
Jester, do you speak dragon? The male has been particularly ornery, as males often are, and could use a good joke.

I do, your majesty!

Taking your leave my lady and Queen, when you referred to wearing leather, perhaps you would give assent for the men to wear only a leather hat, and one other leather garment of your choice.

What is my rank my queen?

Hmmm...well, seeing as you're new, you have the choice of stable boy or page. Where do your aspirations lie? Would you prefer to work with animals or knights?

I'll work with the knights my queen

Then page you shall be. Welcome! :)

Thank you my queen. :) shall I dress in just leather?

You may wear leather or suede, my dear.

I will wear leather my queen. Nice and tight ;)

My dearest queen, I have returned from my hibernation refreshed and ready to re-join your starem. I request your most generous permission to once again take my place, resting at your feet, gazing upon you in adoration. Also my most adored majesty, I request an introduction. For I have returned to discover a new page within your kingdom.

Welcome page Wolf.

Welcome back, dear one. Yes, we have a new page in our midst. He's a very nice Wolf. :)

And yes, of course most favored subject, I am happy as always to have you sit near me, and I appreciate your affection and adoration.

Hello favoured subject I am pleased to meet you

The pleasure is quite mutual I am sure. I look forward to getting to know you better dear page.

Thank you fellow subject

Your welcome, anytime. ;-)

So are you ;)


I am now queens personal pet. :)

Dear Page,

I write you this simple and brief missive in order to make an inquiry (or two) of you:

Have you thusly been informed by our most beloved Queen that you are her own personal pet? If so, my heartiest of congratulations to you. We all long to be as valued and loved as that.

My other inquiry is this: Are you boasting about it? If so I must offer a word of warning to you. Our queen is not known to suffer either fools or braggarts (especially any who make assumptions).

I only say these word as I would hate to see you locked up in one of the towers, whose repairs have only recently been finished. For I fear you would suffer greatly were you to be denied the loving attention of our adored majesty.

Your most earnest friend,

I'd never brag my loving friend. I merely just wanted you to know. I would never brag as we are all loved equally by our adoring queen. :)

Most beloved Page and friend,

I thank you for taking the time to clarify your previous statement as I was greatly afraid for your safety. A most beautiful and power a creature such as yourself should not be locked up.

That being the case I am sure we shall have plenty of time to enjoy each others company for my gracious queen has allowed me the sweet favour of sitting near to her, at her feet. I shall now have to make a request of her: the permission to pet and stroke your beautiful fur coat.

Your fellow friend and Starem member,

Now, now, loyal subjects. My most favored girl is right. I do not suffer fools or braggarts well in my queendom, but I did accept Wolf as a pet on a trial basis. He is young and eager, but I think his heart and intentions are honorable. Plus, I'm always willing to help my subjects if it is within my power and ability to do so.

But pet, I do caution you about boasting in public. You may find yourself in the dungeon or tower where I know you don't want to be.

My most adored and worshiped Queen,

I beg you to not be displeased with me if I overstepped my boundaries in cautioning your new pet Wolf. I simply want you to have the best and most worthy queendom possible. We have come to an understanding, and I now see those qualities which you obviously could discern much better then I. I have no worries that he will soon grow into someone very pleasing to you.

I do have one small, but more desirable request to beg of you: Might I be allowed to pet him from time to time? I find the sheen of his fur coat to be most enticing. However I will only do so as you permit, for he is after all your, not the courts, pet.

With most sincere adulation your humble servant girl,

I'm sorry my queen. I was not boasting but if I have offended you I accept punishment.

Yes, dear one, I give my permission for you to adore Wolf, pet his coat and find his favor as long as he is agreeable to that. Dear one, you shall be forever at my right as we have a kinship. Wolf, my pet, shall sit at my feet on the left as I reign. :)

Wolf, you have not offended me, and my subjects always receive one free pass before I punish. I'm sure you've learned your lesson well. Now, will you allow H to pet your luxurious coat? It would please me to see you both happy.

Thank you my queen. :) I adore you with all my heart. And I hope me and your most favoured get to know each other aswell :)

Darling, sweet and dearly loved Queen,

Thank you. Both for the privilege of being at your right and for the gracious permission given to adore Wolf and pet his coat. Your kindness and generosity know no bounds.

With all my heart,

Dear Wolf,

Having received the blessing of my most cherished Queen, I now formally request permission from you. Might I please stroke your fur?


And yes she may pet me all she wants. :)

*tentatively reaches out and strokes the Wolfs soft fur*

*howls happily and licks your hand*

*giggles sweetly*

*barks happily and nuzzles you*

*reaches out to wrap arms around Wolf and bury face in his neck*

*sighs in happiness and holds you in my soft paws*

Awww. I'm very pleased my subjects are happy. It brings a smile to the face of this only slightly wicked queen. :)

Now that made me laugh - had to break character to write this. Only "slightly" wicked - that's perfect! Bravo!

Lol, why thank you. Like I said before, only slightly evil or wicked as the case may be. Did learn some things from my evil stepmonster. ;)

*snuggles and falls asleep softly in comfortable bliss*

You two are too damn cute. Just have to say. ;)

*makes cute happy noises and keeps her warm*

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Exhausted (adjective): Example - A lone woman, surrounded by adoring men.

Might one ask, to whom might this example be referring?

Touché. I should have anticipated that one.

Sustenance (noun): That which keeps a queen from remaining exhausted.

Yes, you should have.

What type of sustenance would satiate my queens appetite and fortify her for dealing with all this adoration?

Jester Ambrose reporting for duty, her highness!!!

Color me disappointed. This was getting interesting.

Spoilsport. Off to the dungeon with you, OW.

Oh wait. I did say one free pass. *sigh* Guess I shall have to wait on sending you to the dungeon.

Thank you, Jester Ambrose. Your antics are always appreciated.

Not to mention, I think you are forgetting who can put you back into your bottle! ;-)

Hey, this is my fantasy. Back in the dungeon, you.

I'm sure you won't have to wait long my queen, he seems quite apt to stumble with his words this morning.

My pleasure, Queenie Genie!!! Please send all of the peasant girls down there with me!

On the matter of sustenance, I'll suffice it to say that my starem of adoring men and one woman may be able to provide most of what I'll need to keep this queen healthy and satiated.

Thank you, H, most precious of my adoring subjects, I agree that I will soon get to play with Wizard OW in the dungeon. Care to join us?

I would be delighted and honored to join you.

I think it's healthy for people to have lofty goals and ambitious aspirations.

(Rolling eyes) I refer to your earlier comment and direct it back at you, OW.

Hmmm ... I think the natives are becoming restless.

I agree. Perhaps he's tired of our game. Alas. That, or he's uncomfortable. ;)

I think we've outlasted him. As women often do men. Though you would know that best my queen - having need of a full starem of them.

Lol! With that you may have put the finishing flourish on this fun fantasy. :) But I hope it's to be continued...

Oops, lol, note to self: remove foot from mouth and think before typing next time.

No, you were wonderful. Your queen is very appreciative. :)

Thank you my queen. *curtsies*

Well done, dear one. *strokes your hair* *kisses forehead* You may rest or play as you desire. :)

I think I'm going to rest now ... It's been a full morning, lol.

I hear you! Very fun, though. I think I enjoy being queen for a day (or lifetime). :)

Bowing before my Queen LLLD3, and removing my hat. May I visit the peasant girls in their gauzy nothings?

If I decide to send you to the dungeon, you will be able to see but not touch or interact. However, you are free to travel the queendom, and if any peasant girls offer their attention, be noble. If I hear otherwise I shall send my guards to collect you.

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Like that! A play on the word harem, from a female perspective! And so appropriate because we men sure are good at staring! ;-)

Am glad you enjoyed it! I hadn't even thought of the men staring perspective, but I'm so totally gonna pretend that I had clued into that all along..

Yes, her royal highness will have you thrown into her dungeon if you weren;t thinking of that! lol

Shhh! Don't tell her.

Ohhhh we are done! She doesn't miss a trick!!!


Thought about calling the guards, but every minion gets one free pass. I'm only a partially evil queen. I didn't quite learn all of my stepmother's tricks, but I did keep the mirror.

Good points! :-)

I aim to please. :)

I humbly beg your pardon my queen, please forgive me?

Let her eat cake! ;-)

Forgiveness granted. I think I'm too easy on my subjects. Need to work on that.

You need to crack the whip a little before just letting them off....

I did day ONE free pass...I'm nothing but a queen with integrity.

I'm sorry - was I staring again??? 8-)

You may be going to the dungeon after all for your impudence. Guards!

Will I too be sent to the dungeon my fair queen? I could not help but gaze upon your beauty, finding it impossible to tear myself away for even a moment. Fearful that my heart would break from missing you.

Given adoration like that, how could I deny you? If you want the dungeon, then that you shall have, or you could just be seated at my feet while I reign.

Given the option my queen, I would prefer to sit quietly at you feet. Gazing upon your beauty as permitted.

Thank you, humble subject. You may gaze at me and one of my adoring men from the starem. I wonder whom you will choose...

With your permission my lady, I happen to have a particular fondness for a wordsmith among us.

I understand your fondness and share your weakness for that particular wizard of words. I believe he's woven an exceptionally wonderful spell. Permission granted, my dear. Gaze away.

Thank you my generous queen.

Your majesty, while Hongruilin is following her right to stare at another, there is yet but one pair of female eyes, which are yours. May I humbly beg that you take mercy on this pour soul and subject him to your stare.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Very insolent, Red. I and I alone determine whom shall receive my favor. Trying to coerce or beg will not earn it, I assure you. There may be times I want you to beg, but I don't know you well enough, nor have you been in this queendom long enough for us to be at that point. I suggest you hold your tongue and sit quietly for the time being, thinking on how you have displeased your queen.

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Love it! Thank you, sweet subject.
Sincerely, your ever-appreciative queen. :)

Your welcome m'lady, I assure you it was my pleasure.

Glad to hear that. Your pleasure is my utmost concern. :)

A little explanation: A phrase coined in jest with a friend. A combination of harem and stable (which we decided was the male equivalent of a harem).

love love LOVED this!!! whew! took a long time to read all the comments though...but...having now a more excellent knowledge of the the Queens will say it was a worthy read indeed!

*giggles* ... so glad you enjoyed it. It has been a rather amusing diversion. :-)

Indeed! I LOVE it! :-*

*blows a kiss to her Queen*


*randomly pinches djtigers tushy*

I don't think anything you do is random, dear one. *nictates*

Shhh!!! Don't give any of my secrets away!! *nictates in return*

Oops, sorry, H. Djtiger, disregard. ;)

lol, much better!

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